I'm here 10 months in and feel like I'm not fitting in "Bigly"? (Denver: sale, house)

[rtloucks]

I know the OPs feeling. We moved out there in August of 15 and from the second day things started happening and it just felt like a every day was a new challenge and we never got to enjoy the reasons we moved there. We tried joining clubs, activities and made sure we went to all of our town events in LIttleton. Yet a year later we just never felt like we fit in and it didn't seem to be getting better. We also grew tired of the weather and scenery(sorry but to us, it was not amazing) TO see the haze covered foothills every day didn't do it for us. I get why some people love Denver, but honestly to us it was dull, dry, boring, ugly and.... well i just can not put my finger on the exact description I am looking for. It is not for everyone though. We opted to move in October (back to MN while we finalize our plans to go back east) II hope you find what makes you happy and wish you luck in your path

[BarryK123]

Originally Posted by N610DL

I made up a word - moderators can we change thread name "I'm here 10 months in and feel like I'm not fitting in "Bigly"?

Mike - might as well delete my post (and this one), since it no longer applies.

[SkyDog77]

Originally Posted by history nerd

It's interesting how most people responddin g have been transplants... The story is so much different in every way for natives. Try moving out of the trendy areas and come experience real Colorado.

Sorry man, I'm a native whose family has been here since before Colorado was a state and I don't think anyone holds claim to the definition "the real Colorado".

[history nerd]

Originally Posted by SkyDog77

Sorry man, I'm a native whose family has been here since before Colorado was a state and I don't think anyone holds claim to the definition "the real Colorado".

Perhaps I should have included a winky face my comment was patrially meant in jest. I do, however, think there is an element of truth to the idea of two Colorados... I f people seem interested I might expand on that point when I'm at my computer rather than my phone.

[SkyDog77]

Originally Posted by history nerd

Perhaps I should have included a winky face my comment was patrially meant in jest. I do, however, think there is an element of truth to the idea of two Colorados... I f people seem interested I might expand on that point when I'm at my computer rather than my phone.

Gotcha. I agree there is more than one Colorado. More like Four or five. Rural agricultural, resort mountain, rural mountain, urban, and then the western slope. My point is none of them are the "Real Colorado". I don't think this is all that different than other states.

[Careerist]

Having moved here from outside the state as well, I will say that developing relationships can be challenging no matter where you go.

It took me a very long time to develop the relationships I have today. Many of the lasting relationships have come through work circles, friends of friends, and some social networking functions like Meetup or co-ed sports leagues. And even to this day, I still have friends who come and go. Work, or their relationships with SOs, take them in completely different directions. Such is life when "adulting".

After having lived here for over five years, I briefly moved back to my home state and town a few years back. I found it excruciatingly difficult to build relationships there as well. But the one major benefit that a place like Denver does seem to have is that it draws people from around the country. So A) there are a lot of transients looking for the same thing you're looking for, and B) they're not all cut from the same cloth; so there are a diverse range of personalities and social norms to encounter. As a result of meeting people from all sorts of backgrounds, I've experienced far more than I would have if I had only met people from particular areas or regions. I've picked up a variety of different tastes and hobbies through them. For instance, I couldn't have cared less about skiing when I first moved here. But with my SO, we have adopted it as a mutual hobby along with cycling, which is one of my favorite activities.

As you've already concluded, 10 months is not that much time in the grand scheme of things. If you can, give it a few years. Join Meetup groups. Join co-ed sports teams. Force yourself out of your comfort zone and spend time exploring different activities. And most importantly, maintain a healthy, positive outlook. At the end of the day, if you come across as negative, cynical, or pessimistic, it will likely rub people the wrong way and may preclude the possibility of developing any sort of relationship with them.

Quick story before I run. My SO and I were in Avon this weekend for a mini-staycation. We were sitting at the bar at a local-friendly establishment. We were watching football on television and enjoying some pizza and beer after a full day of skiing. To the right, there was a friendly older couple who struck up a brief conversation with us about what we were up to, where we were from, etc. To the left of us, there were a couple of younger guys, probably in their late 20s or early 30s. The entire time, one of the guys was loudly bleeping and moaning about all the transients who invaded the resort town, where he works, and who help pay his salary at the resort. He was complaining about his job. He was complaining about his boss. He was complaining about seemingly every thing about his life. My SO and I were very offput by his hostility and anger. I guess the moral here is don't ever turn into that guy, because it will cause people to run in the opposite direction of you.

Give it some time, stay positive, and I believe good things will follow. All the best!

[flamadiddle]

OP, you're not alone. I spent 6 months in Denver for a contract gig with the premise of moving there permanently. After hearing how wonderful it was via this forum and others I was anxious to have that "wow" moment when I arrived, but it never happened. I have no real complaints about Denver other than the dry air (frequent nose bleeds and chapped lips), but it didn't knock my socks off. I had a good time during my stay, but when the contract ended and I was offered a full time spot, I told them thanks, but I'll pass. I ended up back in the Chicago area since this is my hometown and I like it here. I know, bang-bang! lol

Anyway, if you're not feeling it after 10 months, I'd say it's time to move back home or throw a dart at the map and try something new.

[skins_fan82]

Originally Posted by N610DL

I don't think they "jive" with my overly sarcastic dark personality type.

I had to quote you on this. I am very much the same personality type, and I've noticed I have to tone it down A LOT around the people I work with and the friends I've made here. People here are a lot more upbeat and positive. Not that I'm not (LOL), but I am very sarcastic and have a very dark sense of humor. I agree that that wouldn't jive with a lot of folks around here. Maybe it's because we're east coasters?

I was married when I moved here but IMO there is no shortage of good looking women in this area, especially in the city. But "noticing" them vs actually trying to date them are two totally different things and I have single guy friends in their early 30s who have told me they've had a hard time dating here.

Best of luck in whatever you decide to do.

[Careerist]

Originally Posted by skins_fan82

I was married when I moved here but IMO there is no shortage of good looking women in this area, especially in the city. But "noticing" them vs actually trying to date them are two totally different things and I have single guy friends in their early 30s who have told me they've had a hard time dating here.

With regards to dating, I'd strongly suggest Meetup groups for singles and co-ed sports leagues for the OP. I think it's a lot easier to build meaningful connections with people through those avenues as opposed to online dating. Of course, you can still use OLD as a supplement; I just wouldn't rely on it as the primary source. It can be discouraging with as many flaky people you'll typically encounter on those sites.

FWIW, I met my SO of two years via a singles mingle that was hosted by a Meetup group.

[pikabike]

Originally Posted by rtloucks

I know the OPs feeling. We moved out there in August of 15 and from the second day things started happening and it just felt like a every day was a new challenge and we never got to enjoy the reasons we moved there. We tried joining clubs, activities and made sure we went to all of our town events in LIttleton. Yet a year later we just never felt like we fit in and it didn't seem to be getting better. We also grew tired of the weather and scenery(sorry but to us, it was not amazing) TO see the haze covered foothills every day didn't do it for us. I get why some people love Denver, but honestly to us it was dull, dry, boring, ugly and.... well i just can not put my finger on the exact description I am looking for. It is not for everyone though. We opted to move in October (back to MN while we finalize our plans to go back east) II hope you find what makes you happy and wish you luck in your path

This, a thousand times over--for Denver, for CO, for every place, period. You can't tell what is the right place by statistics and "Ten Best Cities to Live" articles alone.

Ten months might be enough to tell, or not. It is different for different people.