Husband has Type II Diabetes (Metformin, buy, blood, plan)
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My husband was diagnosed with Type II Diabetes. Originally in 2010 I had noted problems with his concentration and memory and he went through much testing with various doctors including a rheumatologist, neurologist, cardiologist, and endocrinologist before the diagnosis was made in 2011. In 2011 we both went through a course with a dietitian to teach him what to eat and what to avoid, how to count carbs, how to read ingredient labels, portion control, etc. He began exercising and lost 80 lbs.
He was doing really well on his diet and his memory and concentration issues abated, his health improved and all was well.
In 2013 he needed a stent. Due to his extremely high CPK the doctors took him off of his statin and only allowed cardio exercises. He was not allowed to build any muscle. This aggravated the genetic spinal deterioration that he has and he became bedridden for 6 months. In that time he was put on a number of pain killers.
While on the pain killers and being immobilized, he began ignoring his diet and gaining the weight back. When the doctor took him off the pain killers he began drinking beer and also rum. He finished a fifth of rum in 3 days. He now hides how much he is drinking from me... which I think is mostly beer, but I can't be sure and have no idea how much he is consuming.
He and I have had several talks. I've had several discussions with his primary care physician and with his cardiologist. His memory and concentration problems have returned. We are now dealing with behavioral issues too. His PCP thinks this is all due to poorly controlled diabetes but said there is nothing to be done until my husband gets back on his diet.
He takes Metformin. He no longer tests his blood glucose. He is refusing to go back for his quarterly A1c. He did decide to start exercising again which he has been doing for the past month. However, he still eats (and drinks) whatever he wants including fried foods and junk food.
Does anyone have any suggestions as to how I can help him? I am very worried about him and it is very difficult living with the behavioral (mostly anger- and depression-oriented) issues he is engaging in.
Metformin and alcohol are a bad combination because of the risk of a low.
You can buy an a1c test that you mail in, so he could get the results without his doctor seeing them. That way he'd know and he maybe wouldn't be afraid to go for the one that the doctor ordered. It might not be as bad as he thinks.
There's not a lot you can do for him, he has to make the changes himself. I think it's not too unusual to get burned out on taking care of yourself as a diabetic, a lot of people will stop the healthy changes they've made and go back to old habits until they reach a crisis point.
Are you in danger from his behavioral issues? Do you have a plan in case things get too bad?
I am not in immediate danger and I do have a plan just in case.
We did go to see a marriage counselor. I have explained what is going on which him due to his poorly controlled diabetes. The therapist understands the situation and has said he will try to get my husband to take care of his health. Meanwhile I continue to weigh whether it is worth it or not to stay in this relationship. It breaks my heart that I have to consider alternatives.
My husband was diagnosed with Type II Diabetes. Originally in 2010 I had noted problems with his concentration and memory and he went through much testing with various doctors including a rheumatologist, neurologist, cardiologist, and endocrinologist before the diagnosis was made in 2011. In 2011 we both went through a course with a dietitian to teach him what to eat and what to avoid, how to count carbs, how to read ingredient labels, portion control, etc. He began exercising and lost 80 lbs.
He was doing really well on his diet and his memory and concentration issues abated, his health improved and all was well.
In 2013 he needed a stent. Due to his extremely high CPK the doctors took him off of his statin and only allowed cardio exercises. He was not allowed to build any muscle. This aggravated the genetic spinal deterioration that he has and he became bedridden for 6 months. In that time he was put on a number of pain killers.
While on the pain killers and being immobilized, he began ignoring his diet and gaining the weight back. When the doctor took him off the pain killers he began drinking beer and also rum. He finished a fifth of rum in 3 days. He now hides how much he is drinking from me... which I think is mostly beer, but I can't be sure and have no idea how much he is consuming.
He and I have had several talks. I've had several discussions with his primary care physician and with his cardiologist. His memory and concentration problems have returned. We are now dealing with behavioral issues too. His PCP thinks this is all due to poorly controlled diabetes but said there is nothing to be done until my husband gets back on his diet.
He takes Metformin. He no longer tests his blood glucose. He is refusing to go back for his quarterly A1c. He did decide to start exercising again which he has been doing for the past month. However, he still eats (and drinks) whatever he wants including fried foods and junk food.
Does anyone have any suggestions as to how I can help him? I am very worried about him and it is very difficult living with the behavioral (mostly anger- and depression-oriented) issues he is engaging in.
Thank you for any insight you can provide.
Obviously its up to him, you can help by not buy foods that aggravate his condition,advising him of his shortcomings without coming off as nagging.Ultimately his condition will shorten his life but if thats the way he wants to go theres little you can do.
If all he is taking is Metformin his diabetes cant be that far out of control at this point.
He's on 9 different drugs for diabetes, high cholesterol, and heart disease. I'm probably missing a few other health issues.
Sounds like your hubby and i are in the same situation.At 67yrs of age i take several medications for the diabetes including a total of 300 units a day of two types of insulin,and the high blood pressure meds and meds to bring down cholesterol.
I've found that diet plays a major role in the condition but keeping to the required diets is tough.
a couple of resources that are beneficial if he wants to follow them is a book called "Wheat Belly"by a Dr Davis and a book called "Eat to Live" by doctor Joel Fuhrman. Tough dietary regimes to follow but will give some measure of success if followed. In my case by "generally" following the dietary guidelines for the last 2 months i've managed to lose 20lbs and keep it off and i've halved the amount of insulin i require.
The basic concept is to break the addiction to the dietary lifestyle that gets people into trouble,
The diet consisting of meat/cheese/bread / with a side of grease, sugar and alcohol has to go and be replaced with a much more vegetable based diet with lots of vegetables,legumes and handful of nuts for snacks.
Improved health can be had but its up to him to want it.
Thank you Jambo, I will pass your suggestions on to him. We went to see a marriage counselor and I told her that his memory, concentration, and personality are being altered by his lack of adherence to his diet and by his alcohol consumption. I have further refused to go to marriage counseling until we get this under control, because, really, there is no point in doing any therapy if he is going to forget what we worked on 3 days later.
My husband has agreed to go to therapy by himself. He has agreed to go back to his nutritionist for another course on healthful eating. That course starts in the middle of November. Hopefully the therapist will help him to get through whatever issues are preventing him from attending to his health.
Anyway, I have a little hope, but not much, because he will forget our conversation any moment now.
Unfortunately there is really not much you can do. He has to want to make the changes and work at making the changes. He seems to be willingly in-denial of his condition. I know for myself, high blood sugar tends to make it easier for me to be upset about things. I've had days where I just felt upset (aka RAGE), but had no actual reason. That was about a year before diagnosis. That extra sugar in his system wreaks havoc everywhere. The end game will be loss of organs and limbs, including eyesight. But once again, up to him to WANT to change.
I've had friends that were pretty lax about their treatment. When attending dinner parties, they would eat delicious starchy items, desserts, etc. I could not understand how they were able to control their sugars while I had to stick to just protein and non-starchy vegetables to maintain my numbers. And over the years? Every season, colds and flus.. they got it. Eye surgery.. yup. Several root canals and implants.. yup. By now, they finally got it and is doing much better on insulin and self control. But you have to want to do it. I'm sorry I don't have better news. But if you like, you can share our stories?
Thank you Jambo, I will pass your suggestions on to him. We went to see a marriage counselor and I told her that his memory, concentration, and personality are being altered by his lack of adherence to his diet and by his alcohol consumption. I have further refused to go to marriage counseling until we get this under control, because, really, there is no point in doing any therapy if he is going to forget what we worked on 3 days later.
My husband has agreed to go to therapy by himself. He has agreed to go back to his nutritionist for another course on healthful eating. That course starts in the middle of November. Hopefully the therapist will help him to get through whatever issues are preventing him from attending to his health.
Anyway, I have a little hope, but not much, because he will forget our conversation any moment now.
Any chance he has early onset of Alzheimer's?
He probably knows when he is going against his best interests concerning what he eats or drinks,a small reminder is all thats needed dont beat him up over it as its not constructive and just leads to arguments and bad feelings..
At this point he needs some form of psychological counseling to give him a reason or purpose in life, I got great results from a local life coach when after retirement i felt rather irrelevant in life something akin to a rudderless ship with no direction. I now have put meaning and direction back in my life and while i'm still 60lbs overweight with major diabetic issues i have a destination i'm striving to reach.
Thank you Jambo, I will pass your suggestions on to him. We went to see a marriage counselor and I told her that his memory, concentration, and personality are being altered by his lack of adherence to his diet and by his alcohol consumption. I have further refused to go to marriage counseling until we get this under control, because, really, there is no point in doing any therapy if he is going to forget what we worked on 3 days later.
My husband has agreed to go to therapy by himself. He has agreed to go back to his nutritionist for another course on healthful eating. That course starts in the middle of November. Hopefully the therapist will help him to get through whatever issues are preventing him from attending to his health.
Anyway, I have a little hope, but not much, because he will forget our conversation any moment now.
It is extremely common for diabetics to go through depression because of all the changes in their patterns they must make, any side effects from medications, and just having a disease.... it sucks.
You can't do anything, but make him meals that are right, and eat with him, not against him, which you probably already do.
He needs to pull himself out of it, or medicate himself out of it. It's his choice.
I just went through this myself. I know what to do, and I know how to do it, and for a year or more I blew it off and didn't take care of myself. Residual grief from losing my mother, tons of other issues going on -- my life is so much better than others and I know that, that didn't stop me from going through a really bad poor poor pitiful me phase and ended up comfort eating my way out of it, to an A1C level of 8.
I'm doing much better again, because I opened up about it and started talking about my feelings instead of squelching with chocolate and flour and butter.... yum... anyhow. It's on him, he has to step up to the plate.
With his drinking, it really sounds like he's freaked and self medicating. Men can sometimes be a hard nut to crack, to make him open up... but keep trying to talk to him. Not to nag, just talk about anything and everything. There's so much more to live than diabetes and heart stuff, but when you're in the midst of this, it's like that's all there is ... he needs to know there's still lots more life to live for you, and you want him there by your side living it too...
Good luck!
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