How do you tell a woman she needs to get in shape ? (doctors, 2013)
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Don't tell me "you don't" ! There has to be some way to bring it up and encourage / support , ask them to loose weight and get in shape without hurting their feelings. I know being pushy or rude is no way to go but somebody has had to have hit on the exact combination of timing and words to pull it off
For what? Fat loss or maintenance? Either way, I eat Primal, and I try to follow the 80/20 principle. I still like my sushi and cheeseburgers with a bun (though I usually do it protein style). But my macronutrient ratios fluctuate depending on whether I am maintaining or losing.
I initially followed a calorie/carb cycling regimen that was simple and straightforward in its approach. It was the same plan with a slight tweak on "feed" days. This plan paid focus to the metabolic response from specific foods, and how to avoid these issues.
Today, I had some apples and plain full fat Greek yogurt around 8:30am. I don't normally break my fast before 12pm, but the nausea creeps up during pregnancy when I don't eat something upon waking. I usually just drink a smoothie with coconut milk (full fat, usually make my own) with egg white or whey protein powder with spinach, kale and frozen berries. Sometimes I throw in half a banana. Adequate fat, protein and low glycemic index carbs.
I did eat a few squares of 70% see salt dark chocolate after my apples and yogurt. Yum! Soon, I will be picking up the lemon pepper wings I just ordered, and will eat a chicken salad with strawberries and full fat blue cheese dressing.
Dinner, not sure yet. Possibly half a pound or more of salmon grilled in butter with a baked sweet potato topped with butter. I also just drank some bulletproof coffee.
The main thing, which a lot of docs still aren't on to these days, is to avoid foods that trigger an insulin response. Insulin causes the body to hang onto fat. (It also causes a lot of other problems, including elevated cholesterol and arteriosclerosis over time.) So, avoid sugar, avoid starches or choose ones that are slow to digest and hit the bloodstream, like brown rice, avoid ingesting large amounts of carbs. (Fruit is high in carbs, high in the sugar: fructose. Certain fruits are better than others.) Focus on protein and green veggies, especially when trying to lose weight. Use your endocrine system to help you lose weight, by choosing the right foods to keep metabolic hormones balanced.
This. If I want to eat a potato, I eat a sweet potato (if I am only looking to maintain. I don't if I want to lose fat). I love sweet potato fries and baked sweet potatoes with butter and cinnamon. There are many fruits that are high in sugar. Just because it's a fruit does not mean it's good for fat loss. Sugar, high glycemic index fruits, and any food that will trigger a high insulin response, is not good for those trying to lose body fat. Their body is already adapted to this macronutrient for energy, and it readily stores excess, which many people unknowingly eat daily, as body fat.
Protein, fat, green veggies and fruits low in sugar, and foods without added sugar, does more for sustainable fat loss than "traditional" methods.
I would never allow myself to get into that position. It was a hypothetical situation and you know it. So stop playing dumb (perhaps that cannot be controlled)
Famous last words. If you had a dollar for every patient I've read about, interviewed, or written about who said they'd never "allow" themselves to "get into that position" of gaining 100 pounds yet gained that and more, you could take everyone on this thread out to lunch.
I agree with those who say your posts on this thread are out-of-touch. I'll add that they are offensive in their callousness and rudeness.
Oh, and no, I am not overweight. Just tired of people with zero compassion or even a rudimentary knowledge of what someone else might be struggling with talking arrogantly out their butts.
If you aren't both already working on staying fit, or don't have open and good communication, this is a difficult subject. (If you are, you're probably already discussing this without problems, and making an effort to deal with it.) Yes, you can lead by example and hope it works. You can praise good behavior (dieting, exercise) and ignore (and not participate in) poor behavior. You can escalate a bit by saying how good slimmer people look, or praise people exercising or eating well, and say nothing of that sort to your partner. They'll notice, I'm sure, and then it's up to them to decide for themselves what to do. (I'm assuming you wouldn't be concerned if you weren't in a relationship with them.)
If nothing works, you have to take the risk of being direct if doing nothing will have negative consequences (such as breaking up or cheating). Of course, saying something could have negative consequences, but at least by that point you've tried, and may be ready to move on if nothing changes. You may point out that your sex life has suffered because of attraction issues. In the end, it's their choice about taking action. If they do not, it's your choice to impose consequences, such as leaving them to find a healthier relationship with a healthier person.
I had a friend who divorced his obese wife because her relationship with food took priority over her relationship with him. It was a smart decision on his part.
threaten to leave her to be with someone skinnier jk. it is difficult to train your brain to follow an exercise routine when you have never done it before. i've been told to lose weight by my own family and it is really hard to do.
Maybe join a gym together? I rarely work out because it's so boring for me if I have to do it alone. I would totally work out more if I was with somebody, and that person was into fitness. On the flip side, I don't really understand why women get so touchy about the subject. It's just weight, I would totally want to know if I was getting out of shape and I would want to feel like I could communicate the same thing to my partner if the situation was reversed. That said, I'm a very direct person (maybe too direct, lol) and don't really think like most women, so to be on the safe side, tip toe lightly! Maybe incorporate more healthy foods and adopt a healthier lifestyle if you haven't already, that way it could be something she can join in on rather than feel like it's something directed only at her.
So are men supposed to tolerate fat women? Do women tolerate men that suddenly lose their job and say he cannot "pull his weight financially" anymore?
If women are going to view men based on their ability to provide and protect. Men need to view women based on their physical beauty and fitness.
It goes both ways. I can't tell you how many times I've dealt with couples where the woman complain endlessly about how much money her husband makes while looking like she fell off a Ben and Jerry's truck. Again, if a woman is going to continue to select men based on their sole ability to provide and protect for them then don't be surprised when men don't want to put up with fatties.
The genesis of the human relationship goes a little something like this.
Women control access to sex.
Men control commitment.
If women want long term relationships, don't get fat. You can't have it both ways. I've seen so many wives leave their husbands because he lost his job and had to take a lower earning job which put a dent in the lifestyle she was accustom to.
The same principal applies to women. Men like beauty, when a woman in the relationship gets fat, he needs to treat it just like women treat it when a man loses his job.
You do realize most women work and many are the main breadwinner. There is no way I want a man treating me as nothing more than an object. I'm not even overweight but it is offensive when men judge on weight when they are fat themselves.
Btw many years ago I dated a man who kept trying to get me to lose weight. It was offensive, considering I wasn't fat at all (I weighed 115 pounds).
How do you tell a woman she needs to get in shape ?
Quote:
Originally Posted by HuntFishRepeat
Don't tell me "you don't" ! There has to be some way to bring it up and encourage / support , ask them to loose weight and get in shape without hurting their feelings. I know being pushy or rude is no way to go but somebody has had to have hit on the exact combination of timing and words to pull it off
Sorry OP, but my answer is "you don't". I don't see any easy way to tell her without coming across as a big-time jerk.
Are you in shape? Whether you are or not, I'd advise just leading by example. Work out regularly, go running, eat healthy, go to the gym, etc. Maybe do an occasional outdoor social activity that involves some physical activity, and invite her...perhaps include some friends if possible. Be positive and fun about it. She can decide for herself whether she wants to exercise more. It's her body. If she doesn't, then you have a decision to make...either love and accept her for who she is, or end the relationship.
There's a very good chance that this relationship will not work out in the long run. So for the next woman, maybe make sure that she cares about health and fitness BEFORE getting too involved with her.
Would this be a good place to point out your thread where you said black and white Americans are mostly lazy fatasses? You also said that you might prefer to marry a foreigner so your marriage would last longer, which answers one of your other questions in this thread.
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