How do you tell a woman she needs to get in shape ? (cardio, protein)

[Stockyman]

Book an appointment together with the family doctor to get a physical. If the doctor says blood pressure, cholesterol, and blood sugar are fine and doesn't mention anything about a weight loss for her, maybe you should let it pass.

Personally I'd mention the health route.

Or maybe she will get the idea when you start to have less sex with her or become limp on a regular basis.

[Djuna]

Originally Posted by HuntFishRepeat

Don't tell me "you don't" ! There has to be some way to bring it up and encourage / support , ask them to loose weight and get in shape without hurting their feelings. I know being pushy or rude is no way to go but somebody has had to have hit on the exact combination of timing and words to pull it off

You have daughters, how would you like their SO or boyfriend to tell them that they need to get in shape? Can you imagine how hurt they would be? You're essentially telling someone you don't find them attractive anymore, that's just mean. I'm beginning to understand why you have been unable to keep a relationship since your divorce now, you're a very insensitive person.

[Metaphysique]

Originally Posted by coffeendonuts

So moral of the story is OP, you shouldn't say anything because apparently weight loss is an incredibly complicated process that takes years of overthinking, and you are suppose to make yourself feel attraction for them regardless of their weight.

Nice use of logical fallacies. It isn't over-thinking. It doesn't take much to familiarize oneself with current nutrition research and data. Certainly not years. It took me, what, a couple days of reading and research before implementing the tools I learned and acquired. The years come into play after the fact, after dedicating more time to the research, and experiencing results, sustainable results.

Therefore if your spouse wants to maintain a food addiction, let them do so.

Some people deal with food addiction as a result of other issues. Other people gain weight due to prescribed medication or an undiganosed/misdiagnosed medical condition. And for many it is due to a metabolic response to the SAD.

Apparently Americans have different DNA makeup than Europeans and Asians that somehow prevents them from utilizing all of the free online resources or even their doctors.

Straw man. Before many Asians adopted Western eating practices they were healthier and leaner, and then they began eating the SAD, and guess what, it had the same effects on them as it does American people. Many Asian and European cultures have long had different diet and lifestyle habits. (many countries completely ban food ingredients and additives that are used in America)

The majority of doctors are oblivious to the current nutrition data and research. They preach the same outdated garbage that doctors preached thirty years ago, based on shoddy research. Just because it's tradition or routine does not mean it's based on sound evidence or data.

And those of you who aren't attracted to obese men and women are shallow individuals.

Try again. I am not physically, sexually, attracted to very obese or large men, but I know better than to assume that obese men (or people) are inherently lazy, undisciplined, lack willpower, and eat gobs of chips and cupcakes. Instead, I prefer to be educated and informed and base my position and approach on such research.

It's just completely wrong and selfish to expect your wife/husband and the mother/father of your children to take care of themselves or to seek help when necessary. Whether it's for their mental or health issues. Even if it's the result of poor eating, it's bad to encourage healthy eating and exercising.

Interesting.

No one is saying that. Some of us are saying your methods and approach are questionable, disingenuous, unsupported, and simple-minded.

Again, 2/3 of Americans are overweight so perhaps men and women should get with the changing times?

And the first step is to combat misinformation and ignorance surrounding that very issue, as seen in this very thread.

[drunkwithwords]

Originally Posted by HuntFishRepeat

Don't tell me "you don't" ! There has to be some way to bring it up and encourage / support , ask them to loose weight and get in shape without hurting their feelings. I know being pushy or rude is no way to go but somebody has had to have hit on the exact combination of timing and words to pull it off

You already answered your own question. You really don't. You can't control what people do with their bodies and while there are many ways to tell someone how they could change their body, it doesn't matter how you say it. I remember my entire childhood my parents tried different ways to make me lose weight. "Don't you want to look like your friend?" "Are you really happy like that?" "Don't you want to be healthy?" It had the opposite effect of course, because it only amplified the fact that no, I'm not like my friend. I'm not happy and while I do want to be healthy... how?

It's definitely important to be healthy. It's important to eat well and exercise regularly, but I'm not going to tell someone to do it, no matter how gently. I'd rather lead by example.

In 2011, my boyfriend and I were very overweight and in June, I decided to lose weight. For the first year, our relationship was strained, because I kept on mentioning weight loss. And after a while, I stopped and just did my own thing. And guess what? He's lost eighty pounds. Not because I told him to but because he wanted to do it. And while I was part of the inspiration, he took the leap on his own.

Additionally, sustainable life changes never happen when someone loses weight for someone else or anything outside of wanting to be healthy for you and you only.

[Stockyman]

On the one hand, if a man gains significant weight, there's a good chance he could develop Erectile Dysfunction. Not to mention it would make his penis looks significantly smaller.

Those reasons should be enough to make a man lose weight!

[Stockyman]

Before this thread is locked down, the anti-weight loss group should post their height and weight. Also if they have high blood pressure, cholesterol, or blood sugar.

Simply amazing how people will make up any excuse not to lose weight. Yes, massive extra weight is always great to carry on our bodies. We all stay young and our metabolisms will always fight off the effects of obesity.

[JustJulia]

You first, Stockyman.

Just kidding. I don't think anybody here is anti-weight-loss. They may be anti-telling-someone-you-just-started-dating-what-to-do-when-it's-none-of-your-business, or something like that.

[Prince_Frog]

I met a girl on OKCupid that was anti-weightloss the other day.

I didn't message her or anything, but she viewed my profile. She lived several states south of me, and she said she wanted a man who was OK with "feederism". Now admittedly, I've not ever heard of that before, but based on her pics, she was definitely against weight loss.

In fact, I'm not even sure how she even manages to walk..And I wished that was just a mean thing to say, but that's 100% honest and truthful.

[drunkwithwords]

Originally Posted by JustJulia

You first, Stockyman.

Just kidding. I don't think anybody here is anti-weight-loss. They may be anti-telling-someone-you-just-started-dating-what-to-do-when-it's-none-of-your-business, or something like that.

Word.

I'm all about people losing weight for good reasons, but not MY good reasons. They need their own. If you feel the need to tell someone they need to look different, then you should begin addressing your own issues with crossing personal boundaries and probably low self-esteem. Look within. People aren't props for your awful life story.

[Stockyman]

OP, tell her the truth. We all age. That extra weight we had in our 20's and 30's will catch up to the majority of us. We are not young forever. But from reading a lot of these posts all the adults think they will be.