Welcome to City-Data.com Forum!
U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Health and Wellness > Diet and Weight Loss
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 05-23-2008, 08:18 AM
 
7 posts, read 21,082 times
Reputation: 13

Advertisements

I've tried to do it say it nicely to him, but my husband needs to get on the bandwagon and lose about 50 pounds. He was never the smallest man, but he used to be so much more in shape. I bought him a bike trainer for his birthday (at his request), but he doesn't use it. He used to bike all the time, but we've had a major change of lifestyle in the past year since we had to move across country.

How, oh how, do you convince a man to lose weight? He knows he needs to, but he just pacifies me. Now I'm starting to get annoyed with him. I worry about his health. He looks about 15 years older than he is. My family has said things to me about his weight. HIS family has said things to me about his weight. Knowing that it can only come from within, how can I persuade him that it's time to get fit?

Thanks for any and all suggestions.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 05-23-2008, 08:36 AM
 
Location: Chisago Lakes, Minnesota
3,816 posts, read 6,451,235 times
Reputation: 6567
In my last relationship, my girlfriend would make "yum yum!" type remarks about guys she saw that were in shape when we were out and about. It may have been childish, but it worked.......I got my fat butt in shape pronto. Funny how a little jealousy can light such a fire.

Of course, you're married, and that's a different ballgame altogether. How many times do you see a husband let himself go after getting hitched because he gets contented?

Wish I could offer you some actual advice that would help, but the bottom line is he has to want to do it for himself. Good luck.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-23-2008, 08:37 AM
 
Location: lumberton, texas
652 posts, read 2,664,472 times
Reputation: 259
unfortunately I have no suggestions, but am right their with you. I have tried everything I know to get my hubby to loose weight. I hate it when people talk to me about it and say I supposed to do something! I cant make him loose the weight. He now has hi blood pressure and cholestrol and still wont do anything. says he's trying but obviously not. I hate to say it but it really makes me sick now a days when I see him eating stuff he shouldnt. I know that sounds horrible but it is true.
I have tried exercising with him, cutting out all bad foods in the house (but of course I find mcdonalds and candy wrappers in his car) bought him the DR phil book for loosing weight, begged the doc to talk to him, even the kids get after him because he no longer plays with them.

anyway I wish you luck
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-23-2008, 09:43 AM
 
Location: CNJ/NYC
1,240 posts, read 3,971,119 times
Reputation: 429
Quote:
Originally Posted by mountain~mama View Post
How, oh how, do you convince a man to lose weight?
Tell him his penis is looking rather short these days and that you miss its length when it wasn't covered by so much fat in his pelvic area. If he loses fat he'll reveal more of it.

Quote:
He knows he needs to, but he just pacifies me. Now I'm starting to get annoyed with him. I worry about his health. He looks about 15 years older than he is. My family has said things to me about his weight. HIS family has said things to me about his weight. Knowing that it can only come from within, how can I persuade him that it's time to get fit?

Thanks for any and all suggestions.
Make it more painful for him to remain fat than to do something about it.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-23-2008, 10:14 AM
 
430 posts, read 1,359,561 times
Reputation: 171
The best way is to get in shape yourself. Size 6 or better.

Same for your kids.

Buy him men's health mags so he will be provided with articles on how to do it.

Either he will get the picture from your example or he won't. That is all you can do.

If he still does not respond, then if it that important, give him an ultimatum.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-23-2008, 10:29 AM
 
Location: CNJ/NYC
1,240 posts, read 3,971,119 times
Reputation: 429
I strongly advise against men's health mags- they are full of garbage advice.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-23-2008, 10:34 AM
 
Location: southern california
61,288 posts, read 87,449,435 times
Reputation: 55563
i am powerless to change other people. when i do they end up,
a. controlling me
b. hating me
c. not changing
i can only work on my own character defects.
but i can sure stop eating banana splits in front of him.
people eat to keep going (power up) or to cheer up.
or bek they are a compulsive (12 step stuff)
get help MD or counselor if appropriate.
if not for him for sure for you
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-23-2008, 10:51 AM
 
Location: Philaburbia
41,971 posts, read 75,229,826 times
Reputation: 66945
Quote:
Originally Posted by austinnetx View Post
The best way is to get in shape yourself. Size 6 or better.
You have to be a size 6 to be in shape? But all bull aside, setting an example is a good idea. Take walks together, fix healthy meals, get rid of the junk food in the house.

Quote:
If he still does not respond, then if it that important, give him an ultimatum.
Then you'd better be prepared to follow through if he rebels against your ultimatum. Frankly, if someone told me to lose weight or else, I'd tell them where to get off.

No one can convince any one else to lose weight. A person has to want to do it for themselves.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-23-2008, 10:53 AM
 
3,695 posts, read 11,375,333 times
Reputation: 2651
Read (or google) "Lysistrata"
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-23-2008, 11:05 AM
 
Location: Denver
4,564 posts, read 10,957,954 times
Reputation: 3947
It's got to be his choice and his choice alone. Otherwise he'll be resentful and never stick to any fitness routine.
I was always trying to get my husband to do something. He's not fat, but he's developing a pot belly and I was always hinting, "if you do something about that now, it will be easier", or commenting on what he ate. I tried to adjust my workout routine so that he would workout with me. That's been hard because I run 4 miles a day and he can't run due to his knees. (He will occasionally Rollerblade while I run, but it's rare.)

All that did was annoy him and make him passive aggressive about it. If feel bad when I look back and realized what I was doing.
So I do what I have to do for me and hope that he'll eventually decide to do what he has to do for HIM. Even using comments like, "I want you to do something for your own health" doesn't help. People know when they are unhealthy - most often you aren't pointing anything out they don't know.
I can see him coming around. The other day he made the comment about my abs. Yes, I'm in better shape then before we were married. I can tell it might be starting to bother him a bit. But he has to come to that conclusion on his own.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:


Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Health and Wellness > Diet and Weight Loss
Similar Threads

All times are GMT -6. The time now is 01:53 PM.

© 2005-2024, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Contact Us - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 - Top