Was it a right thing to have my dog uthanized? (vet, skin)

[Ngthoangyen]

Recently just before Chrimast a few days I had to have my 16 years old dog euthanized and this was the hardest decision ever. I kept asking myself if I did the right thing or not. Why do I feel like I am a murderer? I
keep having this guilt sticking in my head what if I didn't make this decision, my baby girl would still be here with me today.

One and a half year ago, my dog was diagnosed with congestive heart failure. The cardiololist put her on 7 different medications which included Laxic, sprinolacton, digoxin etc; she had to take 3 times per day. When she started taking these medications, the first thing I noticed was she lost her appetite. Then it hit me hard seeing she Started loosing weight too. She'd became so thin. Fasting forward,as time went by, the fluid began to build up in her abdomen. She started leaking whenever she sat down or laid down. Every time she laid down I had to put a towel underneath her on the training pad to keep her dried. I stopped taking vacation since she became sick. The cardiologist told me dog with heart failure generally live 6 month to a year the most. It's been over a year that she's been diagnosed with CHF and I'm thankful each day I have her in my life. About 3 months ago, I began to see her getting weaker and weaker. Her eyes look sad. At night I can tell she was uncomfortable and she kept walking around because of the fluid built up in her abdomen which causes her pain. I can tell she was having hard time breathing. Some nights she kept moving her head in the upward direction looking for air. I called her vet and had her came in for the drain. The first time coming back home, she was a lot happier. She ate again and her energy came back. Three weeks later her abdomen was full of fluid again. Only this time it built up much more. We came back for the second drain, then the third. Soon after that, I had to take her in every 2 weeks, then every 1 week. At that moment I knew that day would come closer where she would have to leave me soon. I was selfish for wanted to keep her and denied the fact that she was in pain. Her vet had suggested that I should have her euthanized. I didn't listen. One day I started to see her having some weird movement like some sort of seizure. She started to sake every once in awhile. That night, I called the the emergency room and almost brought her in. At that moment I thought to myself if she suffered any longer because of me being selfish I could never forgive myself. The next morning I called the house service and her vet came to my house to have her uthanized.

Right after she left, I was in the denial stage can't accept that she was really gone. I know I made that decision for her good but I have so much guilt. I kept thinking why I didn't hold her a little longer. If I knew I would be this miserable why didn't I just stopped every thing I did on that day to just be with her.

Does anyone have to go through the similar situation like me or can someone share their experience?
Thank you in advance for your feedback.

[Katie1]

Try to remember the good times. Putting an animal down is Hard. I not going to say you will got over it ... IF that was true Why am I sitting here remembering ALL the ones I had to put down! Cause I not over it. Last one was 15 Years ago! Ok I guess I am no helping...

[Clark Fork Fantast]

Oh you poor dear. Yes, many of us have been through similar situations, and yes, I believe you did the right thing, and yes, it is quite normal to feel so guilty you almost can't breathe. But it is a dreadfully sad stage to have to go through, especially during the Holidays. I firmly believe that your girl understood and appreciated what you were able to do for her. You nursed her through a difficult year, and you probably bought her quality time way beyond what the vet had predicted, just by taking good care of her, and loving her. You've done everything you could for her, including putting an end to the pain and indignity. Now do something for yourself: Allow yourself to grieve, let the emotions flow, and try not to blame yourself. If anybody in your family or among your friends has loved and lost a pet, spend some time with them, or just talk with them on the phone; you probably won't have to explain anything, they'll understand. You'll hear them say that in time you'll remember all the lovely, sweet things about your girl and the pain will fade away, and that is true, but it doesn't help much right now. We deal with such losses in different ways; twice within the last 8 years I've lost a beloved dog, and what helped me was to sit down and write notes about the friend I'd lost, capturing as many happy moments as I could. That may be too overwhelming for you right now, but you may want to consider doing that at some point; you have a way with words.

And welcome to the forum; a sad occasion, to be sure, but hopefully being here on C-D may give you some kind of solace. And thanks for sharing a picture of your baby in your album. What a beautiful girl she was!

[Charles22]

All you need to know is that a good owner puts his dog down when it is time so that it doesn't suffer anymore.

[gouligann]

I'm so sorry (HUGS) You are not alone with your pain.

Any one of us who has had to put their beloved pet down knows your pain... and the guilt. No matter how sick your pet is, and you KNOW you are doing the right thing, the fact of being the one to have a vet end your pet's life plays hard on your mind with guilt. Waiting too long can also fill you with guilt. It's just a no win situation that we have to face with each beloved pet.

Not knowing how long to wait to make the final call is the worst. You just hope and pray that your pet will improve or just pass quietly away in his/her sleep, but when they are miserable and suffering then you have to make the decision and not wait.

You did the right thing for your dear pooch, Ngthoangyen. We all understand what you are going through. You need time to get over your loss. Time does heal, and often getting another pet helps (when you feel you are ready)

Unless she improves soon, I'll be facing this decision with our sweet little girl also.

[LoriNJ]

You did exactly the right thing. Your dog was suffering. That doesn't make it any easier to deal with, but over time, the good memories will take over, and you will have a sense that you ended her earthly suffering with the most loving intentions.

Your story matched my Bob's story very closely. Diagnosed with CHF, veterinary cardiologist said 5-6 months to live. Put on a cocktail of drugs which helped him a lot at first, but caused a lot of GI upset! He perked up and then gradually declined. But he lived 18 months, not 5-6, and I am grateful for that. Bob passed away 3 weeks after his best buddy died (his buddy was 16 and was having frequent seizures and had to be euthanized). If Bob had not passed away when he did, I would have taken him to the vet for euthanasia soon thereafter, as he had lost interest in eating and appeared to be having breathing issues again.

You took care of your girl. You got her help and extended her life significantly with good medical care. When the moment came that her suffering was too much, you took that last, painful, loving step to end her suffering.

Keep posting. It helps to talk about these feelings and talk to others who have been through the same thing.

I hope your beautiful girl's spirit inhabits another dog, so she can continue to bring joy to the world.

[Wartrace]

I am going to answer BEFORE I read your post. My answer is YES you did the right thing. Nobody puts their buddy to sleep for "fun". You noticed he/she was suffering and you put your animal's quality of life AHEAD of your feelings. It was the right thing to do. You know the animal better than anyone else; you decided its quality of life had reached the point of suffering.

I had the same feeling when I put down an old guy recently. He could have lived for a few more months or even longer. I looked at him (23 years old, blind, deaf and suffering from dementia) and said I wouldn't want to live were I in his shoes.

A few years ago I feel I waited TOO long to help a sweet girl leave when she was suffering from kidney failure. One day she just gave me that look like "come on idiot, can't you see"..... I should have done it a few months earlier and I will never forgive myself for putting my feelings ahead of that sweet dogs quality of life. I can only hope she forgives me when I meet her at the bridge.

[Ngthoangyen]

Thank you everyone for your kind respond. Today is day 6 I am without my boo. It was very sad to have to go through this during the Holidays. I get so used to see her around all the time, now nothing but emptiness although a lot of people around me. Every time I come home it's miserable knowing she's no longer there waiting for me. I'm still waiting to pick up her ashes. Once she's home I know I will feel a lot better.

[Notreadingabook]

So sorry for your loss. Putting a sick pet down is the final act of love. You did the right thing.

[SocalPitgal]

I recently made the choice to put down my dog, he was almost 15, had him since birth. You can read my post in the rainbow bridge forum, if you like. (I don't want to make this about my dog) First, I am so sorry for your loss. It has been 4 months for me. I still feel guilty and feel like I did it too soon. I still cry.

You didn't loose your dog, how can you loose anything so deeply embedded in your heart. You have gained an angel dog on your shoulder. Life will be hard while you learn to balance that angel. I still have not found balance. Some days he weighs more then others.

Will it get easier, well, I suppose it will, like with any grieving process. It took me 10 years before I could even talk about my mother without crying after her death. I still feel very empty without my canine companion. Hugs..