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It sounds as if your husband may have concerns related to getting a dog that go beyond those he's stated to you. He may not be able to articulate them, which is why he seized on the "what will we do with it when we travel?" excuse. As several other posters have said, perhaps the loss of your previous dog hit him harder than you know or that he's comfortable admitting. Perhaps if you continue to tell him, in a gentle and non-confrontational way and using specifics, how much it would mean to you to have another dog for a companion he'll relent. In situations such as this, I've found that addressing each concern--"we'll get a petsitter, I'll handle the arrangements, it won't interfere with our travel plans"--sometimes has the effect of pushing the person into a corner and making them even more adamant.
I have to wonder with the others here if perhaps the loss of your dog was very hard on your husband? I think alot of times men have a difficult time with loss and then decide they don't want to put their heart out there to be hurt again. Unlike women they tend not to talk about it so it takes a longer time to get over it.
My friend's husband was like that after the death of their spaniel. He did not want to get a new dog while she was interested in finding a Border Collie pup. Well her and her two young daughters drove down to to visit me and spent a few days. We were meeting another friend and her kids one day so called and she said they were on their way to go see some border collies puppies the pastor of her church had. Of course we had to go as my friend saw that as a sign. I mean here she is wanting a BC and of all the breeds out there this was type of litter our other friend was going to look at. Was that not a sign?
We met the puppies and fell in love with one. Later she called her husband and he repeated himself saying I really do not want another dog which then became " do what you think is right". She hung up and told me what he said so we both laughed and said , guess that puppy is going home with you! Her husband at first tried to ignore the puppy as he did not want his heart riped in half again if something were to happen to her. Hard to ignore a Border Collie and now 14 yrs later the day of heart break may not be too far away as age is taking its toll .She is really a great dog and I have a feeling he was glad his wife ignored him 14 yrs ago.
My dad use to always say no more dogs when we would loose one to death but there always were new dogs and within a few minutes of meeting them he would decided they would be a pretty nice dog so they always stayed. He was like that with other animals too
I have made it crystal clear to my husband that this is our last cat. She's my cat and I love her, but I am so over the litterbox, the fur, the hairballs, etc. So I tell him to enjoy the cat while she's here, because she's our last .
We also recently lost our male dog. We now have 2 female dogs. We kind of miss that male dog energy, and we definitely feel the loss . It was hard not running out to the pound and bringing home another dog. But we fought the urge because I just don't have the extra energy to spend right now. As weeks go by, the urge to add another dog lessens. If it happens later, that's fine, but I wanted us to fight the urge to run out and fill that empty space and I'm glad we did.
I would respect your husband's wishes for now. In time you can revisit the idea. Do some travelling and enjoy having no worries at home. Maybe in a year or so he'll feel differently .
Really good thoughts. I might carefully check if this was harder on him than I thought it was. He did do the feeding in the mornings so had a bond with her. We buried her in our woods.
I like the suggestion about saying that I woud make the arrangements,etc. All of these are really good ideas.
I'm hoping he will soften in the future. Also the suggestion about volunteering and then he would see how much I want one is excellent.
We just had three grandbabies in a row and they are small and I have joked I am willing to wait a bit until the girls get older so they won't be poking the dog.
I have had dogs and horses most of my life and just love the connections with them. He didn't grow up with a dog.
I just hope his heart will soften in the future since I can't imagine not ever having a dog again
I have made it crystal clear to my husband that this is our last cat. She's my cat and I love her, but I am so over the litterbox, the fur, the hairballs, etc. So I tell him to enjoy the cat while she's here, because she's our last .
We also recently lost our male dog. We now have 2 female dogs. We kind of miss that male dog energy, and we definitely feel the loss . It was hard not running out to the pound and bringing home another dog. But we fought the urge because I just don't have the extra energy to spend right now. As weeks go by, the urge to add another dog lessens. If it happens later, that's fine, but I wanted us to fight the urge to run out and fill that empty space and I'm glad we did.
I would respect your husband's wishes for now. In time you can revisit the idea. Do some travelling and enjoy having no worries at home. Maybe in a year or so he'll feel differently.
I bet those grandbabies can get him to change his mind about a puppy...
I wrote about my hubby saying he couldn't even think about losing our dog and being able to love another one. I know one thing though and that is he loves me and I usually get what I want .
I'm not saying that your husband will give in on the dog if he really loves you, rather I am saying that because of the love he has for you that he may give in on the dog.
I understand that strong bond between people and their dogs and horses (animals). You are right, if you didn't grow up with an animal, it may be hard to understand how deeply connected you can be to them. I believe through you he is learning this and may be amazed by how much a pet can fill your heart which is why I suggested he may be having a difficult time with the loss. It may be hard for him to accept that if those feelings bump up against the beliefs he had about companion animals before he had a dog. Good luck!
Saying a couple of prayers here for you guys. It's so hard to lose them, but the next one will worm it's way into your heart and the pain's not so bad.
Respect your husband, be a good wife, keep talking and communicating, and you'll work it out.
We lost our sweet Border Collie last summer. She was 14 which was a ripe old age for a big dog. She was about 80 pounds. We got her from an animal shelter and she was such a dear, sweet and loving dog. Our kids are all up and out of college so it was mostly me spending time with her.
When she died last summer my husband sort of anounced that we were not getting another dog. I was sort of hurt and surprised. I brought it up a few times and he insisted we are not getting another dog. He said it is too hard when we travel, which we really don't do much of now that we have grandchildren.
I miss having a pet to love. Plus we live back in a woods and I like knowing everything is all right at the house when I see the dog is sleeping and relaxed. It was nice when the meter man came and the dog notified me of that or when a car pulled in.
Have others struggled with one person wanting a pet and the other one not wanted one????
Does it have to be a dog? Maybe a guinea pig? My neighbor has one which I have taken care of when she travels and its a great little pet granted nothing like a dog but she knows me whistles and I let her walk around while watching her .
Maybe your husband wouldnt object to a small pet unless ofcourse your heart is set on a dog
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. It was hard not running out to the pound and bringing home another dog. But we fought the urge because I just don't have the extra energy to spend right now. As weeks go by, the urge to add another dog lessens. If it happens later, that's fine, but I wanted us to fight the urge to run out and fill that empty space and I'm glad we did.
He won't say no to the grandbabies...
