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WOW, N.I.L.I.F was an eye opener for me!!! It is going to be very hard for me to be so stern but reading what you have suggested is extremely helpful. I know that Rebel's behavior won't change if I don't change my behavior. It's just so hard and I love him so much but a mom's gotta do what a mom has to do. I just don't want to hurt his feelings but he is dog.
Thank you all so much!!!!
Rebel's mom.
Just a note: Using NILIF doesn't mean you have to be stern. You can still be loving and affectionate toward your dog, and you should be. You are just establishing boundaries for acceptable behavior. I know others may disagree with me on what I'm about to say, but dogs aren't human and they don't experience the same emotions as humans do. You won't hurt his feelings by setting limits for him. Dogs NEED to know where they stand in the social heirarchy, and they don't really care if they are at the top or the bottom as long as they know where they stand.
So, don't feel guilty or sad or think you're hurting his feelings or embarrassing him. You won't be. You will be giving him the guidance he needs to live as a happy member of the family he loves. Not much is better than that!
Don't feel bad about discipline. You wouldn't want your children (if you have them) running wild or other people taking advantage of you or behaving inappropriately right? Wouldn't you set a boundary with someone if they were yelling at you and threatening you? That's basically what he is doing when he growls - he's threatening you. Maybe thinking of it in that context will help you be firm. Otherwise he will assume the leadership roll and that's not the right roll for a family pet. Good luck - it's hard work being consistent whether it's with your pets or people .
It seems that labs and lab mixes may be very much that way... the way your described your dog.
More than any dog breed I've ever owned, you HAVE to set limits for them. Some of the stuff you described in your OP is stuff I'm dealing with right now with my 8 month old lab mix.
I'm simply amazed at how stubborn my dog is and how demanding.... and I've had dogs my whole life.
Nothing in life is free, huh??? Sounds like a plan.
When he growls, (which is really talking) he is just doing it to get the boyfriend off the couch, then he jumps up there with me.
No, it's not really talking, it is asserting his dominance and being rewarded with you and your bf's submission. Very very bad.
Quote:
Originally Posted by rebelsmom
You guys are exactly right that he needs to know I am the pack leader I am just having a tough time getting him there.
I think this is the classis "dog whisperer" episode. Over and over you see the same episode with different owners. Dogs misbehavior is really owners behavior that allows the behavior.
Your BF needs to step up. Our small inside dogs thought "growling" is just talking and they learned very quickly and consistently that is not tolerated. No animal growls at me or any other family member to get off the couch... EVER.
What's it going to take to get him there? A bite? A mauling? A child torn to pieces for being on the dog's couch? It's really serious although I am using sarcasm.
Thank you all again for your insight. I went home from work on Friday and when I walked in, I started MY new behavior. I did exactly like you all suggested and N.I.L.I.F and ignored him for the first 5-10 minutes as opposed to gushing over him like I normally do. The boyfriend was there and I am happy to say, Rebel did very well. I did give him good affection and am now making him sit or do something before he gets the attention he wants from me. Rebel also pulled the talking/growling routine to get my boyfriend off the couch and we once again ignored him and he went to lay down. I really thought I would be hurting Rebel feeling's b/c I do think he understands everything, but all is well. I am already seeing the changes in Rebel and I know that I will have to continue to teach correctly if I expect to be in charge.
Thank you all!!
Rebel's mom
Thank you all again for your insight. I went home from work on Friday and when I walked in, I started MY new behavior. I did exactly like you all suggested and N.I.L.I.F and ignored him for the first 5-10 minutes as opposed to gushing over him like I normally do. The boyfriend was there and I am happy to say, Rebel did very well. I did give him good affection and am now making him sit or do something before he gets the attention he wants from me. Rebel also pulled the talking/growling routine to get my boyfriend off the couch and we once again ignored him and he went to lay down. I really thought I would be hurting Rebel feeling's b/c I do think he understands everything, but all is well. I am already seeing the changes in Rebel and I know that I will have to continue to teach correctly if I expect to be in charge.
Thank you all!!
Rebel's mom
Nice job! It's good to hear that things are moving in a good direction with Rebel.
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