Problems With Spouse's Dog - Dogs - - Page 3 - City-Data Forum

3chidogs · 06-04-2009, 03:54 PM

Mrs1885.
It is always great to learn something new. I had always read and been told that thing about small house and big dogs. Nice to know that it can work out! And from the pic of you with your group on the bed, I guess you would be the expert! Your advice is so right on.

SXMGirl · 06-04-2009, 04:02 PM

The dog is the real loser here. He expects to be loved and well cared for, and your SO, while probably loving his dog, doesn't take care of him. That leaves it to you. Since you are not working, it appears that you will be the main provider for him. It will be your responsibility to provide care and love and that includes obedience training, playing with him and taking him for walks, trying to get the dog and your cats to get along, and also cleaning up. I agree that your apartment is too small for him, but there doesn't seem to be is any other choice. The dog is like the stepchild who is not loved by the step-parent. If you and your SO cannot work this out so that all of you are happy, maybe he isn't the person for you. Things have a tendency not to get better when there is this type of conflict. You will need to love this dog and your SO needs to take care of his dog and support you. It really should not be an option to get rid of the dog because he really isn't the problem. Believe me, you need to get this settled in a satisfactory manner because there will always be some type of problem and you need to be able to work through all problems.

barndog · 06-04-2009, 04:06 PM

miss crabcakes -- i'm so glad you didn't take offense, b/c i didn't mean any. and you do raise a darn good point. you are doing some really fantastic things right now, it sounds like, trying to make a dog you really don't like comfortable.

i guess i didn't phrase my question very well. i guess i am wondering what happens over the long haul. you don't sound like you would be very happy doing this on a continued basis...but the dog could live a LONG time. and a bigger house, which is what it sounded like you were saying would be the best solution, wouldn't really change anything.

i do think mrs1885 has good points about the training and exercise...and definitely about the cat aggressiveness. but again, you say you're already unhappy and resentful about the tasks you've already taken on...

it doesn't sound like you really are bonded to this dog enough, or like dogs in general enough, (and maybe that second part is an unfair statement?) to be a part of those processes. and you should be a part of those processes b/c a dog in a household doesn't really belong to just one person, he's a part of the family that everyone is responsible for (imho).

i think what i am trying to ask, and taking awhile to get to! (sorry!) is: bottom-line, would you be happier if the dog was just gone? and is that fair? and what does that mean for your relationship if something else happens that you don't like? would it be your way or the highway?

and that is not negating what you are doing right now for the dog...because i highly applaud you for being kind to an animal that, at heart, you really don't like!

good luck! i know it is difficult in these cases, and i really do wish you the best!

Blondie621 · 06-04-2009, 06:34 PM

Do not blame it on the dog! It is never the dogs fault. What choice does that poor dog have? Do you think he really wants to live in a 500 sf apt.? Your s.o needs to find a bigger place. I hope this dog does not end up in a shelter. Your s.o needs to be more of a responsible pet owner! Sorry if I am being offensive but this is exactly how dogs end up being turned away to shelters!