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It's definitely displaced anger that should be directed at your husband. And you need to develop a spine. He insisted you adopt a dog you didn't want, he showed no interest in your opinion, and he was clearly inconsiderate of your time when he made you do everything for the dog. You both need help, preferably marriage counseling, so you can keep this marriage toegther. Today the dog, tomorrow what? Move across the country? Have a child you're not ready for? Quit his job? All these things take compromise, which he doesn't seem to know how to do. Good luck and please don't take it out on this poor dog.
Well, I have talked to him about it since then and he knows where I stand. He says he'll help but he will "forget" to let Chase out when it's been hours since he's gone outside last (this is when I get home from work, he gets home a lot earlier than I do). I talked to him today about getting Chase a playmate that's as young as he is, and he thinks we should, and he promised he'll step up the responsibilities.
We get along very well other than the dog issue. We both don't want children, and we're both homebodies so moving across the country on a whim is not an issue. He does a lot of housework and he takes care of me and is very sweet, he does all the maintenance on my car and even my friend's cars. We just butt heads w/ these animals and he knows it. I don't want this to completely be about my husband and how much of a butt he is, because he's not.
Location: Montreal -> CT -> MA -> Montreal -> Ottawa
17,330 posts, read 33,134,765 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by beatlecrazy
When it snowed here last weekend, I took out a frisbee and went out to play with him but he hated the snow, just kinda laid there in it lol. So I shoveled out a little maze for him and tried to throw the frisbee, but right as I was about to throw it, my husband wanted me to come in for lunch
I will try more and more!!
This? What you said here? This speaks volumes. This is PROOF that you're NOT a bad person. This is PROOF that you're trying. This is PROOF that you want it to work. And, all this combined, means that it WILL work.
Keep doing what you're doing. You're going to get there. Mark my words.
Thanks DandJ! Tonight I plan on introducing him to our neighbor's Great Dane. He plays with this dog through the fence, they bark at each other and run like mad the length of the fence. Now they just have to meet dog to dog! Thanks again!
Location: Montreal -> CT -> MA -> Montreal -> Ottawa
17,330 posts, read 33,134,765 times
Reputation: 28904
Quote:
Originally Posted by beatlecrazy
Thanks DandJ! Tonight I plan on introducing him to our neighbor's Great Dane. He plays with this dog through the fence, they bark at each other and run like mad the length of the fence. Now they just have to meet dog to dog! Thanks again!
See how good you are to Chase? He's going to be that good to you in return. I can't wait for you to come back here and say what a lovefest you two have been having.
Hello everyone!
I found a picture of Chase that we took when we were at the Adoption event. It was a while ago and he looks real thin because at the time he had kennel cough and was on medicine that made him have no appetite.
He is very iffy about the food he eats and will only eat food that has moist bits in it lol so he's still a thin dog. But here ya go!
and one of our cats for the heck of it, hope no one minds. Chase picks on 'em and they're so timid about it but one day they'll swipe. They are not all that much smaller than him now though LOL
No, not a bad person.
If you don't feel bonded to the dog in a deep way, maybe consider viewing him as an honored guest in your house, and one whose life was saved and is flourishing because of your adoption.
I took a beagle/basset from a co-worker, and the dog had been in lots of places. He's the only dog who could make me angry. If my other dogs act up or do something "bad," I feel like it's my doing, poor training, too many dogs, etc. But the beagle... what a pill he was to live with. So I decided to view him as, he's here, he doesn't have a home and wouldn't get one, and just accept him.
In my experience, you do come to love any critter you take care of. The depth of the attachment varies, of course.
I had Snoops for two years. He continued to be a pill to live with (knocking dishes out of my hand, baying, opening cabinets, stealing food, head in refrigerator... sometimes I'd even put him in his crate just so I could eat in peace!) But he came to want to sit next to me, put his silky head on my lap, and just curl up (after he finished raising hell) and then he began going under the covers and sleeping on my feet.
He had a heart attack while kenneled (very unusual) and I lost him at age 10 (?) after two years. As one friend said, "You gave him a lovely retirement." I've had better and more gratifying one-to-one relationships with other adoptees but giving him a home did turn out to be a good thing for both of us.
I wouldn't take another hound, I don't think. But each mutt I adopt sort of expands my "type." I just have a head start with border collie/cattle dog type herding mutts (although seem to have several shepherd mixes right now). I do think you come to love that which you care for, even if you'd have a head start or closer relation with another kind of dog. Just remember he's not doing it to tick you off, even if it seems that way!
I think you are very brave to admit your feelings here. I agree that you are definitely trying very hard to love your new dog, don't feel guilty. You said something earlier though, "When it snowed here last weekend, I took out a frisbee and went out to play with him but he hated the snow, just kinda laid there in it lol. So I shoveled out a little maze for him and tried to throw the frisbee, but right as I was about to throw it, my husband wanted me to come in for lunch", which made me pause. You are trying very hard to love and care for this dog, but is your dh also helping with him? Playing with him? It wouldn't be fair otherwise, and it could help explain some resentment you might be feeling. I'd be hesitant about getting another dog until your dh really did step in and help more, because you might end up doing even more work. You said he'd "promised" to, hold him to it!! Just a thought, good luck. I'm sure it will all work out!
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he loves affection! I'm too dumb to give it to him most of the time...urrr.
