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Low paying job: A job that pays less than $10 per hour.
Dead end job: A job that lacks a feasible advancement path
Low paying is relative to the local market. We all know that $20K in PHX (Phoenix) is if not equal, higher than $45K in NYC (New York City) just based on cost of living. $10 in low COL areas is fine, this is why I somewhat I agree with Seattle's $15 minimum wage because it is a somewhat high COL area. Case in point, the oil boom in Willington, ND. We hear about $15 an hour in Walmart, McDonald's but yet you also hear of the lack of housing so apartment, trailer parks, hotels, etc. are pricing themselves out.
Yeah, just like how there was never a hard age for when people retire (counter example, vast majority of Americans did NOT retire by say... age 60), even though the law gives an 18yo the option to move out, be on his own, and losing other benefits (like not being on a parents' insurance; if he does something illegal, him, not his parents are accountable now), some kids just aren't ready to be on their own at 18. I've met several folks who stayed at home and didn't get their own place till they were 25.
I always thought "not being ready" was such a lame excuse not to move out of the house. You've been living there for 18 years, how ready do you have to be? I am not saying someone should move out the moment they turn 18 for various reasons, but "not being ready" should never be an excuse and it's definitely no excuse to live at home until you are 25 (especially if you have no direction). The apron strings should have been cut long before that.
The bad economy aside, this really is the case a lot of the time. There are some states where people have a very blind loyalty and moving out of them is a major taboo. I lived in Montana and it was like this, even though quite a few of my classmates did have the sense to move since there were no jobs there.
I used to live in a place like this in WI too, it sucked. Lots of kids I knew got good scholarship offers from well known state schools in the surrounding states (medium distance away) but turned them down to attend expensive mediocre no-name private schools closer to home.
Sure, it's nice to see your kindergarten friends everyday, but financial practicality needs to be taken into account.
I used to live in a place like this in WI too, it sucked. Lots of kids I knew got good scholarship offers from well known state schools in the surrounding states (medium distance away) but turned them down to attend expensive mediocre no-name private schools closer to home.
Sure, it's nice to see your kindergarten friends everyday, but financial practicality needs to be taken into account.
In Montana you are a bad guy for wanting financial practicality. The state is romanticized way too much.
Half the problem is kids these days don't want to move.
You have to go where the jobs are.
Couldn't agree with you more on that.
I'll admit it took me until I was 28 to finally get out and stay away from my parents places.
Now, despite all the BS I have to put up with elsewhere, I do whatever I have to in order to make sure I don't end up back over there.
Banking money, getting different job certifications, looking at small houses to buy and rent out., etc
If anyone had parents like I did, getting away and keeping contact to a minimum is a reward within itself.
My elderly mom now lives in a house I own in an age restricted community (my father passed away 40 years ago). Should I charge her rent?
Not unless you Need it. I think there is a big difference between helping a elderly parent that raised and supported you and a young adult who never has contributed anything to their parents household and not only is living rent free, but not paying for utilities food, toilet paper. I believe they should contribute something and if they have NO job then the adult children should do house work and cooking daily to contribute. That's just my opinion. If it is not a hardship for you and your mom raised you then I think its great that you are in a position to be there for her now.
I always thought "not being ready" was such a lame excuse not to move out of the house. You've been living there for 18 years, how ready do you have to be? I am not saying someone should move out the moment they turn 18 for various reasons, but "not being ready" should never be an excuse and it's definitely no excuse to live at home until you are 25 (especially if you have no direction). The apron strings should have been cut long before that.
I can only surmise that it's different for everyone. Somebody may not have a job lined up yet right after graduating college (not uncommon I hear today, as some figures state 25% to 50% of recent college grads today are "employed enough", as in doing something other than MW to pay off loans, living expenses, and save enough for an emergency fund). A family member of a friend lived at home with his parents for 8 years despite having full time employment and being able to afford his own place. Say what you will of this arrangement, as by living together and being frugal, he saved roughly $400K of money this way. This $400K that's available straight up. It's not some retirement fund that he has to wait till he's 60, or be penalized and taxed by withdrawing early, or where he has to sell his house first for the funds. It's cold hard cash.
It's the same deal with marriage and kids. Not everyone gets married at 18 or 22, or 33, or some figure defined by the law. Not everyone has kids at the same time too. Not everyone buys a house by some set age either. I don't think moving out is that much different.
I can only surmise that it's different for everyone. Somebody may not have a job lined up yet right after graduating college (not uncommon I hear today, as some figures state 25% to 50% of recent college grads today are "employed enough", as in doing something other than MW to pay off loans, living expenses, and save enough for an emergency fund). A family member of a friend lived at home with his parents for 8 years despite having full time employment and being able to afford his own place. Say what you will of this arrangement, as by living together and being frugal, he saved roughly $400K of money this way. This $400K that's available straight up. It's not some retirement fund that he has to wait till he's 60, or be penalized and taxed by withdrawing early, or where he has to sell his house first for the funds. It's cold hard cash.
It's the same deal with marriage and kids. Not everyone gets married at 18 or 22, or 33, or some figure defined by the law. Not everyone has kids at the same time too. Not everyone buys a house by some set age either. I don't think moving out is that much different.
Your interesting actual case is a good illustration of the dangers of generalizations, as you so correctly point out. It is possible to deplore the "failure to launch" syndrome and its concomitant enabling by parents while at the same time recognizing that there is nothing wrong with adult children continuing to live at home in situations where the arrangement is mutually beneficial and mutually agreeable.
I would argue that a parent supporting a neer-do-well moocher who is not contributing anything is not mutually beneficial even if both parties claim it is.
One of my cousins was laid off from his high paying job in 2008. He moved back in with his mother and has been there ever since. His mother is supporting him and he won't go out and find a job. He is well educated (BS is Computer Science) and is now almost 50 years old.
One of my cousins was laid off from his high paying job in 2008. He moved back in with his mother and has been there ever since. His mother is supporting him and he won't go out and find a job. He is well educated (BS is Computer Science) and is now almost 50 years old.
Is there any hope for this "boomerang man"?
Maybe...probably not, and truth be known, Mum cannot be satisfied or proud of this...man (and I use that term loosely). This is unconscionable in my view and unless he is disabled or mentally ill...no free pass for him, and not trying to be judgmental, just my pov in this case.
After eight years of living back at home with 'dear old mom', I'm going to go out on a limb here and guess that if mom needs to start wearing diapers and can't get around as well as she used to...i.e., needs some considerable assistance in living her life with a modicum of decency; Sonny Boy might have the incentive to find a job and get out on his own. Then again...maybe not, maybe with his mindset it will just be alright to allow mom to...do the best she can.
I certainly do not equate his situation with that of our various 'Millennial' children, I can't say all of them but I will say A LOT of them are doing the very, very best they can under the current circumstances they find themselves in. And I for one will not participate in denigrating the entire lot of them, in my experience I just don't see it!
I dunno', I got nothing else for ya' on this one.
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I think there is a big difference between helping a elderly parent that raised and supported you and a young adult who never has contributed anything to their parents household and not only is living rent free, but not paying for utilities food, toilet paper. I believe they should contribute something and if they have NO job then the adult children should do house work and cooking daily to contribute. That's just my opinion. If it is not a hardship for you and your mom raised you then I think its great that you are in a position to be there for her now. 
