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The rest of the world has multigenerational households.
It used to be the same here.
I am not freaking out about this.
I see this as a blessing in disguise. Maybe, just maybe, the parents might pay a little more attention to these kids than when they were growing up and raised by the streets, the schools, the television and internet.
I see this as a blessing in disguise. Maybe, just maybe, the parents might pay a little more attention to these kids than when they were growing up and raised by the streets, the schools, the television and internet.
Now that the children are adults, exactly how would they benefit from increased parental attention? Would the adult children be open to learning anything from their parents? Would the formerly neglectful parents have anything to teach their adult children at this point?
Now that the children are adults, exactly how would they benefit from increased parental attention? Would the adult children be open to learning anything from their parents? Would the formerly neglectful parents have anything to teach their adult children at this point?
I don't see any blessing, disguised or not.
I don't know about "neglectful" parents, but it happens pretty frequently, as noted long ago by Mark Twain:
"When I was 14 I thought my Father was the dumbest person alive. But by the time I reached 30, I couldn't believe how much smarter he had become".
Hanging around 'til 30 gives a child a chance to see that his parents might be kinda smart.
I still have "my mother told me about this" moments, and I'm in my 60s.
I'm thinking I'll build a cottage (like a larger tiny home but with running water and plumbing ) in my back yard. Kids could live there , and perhaps maybe we can swap when we get older. Either way I will collect rent but probably just put it towards a fund of theirs to be spent wisely. By the way I'm talking about like in their 20s post graduate kind of thing, not mid late 30s, 40s 50s.
I am wondering why the young lady in this article (from the OP) doesn't know what she wants to do for a living AFTER graduating college. I would have thought that she might have thought about that BEFORE selecting a major... maybe researched the number of jobs in various fields that would be needed in the future...looked at what would be the most cost-effective way to obtain the necessary degree/certifications required for that field. Isn't this what high school counselors are for? Do these colleges have any enrollment counselors helping kids pick out majors and classes? Do people really just run up a big student debt just taking anything they feel like studying without regard to marketability of their new found skills?
Seriously failure to plan is planning to fail. Just because you can get into a college right out of high school doesn't mean that you should. Many people in my era (70's to 80's) graduated high school and spent a few years living in an apartment with a roommate or two working at various low wage jobs while we figured out what the heck we wanted to do with ourselves and how the heck we were going to be able to afford it. At the very least we figured out what we DIDN'T want to do, and what the alternatives were. Easy to obtain student loans were pretty much non-existent. They wouldn't loan you money for an education to get a better job unless you already had a job to be able to pay it back, so it was a catch-22.
I am wondering why the young lady in this article (from the OP) doesn't know what she wants to do for a living AFTER graduating college. I would have thought that she might have thought about that BEFORE selecting a major... maybe researched the number of jobs in various fields that would be needed in the future...looked at what would be the most cost-effective way to obtain the necessary degree/certifications required for that field. Isn't this what high school counselors are for? Do these colleges have any enrollment counselors helping kids pick out majors and classes? Do people really just run up a big student debt just taking anything they feel like studying without regard to marketability of their new found skills?
Seriously failure to plan is planning to fail. Just because you can get into a college right out of high school doesn't mean that you should. Many people in my era (70's to 80's) graduated high school and spent a few years living in an apartment with a roommate or two working at various low wage jobs while we figured out what the heck we wanted to do with ourselves and how the heck we were going to be able to afford it. At the very least we figured out what we DIDN'T want to do, and what the alternatives were. Easy to obtain student loans were pretty much non-existent. They wouldn't loan you money for an education to get a better job unless you already had a job to be able to pay it back, so it was a catch-22.
I see the problem as different depending on the case. These following cases are ones that are plausible:
If she is an older millennial (so born between 1980 and about 1989) they went to school for skills in demand at the time with no "the sky is falling, major in STEM" warnings we heard in 2010. They learned what they wanted to because at the time it worked. Now the jobs don't exist so don't blame them. They got sideswiped by a red-lighter known as the economy.
If the person was born after 1990, they SHOULD have listened to advice saying major in something marketable like the politicians calling for more STEM majors. HOWEVER as I've read on the forums (as I am an older millennial) schools are still saying major in anything so unless they listen to politicians and parents are directing them to in demand majors, they are likely SOL just like case one. BUT unlike case one, they SHOULD have known better.
As for colleges,my experience is as a freshman at a state university, and a transfer student from a community college to another state university. The first university while I was in a freshman dorm and they went through a bit of help to get your feet wet, it was pretty much like the first episode of Boy Meets World when Cory was in the bad classes and there was little help if you had issues. My freshman adviser and his student assistant flat-out sucked when I needed them. It was a reason I left the school and was on accedmic probation my first semester (though it was also my own fault.)
Compare that to the community college, the community college advisement and job center were as bad. Advisement was seen for enrolling, changing, dropping courses as well as getting full-time status notices for healthcare plan purposes. The job center was bad only because it wasn't promoted enough on campus. It was a good service but if you didn't know about it, you easily missed it.
The second state university I went to was better but I wasn't as knowledgeable as I came in as a junior-level transfer student rather than a wide-eyed freshman that has gateway center (freshman level core-level counseling) beat in their heads.
This. The Boomers are showing how egotistical and out of touch they are once more by acting as if it was normal for the kid to move out, have a house, be married, and have a nice job at 18.
My maternal grandparents (who were legal immigrants who came to the US after WWI) had three children. Those three members of the so-called "greatest generation" all left home fairly young, one at age 18 to join the service during WWII, one at age 21 for marriage, one went to college and never moved back to the home. From the time my grandparents were in their mid-forties, they never had any relatives living in their home.
Those three children (my mother and her sibs) had among them 10 children who all qualify as baby boomers. Not one of those 10 boomers still lived at home by the time they were 22-year-old college grads; the ones who didn't go to college all left home immediately after graduating high school. Those 10 have dispersed all over the country, from Washington State to Florida, but I keep in touch with them as they are my sibs and cousins.
Of those 10 baby boomers, 2 had no children. The remaining 8 have 16 offspring total. Five of them are still students under the age of 21, so they are still reasonably living at home. Of the 11 who are adults (I guess they count as Generation X?) ALL have boomeranged at one time or another. ALL 11. Some of these 11 adult children seem to have permanently settled in their parents' home. Some of my boomer sibs and cousins currently have grandchildren who are also living with them.
What I conclude from this is not that boomers are "egotistical and out of touch" (whether you meant that seriously or sarcastically). But rather they did not do a good job at teaching their children to be self-sufficient. I hold out hope for the 5 who are not yet 21 (they are all doing well in school). But some of the boomerangs graduated from college. It's not their education that seems to be holding them back from building independent lives.
My maternal grandparents (who were legal immigrants who came to the US after WWI) had three children. Those three members of the so-called "greatest generation" all left home fairly young, one at age 18 to join the service during WWII, one at age 21 for marriage, one went to college and never moved back to the home. From the time my grandparents were in their mid-forties, they never had any relatives living in their home.
Those three children (my mother and her sibs) had among them 10 children who all qualify as baby boomers. Not one of those 10 boomers still lived at home by the time they were 22-year-old college grads; the ones who didn't go to college all left home immediately after graduating high school. Those 10 have dispersed all over the country, from Washington State to Florida, but I keep in touch with them as they are my sibs and cousins.
Of those 10 baby boomers, 2 had no children. The remaining 8 have 16 offspring total. Five of them are still students under the age of 21, so they are still reasonably living at home. Of the 11 who are adults (I guess they count as Generation X?) ALL have boomeranged at one time or another. ALL 11. Some of these 11 adult children seem to have permanently settled in their parents' home. Some of my boomer sibs and cousins currently have grandchildren who are also living with them.
What I conclude from this is not that boomers are "egotistical and out of touch" (whether you meant that seriously or sarcastically). But rather they did not do a good job at teaching their children to be self-sufficient. I hold out hope for the 5 who are not yet 21 (they are all doing well in school). But some of the boomerangs graduated from college. It's not their education that seems to be holding them back from building independent lives.
I would say it's not that their parents didn't teach them to be self sufficient. It's that they didn't actively enable their kids to acquire the tools to be self sufficient. Mostly these kids do not possess trade skills, foreign language skills, and the ambitions.
My daughter and her husband are self-sufficient, both working and raising two children, it's her dad (my ex) who boomeranged after getting laid off and is renting a bedroom from her.
If the person was born after 1990, they SHOULD have listened to advice saying major in something marketable like the politicians calling for more STEM majors. HOWEVER as I've read on the forums (as I am an older millennial) schools are still saying major in anything so unless they listen to politicians and parents are directing them to in demand majors, they are likely SOL just like case one. BUT unlike case one, they SHOULD have known better.
An 18-year-old listening to politicians and parents instead of friends and favorite teachers? Surely you left off the winking emoticon.
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