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OK, then, when I'm reborn I'll go to college. OR, in this life I'll be a bitter old man lost in regrets of lost loves and opportunities never taken. The first is, well.....The second isn't something I want to be. Just as the rest of my life has been, I have to see where I'll go from here. For you my life might be seen as failure - for me, not at all. My brother in law dropped dead last year after amassing a huge amount of money. Though he owned a large company, he hated every day of it, so I guess there are different definitions of failure.
Number one, you won’t be reborn, now or ever. And that is why regret is a good thing. It helps us to learn from mistakes or failures in the one and only life we know we have. It is recognition that we have failed ourselves. And spurs us on not to repeat mistakes we made due to poor character, not learning enough, taking an easy road when a harder road would have been correct.
Regret is to be used, not denied. It exists for a good reason, and reflects your appraisal of your own reality. So if you experience it, use it, don’t run from it. Everyone has regrets they can learn from. Claiming to have none is a failure of introspection. Failing to act on them is a failure of character.
My dog is 12 now. I'm in this house just because he's welcome here. Once he passes I won't continue to rent this place. and won't be getting a new animal, since I don't like the idea of a dog outliving me. Actually, I'm seriously hoping that I won't go beyond 70, myself.
I really do dread getting any kind of assistance. My job is in social services and getting on that gravy train will be a last resort. I've been self sufficient since I left home a week after my 17th birthday. It's a point of pride that I've never taken a dime from anyone - never even shared living expenses with a spouse and, apart from the house I used to own, have paid cash for everything. My sister, who's a multi millionaire offered to buy me a house, but I couldn't bring myself to accept her offer. That's how averse I am to being dependent.
kudos to you for saving $45K,many do not even have $400 !
take up your sister's offer,I know a guy in CA whose sister paid for a million dollar home ,he and his wife now have a decent place to live and they are also using it as a religious gathering place.
question-it takes money to maintain a multi million dollar home,can you afford it?
It is recognition that we have failed ourselves. And spurs us on not to repeat mistakes we made due to poor character, not learning enough, taking an easy road when a harder road would have been correct.
nah, I have worked since I was 16 (14 if you count a paper route). Apart from the house I owned I've paid cash for everything, paid for every fork of food that's gone in my mouth since I left home right after my seventeenth birthday. The taxes I've paid have paid for other kids schools,,because I have none of my own, the police, who I've never called, a bazillion people who've never worked. The insurances I've paid have paid for other people's car wrecks, because I've never had one, other people's medical care because I haven't been to a doctor in 20 years, and that was just for a physical. If I find myself needing help in the last years of life, I feel no guilt, though actually I don't believe I will. Every man's work makes up the society we have, not just the work that generates big income.
Believe it or not, friends I have who have traditional success, like my best friend who is a private pilot, making 10 grand to fly a round trip, say they envy my stress free life. And, no it hasn't been the easy route. I've done my best at every job I've had and never been fired. The easy route would have been going to college and selling insurance until I got stomach ulcers. So, we'll just have to agree to disagree on the definition of failure. You wouldn't want my life, nor I yours.
nah, I have worked since I was 16 (14 if you count a paper route). Apart from the house I owned I've paid cash for everything, paid for every fork of food that's gone in my mouth since I left home right after my seventeenth birthday. The taxes I've paid have paid for other kids schools,,because I have none of my own, the police, who I've never called, a bazillion people who've never worked. The insurances I've paid have paid for other people's car wrecks, because I've never had one, other people's medical care because I haven't been to a doctor in 20 years, and that was just for a physical. If I find myself needing help in the last years of life, I feel no guilt, though actually I don't believe I will. Every man's work makes up the society we have, not just the work that generates big income.
Believe it or not, friends I have who have traditional success, like my best friend who is a private pilot, making 10 grand to fly a round trip, say they envy my stress free life. And, no it hasn't been the easy route. I've done my best at every job I've had and never been fired. The easy route would have been going to college and selling insurance until I got stomach ulcers. So, we'll just have to agree to disagree on the definition of failure. You wouldn't want my life, nor I yours.
Just don't worry about it.
Life is not a competition.
For whatever reason, some people feel better about their lives when they compare with others. Like there's people here who say ... 'I LOVE my job, and I make great money.' And not only that, but they always make it a point to tell people how much money they make, what their pension is, and how much they absolutely loved their job.
That's nothing but a mentality. Even if I got to do what I wanted for a living (music), I'd still regret it because I wouldn't be making a lot of money. But mostly because of the instability. Other reasons too, but it'd certainly beat what I was doing now.
Not that I make a lot now, but it's decent for me.
There's no need to justify that your life was any better or worse than the next guy.
Just have to make the best of it while you're alive. And you sound like you've done that.
Many people don't make it to 65 by a long shot.
Believe it or not, there's a lot of people who believe that life is made of winners and losers. Block it out.
nah, I have worked since I was 16 (14 if you count a paper route). Apart from the house I owned I've paid cash for everything, paid for every fork of food that's gone in my mouth since I left home right after my seventeenth birthday. The taxes I've paid have paid for other kids schools,,because I have none of my own, the police, who I've never called, a bazillion people who've never worked. The insurances I've paid have paid for other people's car wrecks, because I've never had one, other people's medical care because I haven't been to a doctor in 20 years, and that was just for a physical. If I find myself needing help in the last years of life, I feel no guilt, though actually I don't believe I will. Every man's work makes up the society we have, not just the work that generates big income.
Believe it or not, friends I have who have traditional success, like my best friend who is a private pilot, making 10 grand to fly a round trip, say they envy my stress free life. And, no it hasn't been the easy route. I've done my best at every job I've had and never been fired. The easy route would have been going to college and selling insurance until I got stomach ulcers. So, we'll just have to agree to disagree on the definition of failure. You wouldn't want my life, nor I yours.
Just a quick note to say that I admire you. You certainly didn't live life by a script and I bet you have a bunch of great stories. (I'm interested in the one you mentioned about working for a billionaire.) After all you've gone through, you're battle tested. You're likely to make it through anything- and with less.
Your thread is actually the kind of subject matter that I come back to this forum for. Makes for interesting reading.
My sister, who's a multi millionaire offered to buy me a house, but I couldn't bring myself to accept her offer. That's how averse I am to being dependent.
Yet you don't mind being dependent on hardworking taxpayers and accepting money from them as well as taking a slot on HUD housing that someone without a multi millionaire sister could use? Accept her offer...
It’s not pointless. It’s emotional recognition of personal failure that can help prevent the repetition of mistakes. Wallowing in it would be pointless, but learning from it would not. Regret is a valid form of introspection and self evaluation.
Sounds to me like he doesn't have regrets if he doesn't see the "point" in them. The point is not the point; if you feel you did something wrong or made a mistake, you simply have them, "pointless" or not. If you don't, you don't.
(I'm interested in the one you mentioned about working for a billionaire.)
You would recognize the family name. The products they produce (actually used to produce, because it's part of Black and Decker now) are in every Loews and Home Depot. I worked for one of the brothers who didn't drive, so it was kind of a personal assistant thing - booking travel and accompanying him on trips (in the family jet, and he always gave me the same level of suite as he got), driving, dealing with contractors etc. An awesome family and I was with them for 11 years. They paid me very well too. I spent the last 3 days at the hospital with him as he is on his way out. Although I left, by my choosing on good terms, I will always be grateful for the fairness that they treated me with.
I used to think moving to Mexico or Panama would be a solution, but that doesn't appeal to me much anymore.
Aside from COVID, why not?
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