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You're mistaken. The only children who have legal rights in school are diagnosed special needs children. The rest of the children have no legal rights whatsoever.
And that is very sad b/c you know what? If my child were causing problems b/c of his ADHD, I'd remove him myself b/c it isn't fair to the "normal" kids. I did a 504 plan this year only b/c he starts EOG testing and since he's never had to take a test that long, we want it in place in case he needs it. But since he is on medication, we don't think it will be necessary b/c he's been very successful on the medicine. Do we like having to give it to him? Absolutely not. But if we didn't, he wouldn't be learning a thing and would be constantly in trouble. We don't want that for our child when we know there is a solution to help him. We want him to continue to be at the top of his grade, do great in sports and have plenty of friends. He feels better about himself when he takes it which makes him a happier child. I'll never understand parents who refuse to help their children when help available and then blame everyone but themselves and their child for the problems. It's not fair to expect everyone else to suffer b/c you don't want your kid to be treated differently. Unfortunately, not everyone is equal and life sucks but you shouldn't punish a whole class of kids so your child gets what you want them to have.
I don't at all disagree with your overall point, but how do you determine if a child should or should not be in a regular classroom when he's only FIVE?
You have to see how he functions. It doesn't take that long to see a child who shouldn't be mainstreamed. If you have ever been in a classroom with a child who was mainstreamed and should not have been it only takes about 5 minutes to figure it out. In reality, it might take a whole school year to get proper documentation, but you CAN tell that these kids don't belong very quickly.
Please note, I am not talking about all ESE kids. The ones that don't belong in a regular classroom are very few. In a school of a thousand kids you might have 5.
Yes it is your fault. ADHD is treatable with medication and if you choose not to use it and the child still exhibits the really bad behaviors and bothers other kids in class, they need to be in the special needs class or private school so that the other children can learn. I have a son with ADHD so I know what I'm talking about. In no way was the teacher in this situation right, but people cannot continue to blame teachers when their children get into trouble b/c they refuse to handle behavioral issues themselves. It's very easy to pass the buck but if you choose public schools you have to understand that ALL the children are there to learn and not just yours. If your child is keeping the majority of the kids from learning, then he/she needs to be removed. That's life and yes, it is fair. Maybe not to your kid but to the majority who also have rights.
Well maybe you feel good about medicating your child cause you can't handle the ADHD, but I choose not to medicate mine because ADHD is a disorder that can be managed without drugs. And I guess unlike you myself and this childs mother choose not to incapacitate our children so they walk around like a zombie. Too many doctors and too many parents are medicating thier children because it is easier than dealing with it, and that is wrong. You chose to have kids deal with it the right way. And if this teacher does not have the patience to deal with children apparently she chose the wrong proffession. The child was not disruppting the class, he was being a child. And for the teacher to have the kids make a list of why they don't like this poor boy, she should be fired and restricted from working with kids. As a teacher it IS your responsibility to teach, whether it be to teach kids to behave or to teach lessons, either way thats why you are called a teacher. Maybe where you are from they seperate the children in classrooms, but here they keep them mainstream and provide them with the extra assistance they need in that classroom so the children don't feel like they are not as good as the other children or like they are not as smart. That is exactly why the kids in those "special" classes get picked on, and if you again want that for your son, thats you but most parents dont.
Well maybe you feel good about medicating your child cause you can't handle the ADHD, but I choose not to medicate mine because ADHD is a disorder that can be managed without drugs. And I guess unlike you myself and this childs mother choose not to incapacitate our children so they walk around like a zombie.
I don't know you. I don't know her.
I know that for some kids, ADHD cannot be managed without medication. I dislike unnecessary medication, misdiagnosis, and over-diagnosis - it angers me a lot. But I know kids who barely survive without the meds, but thrive with them.
And the "zombie" description may fit some kids on their meds, but it is so far from universal that to spread the stereotype is totally inappropriate.
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Originally Posted by flmom28
Maybe where you are from they seperate the children in classrooms, but here they keep them mainstream and provide them with the extra assistance they need in that classroom so the children don't feel like they are not as good as the other children or like they are not as smart. That is exactly why the kids in those "special" classes get picked on, and if you again want that for your son, thats you but most parents dont.
*sigh*
No, that is not "exactly why the kids in those "special" classes get picked on."
That's a lousy excuse for bullying, scapegoating, or otherwise picking on kids. Yes, differences often lead to mockery - but it is ANY difference that can lead to that. The classes are just an excuse.
No, that is not "exactly why the kids in those "special" classes get picked on."
That's a lousy excuse for bullying, scapegoating, or otherwise picking on kids. Yes, differences often lead to mockery - but it is ANY difference that can lead to that. The classes are just an excuse.
I wish it were otherwise.
Ok so is it safe to say that maybe this poor kid got picked on by the other kids and the teacher because he is "different"?
And you are correct some kids do need to be treated with meds, but how many kids are on meds for their parents benefit more than their own. My son only had problems in Kindergarten just like this boy, he has an IEP and is mainstream with all the other kids and gets straight A's without meds.
Ok so is it safe to say that maybe this poor kid got picked on by the other kids and the teacher because he is "different"?
Sure that'd be pretty safe, more than likely the teacher got annoyed or didn't believe in ADHD and the other kids got a kick out of watching the child "blow" as they did with my son.
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And you are correct some kids do need to be treated with meds, but how many kids are on meds for their parents benefit more than their own.
Unfortunately what I see most often is the parents that are in denial or are afraid that their little johnny will be seen as not perfect so they close their eyes and let little johnny run amok. As for being on the meds for the parents benefit sometimes you're right, calm little johnny down so he's not climbing the walls, setting the cat on fire or beating holes in your walls. Yep it's partly for the parents sanity, you betcha!
I'm glad that you can control your child without meds (for now) how lucky for you but if what I've seen is any indicator get ready for self medication eventually be it smoking,drinking or drugs, usually starts somewhere in the teen years.
I hate that my son has to be on meds but unfortunately society will not bend to how he operates so he has to bend to it and without meds that's just not possible. Now when he's out of school and on his own maybe he can do away with them, we'll have to see.
I think this is just horrible. I do agree there are two culprits: the teacher and mother for very different reasons. The teacher should have spoken with the parents and the principal to find an alternative setting for the child. If he has a form of autism, he can't help his behavior. And she should have been WAY more sensitive. (She's lucky that wasn't my child)
As for Mom, she should have warned the teacher and educated her in how to control the child so that he wasn't disruptive. And if that didn't work, she should have either stayed herself or pulled him out of class until she could find an appropriate environment for him.
I'm glad that you can control your child without meds (for now) how lucky for you but if what I've seen is any indicator get ready for self medication eventually be it smoking,drinking or drugs, usually starts somewhere in the teen years.
It is not about me controlling my son. He controls himself. He is almost 11, and he wants to be in the normal classes, he wants to be like the other kids, he wants to be the so called "normal". Sitting down and talking to you kids about their problem, teaching them about the problem, and helping them learn how to control it is better than meds but too many parents don't take the time. I am in no way a perfect parent but I took the time to do the research, to visit the different doctors, to put my son in therapy to learn the control, so I am hoping that the relationship i have with my children, and the effort as well as the friendship will help through life and not be one of those kids that drinks and smokes, so I am sorry that you feel like all kids end up that way. Not all do!
Ok so is it safe to say that maybe this poor kid got picked on by the other kids and the teacher because he is "different"?
It is as good a theory as any - but for myself, I would go no further than "Clearly, something went wrong there. If the public descriptions of the event are even close to accurate, then a situation was mishandled on as many sides as there are folks involved, with the possible exception of the child."
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Originally Posted by flmom28
And you are correct some kids do need to be treated with meds, but how many kids are on meds for their parents benefit more than their own.
and
Quote:
what I see most often is the parents that are in denial ... and let little johnny run amok.
and my own:
And I see parents like both of those and parents who will not medicate, because they don't want to create one of those "zombies" spoken of earlier. They fear medicating their child inappropriately.
This is why it is important, in my opinion, that we take our time to try not to judge circumstances or individuals when we known only a shred of a situation - especially on a message board on which somebody is posting seeking support.
Too easy to assume that another party must have screwed up in ways that we, ourselves, would never have. Too hard to have others make those assumptions about us.
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