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I feel for your son and have no good advice to give you. I do not see a good or appropriate way to deal with this situation.
I can only tell you that if I were in his situation, I would be very tempted to confide to a councilor at school that some of these tormentors had touched me inappropriately in gym class and let them start defending themselves too.
I feel for your son and have no good advice to give you. I do not see a good or appropriate way to deal with this situation.
I can only tell you that if I were in his situation, I would be very tempted to confide to a councilor at school that some of these tormentors had touched me inappropriately in gym class and let them start defending themselves too.
I wouldn't go the route of having the son make false allegations against these kids because that could only backfire on him but I would recommend that the parents put the fear of litigation in the school administrators and the school board.
I feel for your son and have no good advice to give you. I do not see a good or appropriate way to deal with this situation.
I can only tell you that if I were in his situation, I would be very tempted to confide to a councilor at school that some of these tormentors had touched me inappropriately in gym class and let them start defending themselves too.
You're suggestion false allegations? That would only invite more in kind. Once you start playing with the truth, you're lost. I don't want this to escalate into something ugly. I agree my son shouldn't have used the N word and deserves punishment, but perhaps one day of suspension, not 3. The school had a hand in it by allowing the situation toescalate to the point it did. They were aware of the circumstances and turned a blind eye to it, thus allowing it to escalate. He finally retailiated, using the only weapon he could find, another verbal insult. It never would have happened if he weren't provoked, he doesn't go around just saying that.
We will be moving into a new school district next Fall anyways and I just want to get my ds through this bump in the road with as little fanfare as possible. I have conveyed that to the school in so many words, that I wish to keep this at a low level. but I've also implied I won't hesitate to take it further, it all depends on how they choose to handle it. All I want for my ds is a daily environment he doesn't feel threatened in to function on a day-to-day basis.
By the way, with regard to the son calling the other students the "N" word, he needs to understand that using that type of language will only escalate the situation (and potentially to a very physical level). Two wrongs do not make a right.
I would also recommend that he takes some sort of martial arts to build more confidence and self esteem.
By the way, with regard to the son calling the other students the "N" word, he needs to understand that using that type of language will only escalate the situation (and potentially to a very physical level). Two wrongs do not make a right.
I would also recommend that he takes some sort of martial arts to build more confidence and self esteem.
Yep, martial arts has been suggested, usually by those who don't have a kid enrolled in such classes. It sounds good, until you get in. You sign a contract that favors the martial arts school, then they stuff so many kids in there they can't turn around, literally. We gave up in frustration when they overstuffed the class to the point he couldn't even move without bumping into someone. They're all like that.
By the way, with regard to the son calling the other students the "N" word, he needs to understand that using that type of language will only escalate the situation (and potentially to a very physical level). Two wrongs do not make a right.
I would also recommend that he takes some sort of martial arts to build more confidence and self esteem.
Yes, indeed, the principal expressed that very concern. he said if he continues to use such language, he will get beat up. That was his words. Ok, we understand, but also calling a student gay invites hostility as well. Why is it they see what he says and does but not what others say and do to him?
They can't scantion a student for using the G word (gay), or they'd have gay rights activsts all over them. Better stick to the kid who used a politically incorrect word, not just a word in a harassing mannner.
Yep, martial arts has been suggested, usually by those who don't have a kid enrolled in such classes. It sounds good, until you get in. You sign a contract that favors the martial arts school, then they stuff so many kids in there they can't turn around, literally. We gave up in frustration when they overstuffed the class to the point he couldn't even move without bumping into someone. They're all like that.
Anything that he could do to give his confidence a boost will benefit him. Maybe instead of martial arts it could be minor weightlifting or running, etc.
Even though he will be moving to a different school/school district next year he may give off the same lack of confidence vibes to the next crop of students which could open him up as a target for bullies again.
Sometimes I wonder if school officilas ever went to school, seriously. A lot of them have their heads stuck so far up their a$$es. With all due respect this story sounds unbelievable. If this is all true, I feel for you. I had to deal with name calling as a kid on a daily basis. the only differnece is my family never knew about it. And it's something that has lived with me, and quite possibly affected my adulthood in a negative way? I'd pull him out of school right now.
I hope that never happens to my kids. Because I will go freakin' nuts and probably wind up in jail.
The school is grossly failing in its responsiblities if the only response is that he needs to learn to take it. I would defiinitely go over the heads of the principal to the superintendent, the school board, and the state department of education.
You're suggestion false allegations? That would only invite more in kind. Once you start playing with the truth, you're lost. I don't want this to escalate into something ugly. I agree my son shouldn't have used the N word and deserves punishment, but perhaps one day of suspension, not 3. The school had a hand in it by allowing the situation toescalate to the point it did. They were aware of the circumstances and turned a blind eye to it, thus allowing it to escalate. He finally retailiated, using the only weapon he could find, another verbal insult. It never would have happened if he weren't provoked, he doesn't go around just saying that.
We will be moving into a new school district next Fall anyways and I just want to get my ds through this bump in the road with as little fanfare as possible. I have conveyed that to the school in so many words, that I wish to keep this at a low level. but I've also implied I won't hesitate to take it further, it all depends on how they choose to handle it. All I want for my ds is a daily environment he doesn't feel threatened in to function on a day-to-day basis.
Please re-read my post. I did not suggest false allegations and stated up front that I did not have any good suggestions for you. I only warned that if I were in his situation I would be tempted to do something like this. I intended this post to alert you to a possibility that a young mind may turn to when the first attack did not work.
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