El Paso - the most sexist city Ive ever lived (Galveston: health insurance, education)

[ognend]

Originally Posted by unnativeelpasoan

Well, the OP seems to think that his wife's behavior is totally reasonable and acceptable, so I do not think it would be very rational of me to come to such an extremely negative conclusion about some woman I've never met, especially since denying the prevalence of machismo here in El Paso as well as the rest of the Texas border towns and beyond (as in Mexico and many parts of Latin Americal) is sort of like arguing that there aren't a lot of Catholics or Mexican restaurants here. It is simply part of the (strongly Mexican influenced) Hispanic cultural ethos here. (Although, I will say that the machismo attitudes are definitely less pervasive among the younger generations and, of course, most of those with less Hispanic cultural influences - i.e. non-Hispanics who are less assimilated to the border culture.)

That's a well stated stance and I cannot argue with that. There is the other part to the latin/hispanic culture - respect for women. This would contradict the OP. I am just curious why this got elevated to a cultural thing when it is easily possible that OP's wife is just out for a fight with everyone. There are plenty of people like that (another generalization, no?)

[mistabinks]

Hey guys, I went and bought a bratwurst on dyer street. The lady counted my change in German. Im highly offended. Based on this one incident, I've learned everything I need to know about German people, woman, and international economics.

[lmbebo]

A. She's not out to fight with anyone. She's frustrated in dealing with people here. Dealing with people here make her feel like less of an individual. I probably did misspeak with the cultural stuff. I grew up in a hispanic culture and never experienced this. Maybe its just just El Paso or the closeness to Mexico. I don't know. Its not something that either of us have experienced.
We had a contractor come over to redo our patio. He talked about taking the grill apart (something that wasn't discussed with the initial assessment). So she called me at work to make sure it was ok. Because she called me he ran off saying he'd never been so insulted.
B. Our first gardner refused to talk with my wife. He would give us the run around always.
C. Doctor issue - we are no longer his patients. It probably began before that blow up, but she mentioned the long wait times (8 am doc appt, not being seen till 2 pm -- very common). Never confrontational. Attitudes here in medical offices are basically, if you don't want to wait, leave. An issue related to the community being underserved.
D. I know its just not my wife. Our next door neighbors have the same issues. His wife couldn't do anything with the contractors because they wouldn't deal with his wife.

[Army_Guy]

I really don't have anything to add besides I know a very good landscape guy if anyone is interested. LOL.

[Horizonite]

Originally Posted by lmbebo

I have to vent because I'm soo sick of the machismo attitude this city has. My wife who does and will speak for the both of us cannot even ask questions without men flying off of the handle.

Call it machismo if you like, I prefer to call it, Alpha maleness. Maybe the OP should man up for his wife instead of being a Beta male and letting her speak for him. If folks don't agree with me, that's fine, but the most successful men in business and romantic relationships, are Alpha males.

[Violet West]

again, as a woman, I have to say, sexism is everywhere and pervasive. You may not notice it, as "alpha males" but the women sure do. Women make less than men, pay for for stuff than men do, receive less benefits, etc. Not sure why you act surprised.

Although the machismo integral to Hispanic culture is strong here, I've learned to watch for it, deal with it, but not put up with it. I have no choice, because I have no man to speak for me; for which I am forever and ever grateful.

Also, I keep reading this thread as "the most sexiest city . . . " That would be a better thread, I think!

[joqua]

Originally Posted by Violet West

Also, I keep reading this thread as "the most sexiest city . . . " That would be a better thread, I think!

[lmbebo]

Originally Posted by Horizonite

Call it machismo if you like, I prefer to call it, Alpha maleness. Maybe the OP should man up for his wife instead of being a Beta male and letting her speak for him. If folks don't agree with me, that's fine, but the most successful men in business and romantic relationships, are Alpha males.

Not being a beta male or whatever. My job keeps me from home and away from these situations. I've supported my wife when things have happened. She doesn't need me to stick up for her, she is more than capable to stick up for herself. I do it when she needs it.

[lmbebo]

Originally Posted by Violet West

again, as a woman, I have to say, sexism is everywhere and pervasive. You may not notice it, as "alpha males" but the women sure do. Women make less than men, pay for for stuff than men do, receive less benefits, etc. Not sure why you act surprised.

Although the machismo integral to Hispanic culture is strong here, I've learned to watch for it, deal with it, but not put up with it. I have no choice, because I have no man to speak for me; for which I am forever and ever grateful.

Also, I keep reading this thread as "the most sexiest city . . . " That would be a better thread, I think!

[Old Gringo]

Originally Posted by lmbebo

I have to vent because I'm soo sick of the machismo attitude this city has. My wife who does and will speak for the both of us cannot even ask questions without men flying off of the handle.

She was supposed to have an elective procedure in November. She actually read the consent form. Doctor lost his cool and yelled at her questioning his "ability" and "knowledge". We've had two yard people and now a patio person storm out because she had questions or concerns. I've been present for them. If I had asked it, I'm sure I would have been given an answer. But because she was taught to think and ask questions, its an issue in El Paso.

Never mind the service one gets at Doctor's office, where 4-5 hour wait times are routine ...

So sick of El Paso. Tried to love it. Tried to be patient with it. But learned the hard way why El Paso is El Paso ....

I've been in El Paso for nearly 34 years. My wife asks questions of all kinds of folks daily. In the early mornings, she asks me WAY too many.

Never had the experiences you've outlined.

Maybe it's the way she asks...