Asking women in the gym for their numbers (increase, drinking, comfortable)
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One should ask for a woman's number when you're about to enter the gym or leave the gym. Nothing in between unless the both of you are just waiting, relaxing or hanging out. When the workout begins I say just forget about it. You're not focused on your GOAL which which is VERY unattractive and makes you look needy and desperate. Plus you could be distracting her which is rude.
If you are in a bar and a women smiles at you of course it is appropriate to ask her if she would like a drink. In a gym this guy is a jerk.
So it is only acceptable for you for people to meet in a bar? No way, most guys in bars are jerks---drunk and looking for sex.
I'd much rather meet someone at a gym who I know right away has something in common with me, if he strikes up a conversation and is friendly, funny, and flirts a little without crossing any lines. I'd rather meet someone just about anywhere except in a bar!
So it is only acceptable for you for people to meet in a bar? No way, most guys in bars are jerks---drunk and looking for sex.
I'd much rather meet someone at a gym who I know right away has something in common with me, if he strikes up a conversation and is friendly, funny, and flirts a little without crossing any lines. I'd rather meet someone just about anywhere except in a bar!
Commonality is HUGE. The more you can stack/build commonalities the more you become SAFE for an approach. For example you go to the same gym but also see her at the local Trader Joes and also go to the same church. You two have a lot in common. You both stay in shape, love organic food, and share the same faith. The ball is in your court at this point. Even if she's in the middle of a squat, if you approach I doubt you would be perceived as creepy lol.
Commonality is HUGE. The more you can stack/build commonalities the more you become SAFE for an approach. For example you go to the same gym but also see her at the local Trader Joes and also go to the same church. You two have a lot in common. You both stay in shape, love organic food, and share the same faith. The ball is in your court at that point.
I live in California so church doesn't come up for too many people, especially not in a gym of all places! I've made many friends in gyms and what's nice about it over a bar is you can still maintain or keep building a friendship. Bars you never see the guy again before having to give a number (which I won't), so I would pick a gym over a bar where you have more control in getting to the know the guy over two or three times before having to decide whether to give him a number or not. If nothing else, you can be friends too.
I’m not saying that this thread needs to end yet, but let’s officially declare this the beginning of the end of this thread. It’s time to start wrapping up. It’s put up or shut time OP - if you are asking the question, you are interested in someone. Just ask her out already and let us know how it goes.
Alright i’m too old to be thinking about this issue much, but apparently not too old to avoid clicking on the subject. So let me say this to you younger folks - there are many men who do better in the mating game simply because they’ve got good game.
There are lots of variables in determining how good one’s game is - charm, humor, confidence, intelligence, your job, your money (let’s not kid ourselves - it matters to many women) and of course your looks. Let’s call them attraction factors. In the gym context, you usually don’t have much time to talk because you’re both working out, so looks will count a lot. You have little time to show off your personality and sense of humor so you need to make your words count. Needless to say, if you don’t have good looks or charms, your hopes for getting a date at the gym go way down.
So there’s no way to gauge one’s general success in scoring a date at the gym because men will have all of those sought-out factors in different amounts.
But let’s correct for all but one of those variables, one that I think is the most important - confidence. Take my word for it - this one matters most. If you don’t ask the question, you will never get an answer. Obviously you don't want to ask five different women out at the gym within a two week. Like others have said you don’t want to become THAT guy, some desperate looking soul.
How many times have we wondered what’s that beautiful looking woman doing with THAT guy? Well, THAT guy must’ve asked her out at some point. A large part of whether someone has good game is whether he is willing to play the NUMBERS game. I was never the type to ask every woman I was attracted to out - but some guys do and the numbers game works for them.
Your aggregated attraction factors give you a yield - the number of women who will say yes to a date versus the total number you ask. So it’s simple math - regardless of your success percentage, the more you ask the more dates you will get.
You just can’t be afraid of rejection. I was much more conservative in my approach before I hit my late 20s. I would need serious signals from a woman before I would ask her out. By the time I hit 28 or so I was much more confident. I still needed signals - a smile, a touch on the shoulder, laughing at my jokes, but I asked women out much more often at that stage and was much more successful.
So like others have suggested, don’t approach a woman who is wearing earbuds, in the middle of an exercise, or a woman you have never spoken to before at the gym and ask her out. But if you’re interested and she’s spoken to you, laughed at your jokes and just happens to walk into the area you are exercising in a lot, she just might be into you. And if you don’t ask her out, you’ll never know. Heck - even if she’s smiled at you a couple of times, you might have a chance.
Don’t rely on women to ask you out at the gym. There’s a really low probability of that happening.
What happens if you are rejected? Get over it fast. The cliche is true - if you don’t succeed at first, try try again. Just wait a month or two or before you ask someone else out at that gym.
I did not meet my wife at the gym. There ARE better places to meet women. But real relationships can begin there, just like they can anywhere.
Overall, I batted .400 in the gym scene (different gyms) and my playing days are over. I’m two for five in terms of multiple date relationships.
In fact, I was 4/5 in getting “yes” and phone numbers, but two of the women never wound up going out with me. Sometimes, women don’t want to say “no” right away out of politeness or who knows maybe they changed their mind. Be aware of that too. I took the hint at the excuses of those two and didn’t pursue them further.
One important piece of advice - if you get rejected, have a good exit plan ready. “Sorry to interrupt your workout, but I figured I’d ask - you have a great smile and seem really cool. Have a good workout. And this guy King of the South made me do it.” (Ok, skip the last line.)
Then other than a “hi” or giving her a smile, DO NOT talk to her again unless she initiates a conversation. It’s not taking a “hint” because she flat out rejected you. Don’t be creepy.
Ok so let the game(s) begin men: man up and ask her out. I’m just a spectator now. BUT YOU gotta be in it to win it.
One last piece of good advice: never ask someone out at the gym on a Monday. The Monday workout is too important and many people are in a bad mood from the start of a work week.
Today is Thursday, which is a good day to do it! Post your results here!
It's not literally juice, it's just a term for any non alcoholic drink. People will drink hibiscus tea, green tea, water with apple cider vinegar, protein and energy drinks.
I’m not saying that this thread needs to end yet, but let’s officially declare this the beginning of the end of this thread. It’s time to start wrapping up. It’s put up or shut time OP - if you are asking the question, you are interested in someone. Just ask her out already and let us know how it goes.
Alright i’m too old to be thinking about this issue much, but apparently not too old to avoid clicking on the subject. So let me say this to you younger folks - there are many men who do better in the mating game simply because they’ve got good game.
There are lots of variables in determining how good one’s game is - charm, humor, confidence, intelligence, your job, your money (let’s not kid ourselves - it matters to many women) and of course your looks. Let’s call them attraction factors. In the gym context, you usually don’t have much time to talk because you’re both working out, so looks will count a lot. You have little time to show off your personality and sense of humor so you need to make your words count. Needless to say, if you don’t have good looks or charms, your hopes for getting a date at the gym go way down.
So there’s no way to gauge one’s general success in scoring a date at the gym because men will have all of those sought-out factors in different amounts.
But let’s correct for all but one of those variables, one that I think is the most important - confidence. Take my word for it - this one matters most. If you don’t ask the question, you will never get an answer. Obviously you don't want to ask five different women out at the gym within a two week. Like others have said you don’t want to become THAT guy, some desperate looking soul.
How many times have we wondered what’s that beautiful looking woman doing with THAT guy? Well, THAT guy must’ve asked her out at some point. A large part of whether someone has good game is whether he is willing to play the NUMBERS game. I was never the type to ask every woman I was attracted to out - but some guys do and the numbers game works for them.
Your aggregated attraction factors give you a yield - the number of women who will say yes to a date versus the total number you ask. So it’s simple math - regardless of your success percentage, the more you ask the more dates you will get.
You just can’t be afraid of rejection. I was much more conservative in my approach before I hit my late 20s. I would need serious signals from a woman before I would ask her out. By the time I hit 28 or so I was much more confident. I still needed signals - a smile, a touch on the shoulder, laughing at my jokes, but I asked women out much more often at that stage and was much more successful.
So like others have suggested, don’t approach a woman who is wearing earbuds, in the middle of an exercise, or a woman you have never spoken to before at the gym and ask her out. But if you’re interested and she’s spoken to you, laughed at your jokes and just happens to walk into the area you are exercising in a lot, she just might be into you. And if you don’t ask her out, you’ll never know. Heck - even if she’s smiled at you a couple of times, you might have a chance.
Don’t rely on women to ask you out at the gym. There’s a really low probability of that happening.
What happens if you are rejected? Get over it fast. The cliche is true - if you don’t succeed at first, try try again. Just wait a month or two or before you ask someone else out at that gym.
I did not meet my wife at the gym. There ARE better places to meet women. But real relationships can begin there, just like they can anywhere.
Overall, I batted .400 in the gym scene (different gyms) and my playing days are over. I’m two for five in terms of multiple date relationships.
In fact, I was 4/5 in getting “yes” and phone numbers, but two of the women never wound up going out with me. Sometimes, women don’t want to say “no” right away out of politeness or who knows maybe they changed their mind. Be aware of that too. I took the hint at the excuses of those two and didn’t pursue them further.
One important piece of advice - if you get rejected, have a good exit plan ready. “Sorry to interrupt your workout, but I figured I’d ask - you have a great smile and seem really cool. Have a good workout. And this guy King of the South made me do it.” (Ok, skip the last line.)
Then other than a “hi” or giving her a smile, DO NOT talk to her again unless she initiates a conversation. It’s not taking a “hint” because she flat out rejected you. Don’t be creepy.
Ok so let the game(s) begin men: man up and ask her out. I’m just a spectator now. BUT YOU gotta be in it to win it.
One last piece of good advice: never ask someone out at the gym on a Monday. The Monday workout is too important and many people are in a bad mood from the start of a work week.
Today is Thursday, which is a good day to do it! Post your results here!
A guy asked one of the workers for her number, and she said something like, "I can give you the number to the gym to set up private workout sessions." He just laughed and walked away.
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