Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Bad idea, the vast majority of women are there to workout, not be hit on by men. The gym is not an appropriate place for this. Leave that to music clubs/festivals, bars, coffee shops, museums, etc.
Bad idea, the vast majority of women are there to workout, not be hit on by men. The gym is not an appropriate place for this. Leave that to music clubs/festivals, bars, coffee shops, museums, etc.
Agreed. However, the highest quality of women are at the gym. The lowest quality of women will be at places set for meeting people (bars/clubs). Just my opinion though.
Bad idea, the vast majority of women are there to workout, not be hit on by men. The gym is not an appropriate place for this. Leave that to music clubs/festivals, bars, coffee shops, museums, etc.
We can meet people all over! Meeting at a bar is the worst place, because most are drunk or blowing off steam with friends. It makes it harder for guys to approach us, plus drinking is involved and they are more than likely to be thinking about sex. Most people don't go to museums enough to make it a regular place to meet anyone so grocery stores and gyms are common, and it is also where we are more likely to be alone and taking notice of who is around us. I've met more friends in gyms than I have in bars.
We can meet people all over! Meeting at a bar is the worst place, because most are drunk or blowing off steam with friends. It makes it harder for guys to approach us, plus drinking is involved and they are more than likely to be thinking about sex. Most people don't go to museums enough to make it a regular place to meet anyone so grocery stores and gyms are common, and it is also where we are more likely to be alone and taking notice of who is around us. I've met more friends in gyms than I have in bars.
That might be true where you live, but that's not how it is in D.C. Grocery stores and gyms are probably two of the worst places to approach people. They are there to do something specific, not socialize. I've lived in this area for 17 years, and would never even consider approaching someone at a grocery store or gym. I know if someone started a conversation with me, I'd probably ignore them. When I'm at the gym I have my music blasting in headphones and I'm there to do my workout and go. On the other hand, I've met quite a few visiting the Smithsonian Museums and National Gallery of Art. Also at various music venues like the 9:30 Club and Black Cat. I don't understand why people think it's ok to approach someone anywhere, and they seem be rampant on this board.
Agreed. However, the highest quality of women are at the gym. The lowest quality of women will be at places set for meeting people (bars/clubs). Just my opinion though.
Yeah, that's not been my experience at all. All the gyms that I've gone to here nearly all the women have headphones/earbuds on which to me says they don't want to be bothered. I've met quite a few over the years going to music clubs (live music, not DJ's playing records) and some bars.
Don’t approach someone who looks like they don’t want to be approached.
If someone looks open, exchanges smiles with you during a few workouts and looks like she’s in a good mood, maybe you have an opening.
If you see someone who is wearing headphones and looks like a scowling misanthrope (maybe a recent poster perhaps) don’t make the approach.
But guess what - there are people who work out with their primary motivation being that they know that being in shape increases their chances of meeting members of the opposite sex. Looks do matter. So the idea that everyone is too busy working out and will be annoyed if someone dateable approaches them is silly - some people are there to increase their chances of exactly that happening.
“Yes, you are good-looking, fit and have a nice smile but I’m busy working out to increase my chances of randomly meeting someone who is good-looking, fit and has a nice smile! How dare you interrupt my workout!”. If you get rejected at the gym by someone who’s otherwise approachable, it didn’t happen because your attempt was made in the gym. It just that she’s not that into you.
Don’t approach someone who looks like they don’t want to be approached.
If someone looks open, exchanges smiles with you during a few workouts and looks like she’s in a good mood, maybe you have an opening.
If you see someone who is wearing headphones and looks like a scowling misanthrope (maybe a recent poster perhaps) don’t make the approach.
But guess what - there are people who work out with their primary motivation being that they know that being in shape increases their chances of meeting members of the opposite sex. Looks do matter. So the idea that everyone is too busy working out and will be annoyed if someone dateable approaches them is silly - some people are there to increase their chances of exactly that happening.
“Yes, you are good-looking, fit and have a nice smile but I’m busy working out to increase my chances of randomly meeting someone who is good-looking, fit and has a nice smile! How dare you interrupt my workout!”. If you get rejected at the gym by someone who’s otherwise approachable, it didn’t happen because your attempt was made in the gym. It just that she’s not that into you.
lol. You're being way too logical for this board.
It seems to me, that DC museums wouldn't be helpful at all as a place to meet potential date partners, because most of the visitors would be tourists from out of town, out of state, out of country. Grocery stores, coffee shops, etc. would be the ticket there, I would think, because you know nearly everyone there is local. Museums and art gallery events, and perhaps bookstore events, would be useful for that in most other parts of the country.
It seems to me, that DC museums wouldn't be helpful at all as a place to meet potential date partners, because most of the visitors would be tourists from out of town, out of state, out of country. Grocery stores, coffee shops, etc. would be the ticket there, I would think, because you know nearly everyone there is local. Museums and art gallery events, and perhaps bookstore events, would be useful for that in most other parts of the country.
Well, I don't know what to tell you. Do you think I'm lying? I have no reason to. FYI, the Smithsonian museums and other museums have quite a few events where it's mainly locals that attend. The National Gallery has a Free Jazz in the Garden concert series every Friday through the summer which I have attended during the years and have met quite a few people who also happen to live here in D.C. The Hirshhorn also has a ton of events which again mainly locals attend.
Don’t approach someone who looks like they don’t want to be approached.
If someone looks open, exchanges smiles with you during a few workouts and looks like she’s in a good mood, maybe you have an opening.
If you see someone who is wearing headphones and looks like a scowling misanthrope (maybe a recent poster perhaps) don’t make the approach.
But guess what - there are people who work out with their primary motivation being that they know that being in shape increases their chances of meeting members of the opposite sex. Looks do matter. So the idea that everyone is too busy working out and will be annoyed if someone dateable approaches them is silly - some people are there to increase their chances of exactly that happening.
“Yes, you are good-looking, fit and have a nice smile but I’m busy working out to increase my chances of randomly meeting someone who is good-looking, fit and has a nice smile! How dare you interrupt my workout!”. If you get rejected at the gym by someone who’s otherwise approachable, it didn’t happen because your attempt was made in the gym. It just that she’s not that into you.
So you're calling me a misanthrope because when I go to the gym I actually want to do my workout and not socialize? Ok. I work ten-hour shifts (often night shifts), so my time is limited. Like I said, I don't go to the gym to socialize. There are so many other ways to meet people in this city which I do.
My rule is never date anyone at work, at the gym or at my apt complex. I don't want my life to get too messy.
That's the point of having a secondary gym membership or using ClassPass. You can use that secondary gym membership or random attendence at classes via ClassPass to hit on women and not have any messy consequences.
Quote:
Originally Posted by david0966
Bad idea, the vast majority of women are there to workout, not be hit on by men. The gym is not an appropriate place for this. Leave that to music clubs/festivals, bars, coffee shops, museums, etc.
The problem with that logic is that in the venues where women expect to be approached, which are bars, apps, generic interest Meetup.com social groups, music festivals, these women have their guards up big time in those venues. The argument for using the gym, the mall, the grocery store, etc. is catch women off guard when their defenses are down compared to the bar/app type situation.
Quote:
Originally Posted by FrankAce
Agreed. However, the highest quality of women are at the gym. The lowest quality of women will be at places set for meeting people (bars/clubs). Just my opinion though.
The absolute worst behavior will be encountered from app meetings, followed by closely by bars/nightclubs. In any sort of cold approaching or app usage scenario, guys get generally inhumane treatment with rudeness, flaking, etc. This is because cold approaching and app use are frictionless environments. If a woman mistreats a man in a frictionless environment, it doesn't matter because she faces no consequences for doing so. An environment with friction is a meeting through friends or mutual acquaintances. If a woman is rude to a man she meets through a friend or mutual acquaintance, she's going to hear about it through the social circle, which is uncomfortable. Frictionless environments encourage the most rude behavior. Who is going to know if a woman fails to respond to a text message offering a 2nd date if they met through an app or at the grocery store? The answer is no one. What's the incentive to offer humane treatment? There isn't any..
Before I continue, I'll also say that men are ruder to women in frictionless environments as well.
Grocery stores are generally frictionless. The odds of two people who ever met in a grocery store ever seeing each other again after a failed dating incident are slim to none in a larger city environment.
The gym is slightly more frictional than a grocery store or mall, but this isn't enough to guarantee either humane treatment or uncomfortable situations arising. I've been more careful over time in the gym to see if I can get better signals before approaching if I plan to ever return to that gym. ClassPass can change the balance of the equation on this slightly, but I'll want to get a better sense that the approach is going to be more successful at any fitness facility as compared to a bar/nightclub, grocery store, or mall.
Quote:
Originally Posted by CaptainNJ
if you want to meet women, approaching them anywhere is a reasonable thing to do. like you said, its sales and you are selling yourself. not everyone is a buyer and so you move on. but there are a lot of buyers out there if you are selling something that they may be interested in. you fail every time you dont try.
if i was single; i would absolutely be willing to approach any woman i want to spend time with. if you see someone you may be interested in while at the gym; you may never see her again. so your hope for love is going to depend on where you are at the moment? i dont care if you are at a funeral; you can take a shot.
If you don't have a viable social circle capable of mutually beneficial introductions, you have to either cold approach or use apps. Maybe both.
In a big city, you won't see someone again at a mall or grocery store, so you have to do the approach now. Depending upon the gym, you may see each other again, but there's no reason to procrastinate. If someone is intriguing, make the approach now.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
