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One evening, he turned to me and said, "It hurts my feelings when you say things like that. This is something I want to do for myself. I am supportive of your goals"--I had started working out again around the same time--"and I want you to support mine." I hadn't realized that I was being discouraging; I thought I was telling him he didn't have to change. I wasn't paying attention to the fact that he wanted to change. Furthermore, he had been loving and affectionate when I wasn't pleased with my body. If he wasn't pleased either, he hid it well, and that made me feel bad. He had been more supportive to me than the other way around, and I didn't realize it until he told me.
That interesting what you've said. I had kind of an opposite experience as I lost about 25-30 lbs and went from being a curvy somewhat bootylicious 155 lbs to a skinny, muscular and trim 125 lbs since July. My husband mentions every so often how he doesn't "mind it" when I'm heavier and not to lose "too much" weight. He's worried I do it for him, but...I don't. I know he likes me either way but *I* prefer myself at a lower weight like I am now.
Thank you very much! I will look up Seane Corn ... surely she has a website.
Wow, I envy her flexibility. I've been thinking about taking yoga classes to help with mine; I've always had challenges there, particularly in my hamstrings. One of my cousins (two years younger than me) is a yoga instructor and owns a little studio. She moves with such grace and agility, even just padding around the house in her bare feet, and she is the most radiant person I've ever known. She just exudes happiness. If I can get just a little piece of that from yoga, I will!
P.S. And I LOVE her hair.
You're very welcome, Julia... nice to offer and accept support with our goals of any type, and wow, what a nice story of you and your husband gracefully smoothing out and deciding to do the same with each other. Such growth on your part. I'll remember your story as a beneficial lesson. This year I've been focusing on peace... so far, so good dispite extraordinary ebbs and flows. I've smiled through it all (mostly)... nice to know we can all learn and change at any moment of any day at any age.
And yes, Seane is all over the web and you may be able to borrow her videos at your local library... I'm all for testing things out before purchasing. As an aside, you may enjoy Bryan Kest's videos, too (he, too, can be found at your local library on DVD & Seane is in at least one of his yoga videos). He's certainly far stronger than I can hope to be, but that doesn't disuade me from following along and doing what I can. His teaching style and supportive words are hugely impacting (as are Seane's, although her style of yoga vastly differs)... he always reminds to work to your capability today. Yesterday you may have been able to do pose A, B, C without difficulty... today, you're stuggling with just attempting A... it's normal. Our bodies are not the same each and everyday so why expect them to be. He also talks about no right or wrong way to do a pose... we do what WE can and that is perfection for US. My body may never do pose D as in the illustration... you can with ease. Both of us are doing it right. Love that!
I'm smiling at the way you describe your cousin... great inspiration in more than a few ways... my secret dream someday is to be able to own a small yoga studio. If you don't mind my asking, in which state does she practice? Is she close enough geographically for you to take classes? She sounds lovely to be around, "padding 'round in bare feet".
By the way, in regard to your hamstring tightness... a friend's brother was a professional dancer/choreographer. He mainly worked in Vegas/Reno, including in shows for those who were well-known dancers long ago, such as Ann-Margret and Rita Moreno. I assumed he'd always taken dance classes and found out he began stretching at age 29, dance classes at 30! He said he was so inflexible, it took 1-yr of sitting in front of the TV each evening for an hour to simply stretch his legs to loosen muscle... in particular, his tight as a drum hamstrings. After a year, he began dance classes. In another year, he could lift his leg as high as a Rockette. His first professional show was at the ripe age of 33 and he's never stopped. He's now in his early 60's, has moved more into stage work and teaching, but still retains the gentle grace and flexibility of a dancer.
The best lesson he taught me was to watch your nightly movies, but have no furniture in the TV room... sit on your mat, stretch, use your exercise equipment, bands, weights or machines and still get your entertainment and exercise in regularly. I haven't owned a sofa for 20-yrs but watch movies from the floor whilst stretching, just about daily.
Please post back to let us know what and how you're doing and who you found as your visual to help you focus. I'm now working on flexibility, so I believe I'll join you in finding a new yoga pic. And, yes, Seane has a glorious head of hair and smile... I always adored the cute little girls who had manes of ringlets. She must be close to 50 if not over now and still looks like a school girl, mainly due to her beautiful attitude and loving demeanor! Sounds like your cousin... people such as those are my true heroes. Thank you for sharing your stories... you have helped me grow a little bit more today.
I'm smiling at the way you describe your cousin... great inspiration in more than a few ways... my secret dream someday is to be able to own a small yoga studio. If you don't mind my asking, in which state does she practice? Is she close enough geographically for you to take classes? She sounds lovely to be around, "padding 'round in bare feet".
She is. She is so kind and happy that being around her is always a pleasure. I think she inherited her mother's gentle demeanor. I've never heard either of them say anything angry. My cousin's studio is in Des Moines, which is about five hours from here. She is a big fan of a studio in Chicago that teaches the Nia method of yoga (if that is the right word), and they are opening a studio in the suburb where I live. I'm hoping she and her family will come visit this summer, and she and I can go take a class.
Thank you for the suggestion to stretch every night. I just sent my cousin an e-mail, asking for suggestions for a DVD, YouTube series or website that demonstrates warm-up and stretching. I need to see the demonstration in motion, not in a book.
My husband is not much of a "butt man," but it seems like an awful lot of men are. I just don't get it at ALL ... it's a butt. Sure, they can be round and muscular, but you sit on it and poop comes out of it. It's purely functional from my point of view, yet millions of men are drooling over women's butts.
For my impossibly perfect inspiring body/athletic ability that I would kill to have...Adrian Peterson.
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