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I'm very passionate so sometimes I come across abrasive online. But IRL, I'm very polite and sweet. I'm not going to act a fool and wind up escorted out the restaurant by the police. No meal is worth all of that.
LOL. Well, that's good. I wouldn't do that either, but I've seen it done..... Do you drink coffee Nyanna? Jade? Pear?
I say a mocha is in order......
Jade, as far as your OP goes, I really think that like mermaid said, personality overrides looks.
I don't think I am high up on this scale you're talking about but people accept me for who I am and appreciate me as well. For the very most part, I am treated well, no matter how I look.
When I go to aquatic therapy on Mondays and Wednesdays, I don't even scare off the little old ladies with my tattoos! We actually talk about things.... road trips, fall weather, taking pictures...
You have to get behind who a person is, not what they look like. People just need to open up their minds and realize this.
I have never judged a person by how they look, and all people are treated as equals by me. I know this is not how life works, but for me, this is how it works and it turns out just fine for all involved.
Yes. I think the driver probably thought I was a bum. People have no respect for the homeless. And the fact that I was Black made it even worse. So they tried to run me over. If I were dressed a lot better that day, I doubt they would have nearly hit me.
Nyanna, what did I tell you abut dressing like a bum? That's how I am dressed right now, but I am chillin on the couch, not well.
I don't understand why they nearly hit you unless you walked out in front of them or they just didn't see you.
I do notice, in certain places, wearing certain things can lead to very different treatment.
Like, if I wear jeans and a top in a casual way I'll get one reaction vs jeans and a shirt in a more polished way.
The other day I went to Neiman Marcus (which is way out my budget) on a mission to get some earrings (that were surprisingly in budget). I was dressed casually. Jeans and a sweater (and slightly big earrings). I went over to the jewelry department to ask where I could find the earrings I saw in the magazine. I knew the designer name, and that was it. They told me it was an online only thing. And told me I should check in another section to look for other pieces.
They sent me over to the teeny bopper section LOL! (They were friendly of course).
Last time I went in, I was more dressed up, and no one tried to "steer" me away from the Reed Krakow purses I was admiring for the Marc by Marc Jacobs bags.
I've never really thought about it, honestly. I'm polite to a fault when speaking to people, especially those who work in the service industry (I've paid my dues and understand the pain). I know that when walking down the street, I look very mean but I'm almost always in a "neutral" mood. Neither happy nor sad, just calm and content. I'm sure having the shoulders back + very fast stride doesn't look to favorably upon me, neither, but whatever. I tend to surprise people when I speak because my whole face goes from, well: :| to
Never been run down by a car, never had a door slam in my face, etc.
The times when I've found that I've gotten better treatment almost always comes from men and usually when I'm lost/confused/upset (like, "Oh god, all I want to do is go to Target. I am not trying to get stuck in Dorchester!"). I guess it's the whole damsel in distress thing happening.
I was told by two employers that my looks were part of the reason I got the jobs - outside sales/male dominated industries.
In all fairness, I can back it up with competence and knowledge.
Being considered attractive can help in certain situations, but let's face it, it's a time limited commodity. You have to back it up with something of substance. In all fairness, I was asked to work at a company because the female owner said I made people feel good about themselves. Attitude can go a very long way too.
Do I think it's right? Not really. I once read an article that likable people were more valued than competent people in the work place. I don't think that is right either.
I was told by two employers that my looks were part of the reason I got the jobs - outside sales/male dominated industries.
In all fairness, I can back it up with competence and knowledge.
Being considered attractive can help in certain situations, but let's face it, it's a time limited commodity. You have to back it up with something of substance. In all fairness, I was asked to work at a company because the female owner said I made people feel good about themselves. Attitude can go a very long way too.
Do I think it's right? Not really. I once read an article that likable people were more valued than competent people in the work place. I don't think that is right either.
I have only worked in bars and restaurants so far but I have never been hired by a woman. It sucks because if I have a job interview with a woman who is in her 20s or 30s I generally all of the sudden feel like I won't get hired since that is what I'm used to and come to expect.
I have plenty of experience but still.
I have had good reception from women in their 40s or 30s who already have families, but I have never been interviewed by one.
I have always been hired by men. I don't display my body in an unprofessional way but now I'm stuck with this curse of immediately assuming it won't go well once the woman interviewing me is around my age.
I have female friends so it's not that I have issues with women...it's just this weird circumstance.
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I'm not going to act a fool and wind up escorted out the restaurant by the police. No meal is worth all of that.
Do you drink coffee Nyanna? Jade? Pear?
If I were dressed a lot better that day, I doubt they would have nearly hit me.
That's how I am dressed right now, but I am chillin on the couch, not well.
