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But you don't do that by calling a woman "disgusting." Do you have any idea what that can do to someone? Have you ever studied domestic abuse? One thing that is a common element in domestic abuse is the abuser exerts power over the victim by shaming her with a sense of worthlessness. And this is true not just of overweight abuse victims too. It underscores the damange that mental and emotional abuse can do. A woman will remain in a relationship with an abusive man because he has convinced her she is worthless.
I think fat shaming has similar ramifications, even if the intend is different. If you tell a woman she's fat and disgusting, and society generally condones that message, she may eventually believe it and develop a low sense of self worth. Then what? It takes a lot of effort to change lifestyle habits and lose weight. Is someone with a low sense of self worth equipped to do that?
Doubtful.
Yes, I do admit to using strong language at that point. Its an issue of miscommunication. I should have been much more careful with my choice of words. I never intended to insult on that post and dont want to make people feel worthless. At heart, I am not that kind of person, and my parents know that. I NEVER intended to abuse anyone. Will refrain from using such strong language.
Last edited by Adi from the Brunswicks; 02-10-2014 at 07:22 AM..
Lols Chum Kiu, you love posting all the time about how much you hate overweight women and would never date one. You sure must be some kind of rich hottie. And to say that So Cal accepts everyone is a laugh.
LOLs to you because I have NEVER posted anything about how I "hate overweight women". I have a short posting history so I suggest checking what I have posted and you'll see that I have NEVER said anything about me "hating' anyone. Maybe you are just sad that I say I don't find overweight women attractive? Maybe you are just upset and hurt that I say I would never date an overweight woman?
Oh, and since you are wondering what I look like, my own personal sense of modesty prevents me to talking about myself (plus its totally off topic) but, I am not going to say I am super good looking, but I will say that I am pretty far from being unattractive. Also, I have a dang good body that I work very hard on so there.
Plus size and morbidly obese are not the same thing. If you are a woman and wear a size larger than a 12 (ten, by some definitions) you are plus size. But morbid obesity and/or weight-related health problems are not necessarily a part and parcel of this. A woman who is six feet tall and wears size 16 jeans is not likely to be battling the health concerns of morbid obesity.
Plus size and morbidly obese are not the same thing. If you are a woman and wear a size larger than a 12 (ten, by some definitions) you are plus size. But morbid obesity and/or weight-related health problems are not necessarily a part and parcel of this. A woman who is six feet tall and wears size 16 jeans is not likely to be battling the health concerns of morbid obesity.
Apparently some people think that 40 pounds overweight and 160 pounds overweight are exactly the same in terms of health outcomes. There is a big difference (not even taking account thinks like frame size and muscle mass).
Seriously, who wears a coat when the high is 52 F in December. I call that outright wimpy .
Cav Scout, we are all used to different things. 30 F with mostly cloudy skies is such a relief in NJ right now after experiencing 5 days with subzero lows in January, Blizzard, constant snowstorms, and an Ice storm . We are due for another round of sub zero lows tomorrow.
Anyways to the original poster with due respect, Here is an image of myself wearing Mens 16.5 34-35 Dress shirt to a job fair in Newark. Does this shirt qualify as plus sized:
Plus size and morbidly obese are not the same thing. If you are a woman and wear a size larger than a 12 (ten, by some definitions) you are plus size. But morbid obesity and/or weight-related health problems are not necessarily a part and parcel of this. A woman who is six feet tall and wears size 16 jeans is not likely to be battling the health concerns of morbid obesity.
When these types of discussions come up, people always jump to the extremes and start talking about "400 pounds isn't attractive" or whatever. Morbid obesity is an entirely different issue than just overweight. Many people don't know anyone who weighs 400 pounds, but see people built like Lena Dunham or Jonah Hill or Mindy Kaling every day. There are ways to allow fat people to accept themselves worthwhile human beings while at the same time encouraging them to be healthy (which isn't necessarily being thin.)
Last edited by fleetiebelle; 02-10-2014 at 09:21 AM..
Well, anyone over a size 16 is unhealthy. You can't convince me. Technically (in some stores), a 12 is plus size; which to me isn't true. We shouldn't accept plus sizes (even though I am one) because it promotes that it's okay to be fat, which is not true.
And being morbidly obese is a whole other story. I think once one person reaches class II obesity, then that's where the line should be drawn.
I like my men burly. Preferably big and tall, but I have dated shorter guys. I'd take a burly man with a large chest anyday over the one wearing the pencil jeans.
There's plus sized and then there's morbidly obese. There are many attractive size 16s out there.
Every person, regardless of their size, is entitled to be treated with kindness and respect and their worth as a person should not be based on their weight.
Still, if I were single, I would probably not date an overweight man. I spend lots of time and energy staying in shape because it helps me feel good and keeps me able to do physical things. I want my partner to be able to do the same things. I dated an overweight smoker once, and he could not keep up with me even when we went for a walk. I know that was due to the smoking as much as his weight, but it was discouraging.
Also, I realize that calamity and physical illness can befall anyone at any moment, but I appreciate the fact that my husband maintains a healthy weight and exercises because it lessens the likelihood that one of us will be physically caring for the other when we get older. Don't get me wrong, if he had a stroke right now and I had to jump in with a lot of personal care for him, I would do it because I love him. But if he were overweight and never exercised I'd probably be resentful if he had a stroke or heart attack when he could have taken measures to prevent it. If that makes me shallow, I'm shallow.
I think that the title of this thread (misspelling of the word "acceptance" aside) is a bit misleading.
I don't think it is acceptance that is being suggested.
It is KINDNESS.
It is NOT BEING A JERK TO SOMEONE WHO MAY BE STRUGGLING WITH WEIGHT ISSUES.
Nobody says anyone has to date a person that they do not find attractive. I know I don't plan to date any dudes who are really huge because I'm 5'4" and while I'm not super thin, I'm also not a large woman. I dunno... I prefer people who are a bit closer to my size overall. That might be a bit overweight, or a wee bit under... but, still.. in the same ballpark.
That's just me. Some people date heavy people by choice... some date thin people by choice.
Some only want muscular, athletic... you get my meaning.
The bottom line is this:
DON'T BE MEAN TO OVERWEIGHT AND/OR OBESE PEOPLE FOR NO REASON WHATSOEVER. IT MAKES YOU LOOK LIKE A DAMNED HATEFUL JERK.
A psychological observation: I think that sometimes, people might lose weight who used to be heavier, and they tend to have more disdain and less understanding of the struggles of the overweight than people who have really never been overweight. That's pretty sad, when you think of it. Why be so down on people just because you were able to lose weight? We are all different people with different genetic and/or psychological backgrounds.
People have more sympathy for every other type of addict in the world, save a person who is addicted to food.
It's very sad. People should be ashamed of themselves for being that way. You do not have to date people you don't find attractive. But... being kind to people who are being kind to you? I think that's just being a decent human being.
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Also, I have a dang good body that I work very hard on so there.
. 
