Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Well, anyone over a size 16 is unhealthy. You can't convince me. Technically (in some stores), a 12 is plus size; which to me isn't true. We shouldn't accept plus sizes (even though I am one) because it promotes that it's okay to be fat, which is not true.
And being morbidly obese is a whole other story. I think once one person reaches class II obesity, then that's where the line should be drawn.
If you got natural "over sized" boobs and you have to use a size 16, that does not make you unhealthy. It means you have big boobies and there must be more fabric to cover them.
The vast majority of women I've been involved with - including my wife - are fat. While by some definitions, I might stand to lose ~10 lbs., I wouldn't call myself "fat".
As others have said, one's physical condition can be due to any or all of the following:
1) Heredity. My wife gave birth to two daughters from her ex-husband (who was also fat) and adopted a son. The son ate as much - and sometimes more - than the daughters yet he remained "skinny as a rail" while the others eventually realized their rubenesque destiny.
2) Medical Conditions. Somewhat related to heredity, there are those whose metabolism is unusually slow due to hypothyroidism. Then there are the side effects to some medicines which also slow metabolism or otherwise cause weight gain.
3) Eating Choices. While there may be emotional eaters and others with simply "bad habits", I don't necessary think this is why the majority of fat people become so. Granted the existence of 1) and/or 2) don't make things any easier.
For anyone here who is serious about accepting themselves as a person of size, feel free to inbox me for information about resources.
Every person, regardless of their size, is entitled to be treated with kindness and respect and their worth as a person should not be based on their weight.
Still, if I were single, I would probably not date an overweight man. I spend lots of time and energy staying in shape because it helps me feel good and keeps me able to do physical things. I want my partner to be able to do the same things. I dated an overweight smoker once, and he could not keep up with me even when we went for a walk. I know that was due to the smoking as much as his weight, but it was discouraging.
Also, I realize that calamity and physical illness can befall anyone at any moment, but I appreciate the fact that my husband maintains a healthy weight and exercises because it lessens the likelihood that one of us will be physically caring for the other when we get older. Don't get me wrong, if he had a stroke right now and I had to jump in with a lot of personal care for him, I would do it because I love him. But if he were overweight and never exercised I'd probably be resentful if he had a stroke or heart attack when he could have taken measures to prevent it. If that makes me shallow, I'm shallow.
Nope. Not shallow. I can see why you might resent him if he fell ill to something that he could have controlled with proper diet and exercise. Particularly if you know he's not got some sort of condition that makes exercise and/or losing weight difficult.
I am able to lose weight without much problem. I have a harder time doing certain exercises. Walking and so forth are fine, but when we involve my arm/shoulder/neck area, all bets are off. I have bulging discs from 2 prior injuries... one of them was while skiing, in fact.
Sooo... do I lose weight as fast as I could if I was able to throw myself into exercise like I did in my teens/twenties? Nope. But, can I lose it? Sure. Will I gain it back? If I'm not careful, I might. Especially if I go through a bout of bad problems with my shoulder.
Still, I have never struggled with not being able to find clothes because I was very large... that must be so difficult.
I have been unhappy that I couldn't fit into something really cute that I could wear easily if I hadn't put on a bit of weight. That, oddly enough, is what usually motivates me to drop some pounds. I have really cute clothes.
My point is that I never just look at a very heavy person and think "lazy." I look at them like I would any other human being... they may be struggling, they may not. I don't know them, and I cannot judge.
Do I think that people who are obese (particularly the morbidly obese) should get very serious about their health and diet? Absolutely. Thing is, you cannot look at someone who is and tell that they aren't already serious about it.
__________________
When in doubt, check it out: FAQ
If you got natural "over sized" boobs and you have to use a size 16, that does not make you unhealthy. It means you have big boobies and there must be more fabric to cover them.
I have to go big in tops due to my big boobs. I am smaller in bottoms. Example: right now, I'm a size 10 in jeans (working back into an 8, where I am fully comfy because I don't like being too thin as a 46yo... makes my face look older).
But, in some tops, despite being shorter, I have to go for the L or XL... I don't like them too tight... my chest is the first thing a person sees. I had to buy a size 16 in a dress shirt the other day... just for the boobs. I could wear the 12 and the 14 just fine but the buttons were straining ACROSS THE CHEST ONLY.
yeah... I need a tailor.
__________________
When in doubt, check it out: FAQ
Just saw this thread and had to jump in and comment. Having lived in the midwest and now the northeast U.S. -- I see a big difference in "size acceptance". In the midwest, you saw a pretty wide range of different sizes of both men and women, and I'd say a pretty good number of "fit/athletic/attractive" people dating partners who were much larger. Sure, you still had the people with nothing good to say about anyone who was fat ... but I'd say being a bigger man or woman was pretty common and generally tolerated, if not accepted or embraced (depending on who you asked).
Here in the northeast, there seems to be more of a health-conscious attitude. The woman who doesn't constantly carry on about her diet or how many pounds she's trying to lose is the exception to the rule, out here. Just walking on the street, you see the vast majority of people, male and female, have a slender to average build. Obese people exist, but they do stand out more from the crowd.
I'm an average-sized guy myself, but I've always had a physical preference for thicker, curvier women. Too many of the women out here look like stereotypes .... the "cookie cutter" image the womens' magazines harp on women to look like.
Honestly, I think you have to make choices in life about what makes you happy or content, and stick with those convictions. If you really enjoy food and dining, and you strongly dislike going to the gym or playing competitive sports? Then, IMO, there's nothing wrong with that! Be yourself and be content in the fact that although doctors and health fanatics will try to tell you that you're "doing it wrong", you're choosing quality of life over a supposed increase in number of total years you'll get to live.
Personally, I look at the fitness/exercise/health/diet industries and the insane amount of money they rake in each year, primarily by guilting people, and it makes me question the whole thing. When I hear medical doctors trying to classify obesity as a disease, it confirms my suspicions. (What a load of B.S. The human body is working AS DESIGNED if you eat food and it converts excess calories into fat, stored in fat cells. Yet they want to declare the process as a disease? Obesity is just a symptom of other problems, if anything.)
Every person, regardless of their size, is entitled to be treated with kindness and respect and their worth as a person should not be based on their weight.
Just saw this thread and had to jump in and comment. Having lived in the midwest and now the northeast U.S. -- I see a big difference in "size acceptance". In the midwest, you saw a pretty wide range of different sizes of both men and women, and I'd say a pretty good number of "fit/athletic/attractive" people dating partners who were much larger. Sure, you still had the people with nothing good to say about anyone who was fat ... but I'd say being a bigger man or woman was pretty common and generally tolerated, if not accepted or embraced (depending on who you asked).
Here in the northeast, there seems to be more of a health-conscious attitude. The woman who doesn't constantly carry on about her diet or how many pounds she's trying to lose is the exception to the rule, out here. Just walking on the street, you see the vast majority of people, male and female, have a slender to average build. Obese people exist, but they do stand out more from the crowd.
I'm an average-sized guy myself, but I've always had a physical preference for thicker, curvier women. Too many of the women out here look like stereotypes .... the "cookie cutter" image the womens' magazines harp on women to look like.
Honestly, I think you have to make choices in life about what makes you happy or content, and stick with those convictions. If you really enjoy food and dining, and you strongly dislike going to the gym or playing competitive sports? Then, IMO, there's nothing wrong with that! Be yourself and be content in the fact that although doctors and health fanatics will try to tell you that you're "doing it wrong", you're choosing quality of life over a supposed increase in number of total years you'll get to live.
Personally, I look at the fitness/exercise/health/diet industries and the insane amount of money they rake in each year, primarily by guilting people, and it makes me question the whole thing. When I hear medical doctors trying to classify obesity as a disease, it confirms my suspicions. (What a load of B.S. The human body is working AS DESIGNED if you eat food and it converts excess calories into fat, stored in fat cells. Yet they want to declare the process as a disease? Obesity is just a symptom of other problems, if anything.)
Except in rare cases of hormone imbalance or such disorders, I agree.
I think that people should aim for health as a goal and not be obsessed with hitting a certain target because advertising says that's what they should look like.
I am quite curvy... I'm curvy when I'm rail thin... I'm curvy when I'm larger. It's the bones... the hip bones... even at a size 10 in women's jeans right now, my bones poke out.
__________________
When in doubt, check it out: FAQ
A psychological observation: I think that sometimes, people might lose weight who used to be heavier, and they tend to have more disdain and less understanding of the struggles of the overweight than people who have really never been overweight. That's pretty sad, when you think of it. Why be so down on people just because you were able to lose weight? We are all different people with different genetic and/or psychological backgrounds.
People have more sympathy for every other type of addict in the world, save a person who is addicted to food.
Sometimes I lurk in the Exercise and Fitness forum here, and it's funny how sometimes you'll see a 20-something jock guy who's never struggled with his weight belittling a middle-aged woman trying to lose the weight she's been carrying for years for being lazy or doing pointless workouts or whatever. These guys just don't see that while yes, eat less and move more is just that simple, they're dealing with completely different hormonal and physiological issues.
No, never. Health and fitness are very important to me. I try to eat healthy and exercise often, and someone who wasn't at least healthy in the most general sense would not be at all compatible with my lifestyle.
A psychological observation: I think that sometimes, people might lose weight who used to be heavier, and they tend to have more disdain and less understanding of the struggles of the overweight than people who have really never been overweight. That's pretty sad, when you think of it. Why be so down on people just because you were able to lose weight? We are all different people with different genetic and/or psychological backgrounds.
People have more sympathy for every other type of addict in the world, save a person who is addicted to food.
It's very sad. People should be ashamed of themselves for being that way. You do not have to date people you don't find attractive. But... being kind to people who are being kind to you? I think that's just being a decent human being.
I agree! Just because they "did it" doesn't give them the right to look down upon other people.
I find the same thing about EX-smokers. Some look upon smokers worse than lepers and preach at them. Would you walk up to a stranger and tell them they need to lose weight? Prolly not, but they have NO problem walking up to a smoker and giving a lecture. It is RUDE, period, and NONE of their business.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
