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All I know is that I feel energetic and attractive at age 59 (and holding!). I stay active, I feel good, I dress attractively, I have a cute hairstyle (that I've let go all natural color wise so it's SUPER healthy), I wear a bit of makeup but not too much, I keep my teeth in good shape (I really feel like that's important), I don't wear glasses (not saying that's wrong but I thankfully just don't have to wear them so I don't), etc. My figure is no longer perfect, and I have a few signs of aging, because, WELL, I AM aging, but so what? I'm not ashamed of my age at all. I'm not ashamed of my experiences. I'm not insecure. I have never relied more on looks than on brains or personality or character, thankfully - and I have plenty of all those! I like myself and am comfortable in my own skin and with my life. If other people appreciate that as well, great, but if not, well, I'm not paying attention to them anyway.
I just booked a solo vacation for myself (husband died last year). I'm so excited about it! I can't wait to do exactly what I want to do, on my own timeline, for a solid week of vacation. Will I "try" to look good? Well, I'm going to get a pedicure right before I go. Probably going to buy a few new clothes. I'm definitely getting my hair cut right before I go too. But you know what - I'm doing those things for ME, not for other people. I plan to lay on the beach and admire my pedicure. I plan to grin at myself as I walk out of the hotel room in cute clothes with cute hair every single day. I will be confident and carry myself that way, because I just am that way.
A slight digression: I wear glasses for driving and reading (two different prescriptions, obviously: distance and close-up). I LOVE to experiment with glasses styles! Some actually look attractive. You have to find what works for you. OK, not YOU, personally, Kath, but the general "you". Anyway, having to wear glasses isn't a sentence condemning one to dorkiness for life. Glasses can be cool. Cool glasses can be part of the "trying" thing. Just saying.
What exactly, counts for 'trying'? I'm never going to get 'fillers' or boob jobs, or tummy tucks, etc.
But I wear my hair in a becoming way, I try to dress nice and appropriately, wear make up most days, shower daily...I mean...how are we defining this?
This is what I was wondering!
Does "Trying" mean high maintenance? I've never worn makeup, I wear glasses (gasp!), I try to dress in a way that is comfortable yet flatters my body. Does this mean I've never "tried"? My husband of almost 30 years ain't complaining.
I have a feeling the OP means "trying to look younger", which is an attitude that always makes me laugh. Even the most awesomely fit and naturally attractive women I know still look their more or less their age.
What exactly, counts for 'trying'? I'm never going to get 'fillers' or boob jobs, or tummy tucks, etc.
But I wear my hair in a becoming way, I try to dress nice and appropriately, wear make up most days, shower daily...I mean...how are we defining this?
IMO, trying means putting forth some real effort. Going to the gym and keeping trim and toned. Good haircut, staying somewhat current with clothing and fashion and makeup. Age appropriate skin care regime. Not giving up on general maintenance including mani/pedi, waxing, dentist, dermatologist,
Maybe cosmetic surgery but not necessary; plenty of attractive women without the surgery.
A slight digression: I wear glasses for driving and reading (two different prescriptions, obviously: distance and close-up). I LOVE to experiment with glasses styles! Some actually look attractive. You have to find what works for you. OK, not YOU, personally, Kath, but the general "you". Anyway, having to wear glasses isn't a sentence condemning one to dorkiness for life. Glasses can be cool. Cool glasses can be part of the "trying" thing. Just saying.
Oh I know. I used to wear glasses or contacts all the time, and then just glasses - but I had cataracts and didn't realize it. Once I got the cataract surgery, I no longer have to wear glasses at all and it's a great relief.
I do, however, love me some nice big, gaudy shades.
But that's why I put in the disclaimer - I don't think it's "wrong," or even necessarily "aging" to wear glasses - or a sign of "not trying." I'm just personally happy that I no longer need them. They made me feel constrained.
IMO, trying means putting forth some real effort. Going to the gym and keeping trim and toned. Good haircut, staying somewhat current with clothing and fashion and makeup. Age appropriate skin care regime. Not giving up on general maintenance including mani/pedi, waxing, dentist, dermatologist,
Maybe cosmetic surgery but not necessary; plenty of attractive women without the surgery.
Hmmm. Well, maybe I have given up. LOL I used to get manicures, and get my nails done...but not anymore. Used to get my eyebrows waxed, but not anymore. I DO go to the gym and the dentist, but I've never been to a dermatologist...and surgeries...forgetaboutit. Oh...and I wear glasses.
Boy I really hit a nerve with the "wearing glasses" thing apparently, even though I made it very clear that I don't find anything "wrong" or "aging" about it - that I just am personally relieved that I don't have to wear glasses to see anymore since I had THE OLD LADY CATARACT SURGERY. LOL
Oh and if it makes anybody feel any better - I found out I had cataracts (hence I couldn't wear contacts any longer and my glasses prescription kept "changing") when I was only in my mid fifties - yes, 9 years from Medicare coverage - so the whole fiasco cost me a hella lotta money out of pocket. So there's that.
I wore glasses and contacts for years, years and years - even when I was 19 I was wearing glasses. That's not old and I didn't feel like they made me less attractive - they were just a hassle and I'm glad to be rid of that hassle.
Wear glasses if you want to or if you need to - I'm sure you can find some really cute frames out there and you may look absolutely smashing in them, or you may not care how you look in them - doesn't matter to me. I'm just personally glad I no longer have to mess with them.
Except when I'm wearing big, cheap shades. I love those.
Last edited by KathrynAragon; 05-25-2021 at 10:32 AM..
Boy I really hit a nerve with the "wearing glasses" thing apparently, even though I made it very clear that I don't find anything "wrong" or "aging" about it - that I just am personally relieved that I don't have to wear glasses to see anymore since I had THE OLD LADY CATARACT SURGERY. LOL
Oh and if it makes anybody feel any better - I found out I had cataracts (hence I couldn't wear contacts any longer and my glasses prescription kept "changing") when I was only in my mid fifties - yes, 9 years from Medicare coverage - so the whole fiasco cost me a hella lotta money out of pocket. So there's that.
I wore glasses and contacts for years, years and years - even when I was 19 I was wearing glasses. That's not old and I didn't feel like they made me less attractive - they were just a hassle and I'm glad to be rid of that hassle.
Wear glasses if you want to or if you need to - I'm sure you can find some really cute frames out there and you may look absolutely smashing in them, or you may not care how you look in them - doesn't matter to me. I'm just personally glad I no longer have to mess with them.
Except when I'm wearing big, cheap shades. I love those.
I, for one, didn't take any offense Kathryn. LOL
If anything, I guess this thread just goes to show we all have different ideas about maintaining. lol
You know what - this reminds me of a conversation I had with my mom, who unfortunately developed dementia. I said, "Mom, you HAVE to wear your glasses in order to see well enough to do just about anything!" and she said to me, totally seriously, "I hate wearing my glasses. They make me look older."
OK, this was an old lady. I mean, she clearly already "looked older." But what I think she meant was that when she put on her glasses, SHE could see that she "looked older." Lord have mercy!
I remember one of the many times, but the first significant time, I was prescribed glasses and they came in. I put them on and immediately said to the tech, "Oh my gosh. I look so old." I didn't mean the GLASSES made me look old. I meant that with the glasses on, I could suddenly see every line, every detail of my face. The tech laughed and said "You know what - everyone says that."
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Cool glasses can be part of the "trying" thing. Just saying.
