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I'm so sorry. This is a lot to take in and consider for you, but you seem to be taking it as well as can be expected.
One thing that I have always shared after being a part of the DNA community for 6+ years is these tests aren't for the light-hearted. You never know what you may find.
Your brother is also brave for helping you to get answers. Hugs and best wishes for you.
Also OP, and this is just a thought, maybe you should consider getting tested with 23andMe. They returned the health reports a few months back and if your father isn't your father, your genetic health reports could be very useful for you. I believe there is a discount floating around right now, if I get an email with one I will certainly pass it along to you if you are interested.
At the moment I'm just flabbergasted BUT I talked to my cousin...whose DNA didn't match...and we decided that maybe it's because he didn't do his through Ancestry. I didn't know that and just figured if he was on Ancestry that's where he did it. He did it though 23&me so, yes, I'm considering doing that one too. My brother will go ahead and do the one on Ancestry but I'm more confident about that relationship than I was this morning! lol I think the 23&me test seems to be a bit more comprehensive than the one through Ancestry? I know my cousin told me he learned things from his that I haven't seen on mine, at all.
Lucky for me my brother loves me and it won't matter one whit what we find out. Except that I would always wonder who my dad was if not who I thought he was! I remember one time when my dad actually told me that if I didn't remind him so much of HIS mom he would wonder if I were really his. My sister and I both had way more personality and looks from our maternal side than paternal so...
At the moment I'm just flabbergasted BUT I talked to my cousin...whose DNA didn't match...and we decided that maybe it's because he didn't do his through Ancestry. I didn't know that and just figured if he was on Ancestry that's where he did it. He did it though 23&me so, yes, I'm considering doing that one too. My brother will go ahead and do the one on Ancestry but I'm more confident about that relationship than I was this morning! lol I think the 23&me test seems to be a bit more comprehensive than the one through Ancestry? I know my cousin told me he learned things from his that I haven't seen on mine, at all.
Lucky for me my brother loves me and it won't matter one whit what we find out. Except that I would always wonder who my dad was if not who I thought he was! I remember one time when my dad actually told me that if I didn't remind him so much of HIS mom he would wonder if I were really his. My sister and I both had way more personality and looks from our maternal side than paternal so...
Ooohhhh! This makes so much sense.
I know that Ancestry does have the tree DNA connection. I see where you are confused. I use Ancestry for my family tree ONLY. But my actual DNA info is elsewhere, first on 23andMe. I see now.
Upload to Gedmatch for genetic info for DNA. And if you can spare it, do 23andMe. Genetic reports (I learned that I am likely lactose intolerant which I am, prone to GI issues which I am, am not likely resistant to malaria which I am not, likely to develop AD, etc) are important, too. 23andMe will also give you haplogroups. Your brother would match up there perfectly!
You can also do Prometheus but I didn't care to download the software. For the reports interesting to me I found the chromosome and SNP to read. I do want to enjoy a burger, pizza, and chips from time to time without worrying so much.
This genetic crisis is avoided. Your first stop is Gedmatch with your cousin.
At the moment I'm just flabbergasted BUT I talked to my cousin...whose DNA didn't match...and we decided that maybe it's because he didn't do his through Ancestry. I didn't know that and just figured if he was on Ancestry that's where he did it. He did it though 23&me so, yes, I'm considering doing that one too. My brother will go ahead and do the one on Ancestry but I'm more confident about that relationship than I was this morning! lol I think the 23&me test seems to be a bit more comprehensive than the one through Ancestry? I know my cousin told me he learned things from his that I haven't seen on mine, at all.
Lucky for me my brother loves me and it won't matter one whit what we find out. Except that I would always wonder who my dad was if not who I thought he was! I remember one time when my dad actually told me that if I didn't remind him so much of HIS mom he would wonder if I were really his. My sister and I both had way more personality and looks from our maternal side than paternal so...
And oh, if your cousin will refer you to 23andMe he will get a credit that you guys can use to test other family members.
I would LOVE to see the genetic info for the step-mom who raised you. Your brother will give you your dad's genetic info, including your dad's haplogroup.
Well, I finally got my results back from Ancestry. Most of it was pretty much what I expected. It shows 47% Great Britain, 32% Ireland and 21% 'other'. Another page shows the first two plus 6% Scandinavian and 1% Asia. No Native American which can only mean one of two things...Pocahontas isn't my 12th great grandmother or it's so far back in my genes as to be 'gone'. Doesn't matter either way.
The biggest surprise, so far, has been the matches they've come up with. Out of 904 'possibles' I see TWO names I actually know and they are first cousins on my maternal side. THEN I looked up a cousin on the paternal side and it says there is NO DNA match for us. What??? I looked up his sisters and same thing. So I'm wondering just what's going on here?? I know for a fact that his mom and my dad were siblings. But...was my dad my dad???? My parents married Dec. 12, 1941 and I was born 10 mos. and 4 days later so.
Another thing is that my maiden name isn't supposed to be what it was. My great great grandfather died before his son was born and grgrgrandmother raised the son along with her kids from the first marriage with the same name. So my family has never used our 'real' name and I've been looking at that other name as well but not finding much there either. I did have one distant cousin who matched the DNA for that name but that's all I've heard of.
So, a few surprises but that no DNA with first cousins is taking the cake right now. lol
From what I understand is the matriarchal and patriarchal can have different results? Not sure.
I think they usually use the matriarchal? Think you don't know fully until both are done?
I did Ancestry too, and I was not surprised about my heritage. I was surprised two weeks later to find several emails from people claiming to be my cousins, this is a family located in New Jersey, they have italian background. I also have italian great grand parents. Now this family shows up on every other DNA company, such as FTDNA, Gedmatch, etc, as my cousins as well. We are planning to eventually met. Their kids also show up as my cousins.
We have compared our Family Tree and we don't find any relationship.
I was surprised to find out I was 27% Ashkenazi Jewish. Then a confusing match percentage came back with my nephew saying we were half siblings since we share 25 +% of our dna. After asking on here about that we came to the conclusion that since we are only ten years apart in age they concluded sibling instead of nephew. Then I was contacted by a woman who believed my brother was her biological father. She has shared DNA with my fathers sisters daughter. who would be my first cousin. When we all uploaded our dna to ged match however mine did not show a relation to either the person who is supposed to be my first cousin or the woman looking for her birth father. Which is all confusing, However I do share dna with another first cousin who was my fathers other sisters son so I'm wondering now if perhaps the first cousin who I don't match to maybe was adopted? I don't know what other explanation there could be? I thought maybe my father wasn't my father but that would mean I wouldn't share dna with my other cousin either then. Then I all but convinced myself that maybe my mother slept with my fathers sisters husband resulting in me and my first cousin who I do share dna with is actually a half sibling but our percentages of shared dna would be too low for that I think. SO now I'm just shaking my head and at a total loss. AND yesterday I found out my next door neighbor whom ive been been living next door to for 11 years after moving across country to this location is my 4th cousin. Can it get any crazier?
At the moment I'm just flabbergasted BUT I talked to my cousin...whose DNA didn't match...and we decided that maybe it's because he didn't do his through Ancestry. I didn't know that and just figured if he was on Ancestry that's where he did it. He did it though 23&me so, yes, I'm considering doing that one too.
Yes, that is the reason. If you tested at different companies, they have different databases which aren't shared. But you can both still upload to Gedmatch for free and do a one to one comparison. Gedmatch accept uploads from both Ancestry and 23andMe, where it will compare regardless of which company you tested with. So there is no need to test at 23andMe too in order to settle this, you can do it for free.
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I think the 23&me test seems to be a bit more comprehensive than the one through Ancestry? I know my cousin told me he learned things from his that I haven't seen on mine, at all.
Like what? The main things 23andMe has that Ancestry doesn't is a chromosome browser, and health reports (if you spend $199 to get the health reports - if you buy it without health reports it's $99). They may have some other minor tools that AncestryDNA doesn't have, but equally, AncestryDNA has some features they don't have.
I haven't had any surprises, but I just discovered I have people I thought were cousins who aren't really genetic cousins and will have a huge surprise if they do DNA testing.
The surname they have carried for 3-4 generations is not really their surname because their 2nd-3rd grandmother gave her last 3 children the surname of her murdered husband. She, her father and her lover conspired to murder him!
At least for them there will be newspaper articles and court docs detailing the murder and conviction of their great/great/ grandfather for the murder as well as newspaper stories detailing their likely real great/great grandfather.
The big surprise is that results came back 100% in agreement with family oral history. It doesn't seem to be unusual for family tradition to be slightly (or more than slightly) wrong. Like the game of whispers, it gets changed as it passes from generation to generation.
I did find two half sisters. One of my half sisters found another half sister (from the other half, so not related to me).
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Two sides of DNA give different results?
