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If you can locate them in the family tree, they are family although some are more favored than others.
Through the power of the internet, Facebook and Kentucky ancestors who married within the family so many times that I don't even truly know the many ways I'm related to myself, I've become involved with a group of cousins that are probably on average 5th-6th cousins X times removed. It been interesting to find that we share a similar sense of humor and have some other common quirks.
I consider myself “related” to everyone that’s on my Ancestry list. However, if my parents know them, no matter how distant, I consider them family. So, like first cousins a few times removed up to 3rd cousin for me. My father is close to his cousins, so their kids and their kids’ kids are kind of where I draw the line. So, my dad has cousins who have kids who are in their late 20s-early 30s and they have kids. I have them in my tree and actively keep track of that, but much more then that, unless it’s a cool relationship (like the British royal family is super distant and I joke about them being cousins) I don’t consider them “family.” Yes, we are related, but no, we are not family.
ame - anyone that is on my tree and related by blood and not marriage is family!!!
It would depend on if there is actually a real-life relationship between these people based on family bond. Someone can be a relative, but not really 'family'. As an example, some people have ties with their second cousins and would reasonably call them 'family' but others have no idea who their second cousins are.
For example, do you still consider 4th cousins as family? 6th cousins? How about 10th cousins?
I know they are still "technically" related, but sometimes I feel like calling a 10th cousin a family member is stretching it. On the other hand, a 4th cousin is obviously more closely related since it means our Great-Grandparents are 1st cousins, so I still consider them part of my family.
Where do you draw the line as far as considering somebody as family or a cousin?
Going by my DNA matches on Ancestry, yes, I consider what they list as 4th to 6th cousins family; in a related sort of way, not as we grew up together family. We're related thru my maternal grandfathers brothers or my maternal grandmothers sisters. The next group, 5th–8th I have not identified yet nor have I identified any of the distant cousin matches.
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Originally Posted by ashbeeigh
I consider myself “related” to everyone that’s on my Ancestry list. However, if my parents know them, no matter how distant, I consider them family. So, like first cousins a few times removed up to 3rd cousin for me. My father is close to his cousins, so their kids and their kids’ kids are kind of where I draw the line. So, my dad has cousins who have kids who are in their late 20s-early 30s and they have kids. I have them in my tree and actively keep track of that, but much more then that, unless it’s a cool relationship (like the British royal family is super distant and I joke about them being cousins) I don’t consider them “family.” Yes, we are related, but no, we are not family.
Good point, there's "family" such as growing up together and being related which are 2 different things.
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Originally Posted by twinkletwinkle22
I too have a small family and genealogy is interesting so I'm happy to hear from distant cousins, especially if they have family photos to share so I can look for family resemblances.
Recently had email convo with distant branch of family that moved out west and became Mormons (my family is 50% non-religious). Photos of them showed beautiful people, much better looking than anyone in my close family.
I have no first cousins due to no child-bearing aunts and uncles (2 priests, gay uncle, father only child trifecta) but my first cousins once-removed (my fathers cousins) have always been like older cousins. As long as distant cousins don't ask for money (or a kidney OMG) and are not KKK I'd like to know who they are. Send photos lol.
LOL
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Originally Posted by YorktownGal
My grandmother was one of a dozen kids. We had big family reunions so I knew quite a few relatives. Once that generation died off, I lost ties with their families. I know my father's siblings and their children. However, I don't really like them. I consider them to be family in an abstract way, not as a real contact - like please don't show up at my door way.
Second cousins are too far removed. However, if they are nice, I wouldn't mind them as friends.
Too bad we can't pick our family because the only one I'd pick would be my dad. Having said that, I have met some cousins who's grandmother was my maternal grandmothers sister that I click really well with,
If you live in Hawaii, you can pick your family. It's called 'hanai' family or 'calabash cousins'. I think there's even some legal support for it, but I've not looked into it.
On a day to day basis, if I have their email address and we at least send holiday cards back and forth and have some however distant blood relationship, then they are 'family'. There's also the hanai family that has been collected over the years, they generally start out as 'cousins' and get upgraded to closer family later if warranted. Or fall off the radar, depending on things.
Example: I have two maternal cousins, one is the daughter of one of my mom's sisters. The other is the son of one of my mom's brothers. Female cousin and I grew up in the same area and for most of our childhoods, saw each other once a week. Male cousin did not grow up in the same area as us, and I probably saw him every other year growing up. Now, I obviously consider them both family, even though my relationship with one is closer than the other.
Now, eventually both cousins married and started families of their own. Female cousin's children, I saw frequently before I reached adulthood and joined the Army. They would get excited when I was coming into town. Male cousin's children, I have never met. One of male cousin's children is now an adult, married, and with two children of his own. I don't even know their names.
Am I still related to male cousin's children as much as I am to female cousin's children? Obviously, yes--but I have no relationship with his children. We wouldn't know each other if we passed each other on the street. For all I know, they don't even have any idea I exist. But I would consider female cousin's children to be family, and male cousin's children to be strangers.
It’s kind of cool to find out your beloved Aunt by marriage is actually a cousin. Like way removed but still. I’ve had a couple of those distant kissin’ cousin marriages in my tree. Those are the distant cousins I care about.
I consider myself “related” to everyone that’s on my Ancestry list. However, if my parents know them, no matter how distant, I consider them family. So, like first cousins a few times removed up to 3rd cousin for me. My father is close to his cousins, so their kids and their kids’ kids are kind of where I draw the line. So, my dad has cousins who have kids who are in their late 20s-early 30s and they have kids. I have them in my tree and actively keep track of that, but much more then that, unless it’s a cool relationship (like the British royal family is super distant and I joke about them being cousins) I don’t consider them “family.” Yes, we are related, but no, we are not family.
That's how I feel about it too - I don't really consider anyone I or my parents don't personally know to be family. Being distantly related doesn't make someone family.
3rd cousins, I consider family. Don't know most of my 3rd cousins or many of my 2nd cousins but I do know few due to proximity. So I would consider upto 3rd cousins as family. after that you are a stranger
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Solly says — Be nice!
