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Last fall my family relocated here to TX from CO to be closer to my siblings and to try living in a warmer climate. We have been here for about 7 months now. I have really been struggling and wake up everyday with a sick feeling in my stomach. Although we live closer to family they are still several hours away and I feel very isolated. I feel like we made a huge mistake moving here and I can't seem to stop thinking about it. It is so flat and hot here and no matter how hard I try I just can't stop thinking about how much I dislike this place. I miss CO so badly!! When we visited I really liked it and was excited to be here for the first few months but now I have settled into a sad, homesick depression. It will not be feasible for us to go back for at least a few years because my husband's job relocated us and he will need to stay for awhile to get things going here. I spend a lot of time thinking about moving somewhere else and getting out of here. I know that I do not want to stay and my husband agrees we will probably move again at some point but I feel very stuck. Our kids are still young (not in school yet) and I worry that we have put them through so much stress already...how can we up and move again in a few years.? I just know I am not meant to be a Texan.
Has anyone ever been in this type of situation? Does it get any better with time? How did you cope and how did things turn out for you? How many corporate relocations have you been through and does it get easier to move? Do you ever feel "at home" in a new location?
Location: Upstate NY native, now living in Houston
663 posts, read 2,265,409 times
Reputation: 216
You sound so much like me! It does get better with time, I think. I was relocated due to my husband's job 5 months ago from NY (to Texas!). I was miserable the first few weeks, but not as miserable as time went on. I still think about NY every day. Even when I check the time of day. Like oh, it's 2pm? Well then it's 3pm in NY. (weird, I know).
We both know that we don't want to stay here forever either. I think "home" is what you make it, though. Right now I don't feel like I am "home" because I still haven't unpacked most things and have not even put up any pictures!!
Focus on your family ..... hubby and kids ...... this will help you get through it.
Don't worry about moving your kids unless they are in the middle of school, and by that I mean past 3rd grade. Kids are so resilient and make friends easily, probably easier than you will. I have often heard that you should give it at least two years before you really feel at home in a new place. Try getting involved in a church or playgroup and make some friends, that will make it much more tolerable even if you decide to move again. Whatever you decide your kids will be fine as long as they have you.
So sorry you're that miserable. Maybe it's the heat!! I was raised in the south and always always hated it due to the friggen heat. You can't do much outdoors-it's TOOOOOOOO HOT!!!! Have you been there long enough yet to experience any cool weather? I know that,for me, I feel better in cool to really cold weather-hence our move to Alaska has been paradise to me. I'm not much help I know but do know life is made up of choices. Thank God that as Americans people are able to pick up and move where we want. Life is too short to not experience as much as you can and have fun doing it. I hope things work out for you.
We are moving tomorrow from Michigan to NOrth Carolina. I'm already sad and I haven't even got there yet. I know that it will be hard husband and I have cried all day. We have 4 kids going and three older staying that are on there own. Lots of stuff to process. I think it will be okay after awhile but will never be alright. To me where family and friends are is home./ But husband had work there and none here so it has to be.
I moved from Florida to Washington a year ago in May and I feel no better now than I did then. The only days I halfway can stand it are the ones with sun, which we have gotten quite a few lately (believe it or not). I still want to go back to Florida and will keep trying no matter what. Sorry, I guess I didn't offer much advice. Just wanted you to know that you are not alone in how you feel.
Well, you could choose to feel happy that you're living a fascinating life, instead of choosing to feel unhappy that you're living a fascinating life...
The nature of our experiences -- that is, how we feel about the events and non-events in our lives -- comes from within us, not from outside us. As long as we wait for things to "get better", our life will continue to be waiting for things to get better. Choice of feelings, thoughts, words and actions, is how we make things get better.
Some see a snowfall and get angry; some see a snowfall and get gleeful. It all comes from within us, so the power to be happy or unhappy is our choice... I wish you joy!
I feel for all of you unhappy in your new surroundings.
If you really are stuck there for awhile, then try not to dwell on it continually comparing it to where you left .. is what I'm thinking.
.. and go stand in front of the mirror telling yourself .. Be happy! Be happy! Be happy! LOL.
Just kidding .. kind of. I agree with another poster, try and focus on other stuff, family, friends, get into some art course, or grab your camera, yoga or an exercise class, swimming, volunteer at the hospital or old folks home, or spca or rescue for animals and wildlife, .. anything to get you involved and busy. Use the time constructively doing something until you can relocate somewhere else in the future.
Maybe start up a small business of some sort? or something that takes a lot of time, mundane time that you wouldn't put forth if somewhere else. Then when you move, you may be an accomplished musician, artist of some sort, entrepreneur, .. you just never know!
Try not to dwell on the fact that you hate the place, even if you do, .. cause you'll just drive yourself crazy and get depressed.
And that's no good!
I feel for you-I'm homesick for Baltimore, stuck in the pokey town I was born in.
Nowhere to go, nothing to do.....people I don't like(this is a very unfriendly place, and everyone I knew from my childhood is gone)...not even a bookstore.
Try to make the best of it, it gets better.
Pets make it a lot more bearable-never all alone with a dog by your side, and a cat purring nearby, my mice running happily in their wheel(now nursing a litter of pups in perfect rodent bliss).
Thanks everyone for the positive feedback. I know that life is what you make it and I don't want to live as if I am always "on hold" for something better. There is plenty to do here and it is overall not a bad place. I think I just need to stop dwelling on what I left behind and move forward. Fortunately I am going back to work soon so I am hoping that will help me feel more connected and if anything give me less time to dwell on being homesick!
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Have you been there long enough yet to experience any cool weather? I know that,for me, I feel better in cool to really cold weather-hence our move to Alaska has been paradise to me. I'm not much help I know but do know life is made up of choices. Thank God that as Americans people are able to pick up and move where we want. Life is too short to not experience as much as you can and have fun doing it. I hope things work out for you.
Choice of feelings, thoughts, words and actions, is how we make things get better.
