Are the people "Down South" really FAKE-FRIENDLY? (neighborhood, living in)

[vasinger]

Originally Posted by Dingler

I don't know. Do Virginians seem that way?
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I notice that once you get to Richmond the Southern Feel starts. I live in Northern Va which as all the charm of New Jersey. Northern VA is not the South.

I think Fredericksburg is where it starts. You are exaggerating about northern Vigrinia. I have been to the Northeast, and its nothing like it. Its more Southern-Lite.

[tasmtairy]

Dingler, voted "Most unique threads", where do you get this stuff?

Ok I have lived in NC for 7 years now and have talked to more strangers than in my whole live in CA. Ok I am going to Sacramento on Sept 7th to visit my DD. I will do a test and just start a conversation with strangers and see what happens. I think it's real.

As for the Hi how are you, no one really wants to know

[Natali26]

Originally Posted by JBnC

I am a southerner, and I can say that on the surface they are freindlier, but it is more of a "good manners" kind of way. I think Southerners are less direct that Northerners, so yes, somewhat fake.

I actually prefer the directness and candor of Northerners.

Well said. I am a transplanted northerner living in suburban Atlanta.

Good manners are an ingrained part of Southern culture and displays of anger or rudeness will get you ostricized from a group VERY QUICKLY here. Females are particularly "fake" in the South with indirect passive-aggressive behavior (i.e., shutting others out with a smile). Complete opposite rules from Nothern culture where emotion is considered a part of being "real."

[photobuff42]

I'm a Southerner. I have excellent manners but don't hesitate to be direct when necessary.

[lizziebeth]

Originally Posted by Galounger

I grew up in the south and lived in the midwest for years. If by friendly you mean extroverted and more open with others including strangers, then yeah southerners are definetly more friendly and it's not an act.

People down south are much more likely to strike up a conversation, give a greeting, or just smile than people up North and I don't think it's because they necessarily have some kind of alterior motive it just comes natural in most settings.

Does that mean southerners are incapable of being rude, gossipy, talk about someone behind their back etc. Of course not.

Some southerners are even downright rude, but I find it's much easier to talk a rude southerner into showing some manners and even get an apology than to get that same result from a rude northerner.

As someone who has lived in D.C., the midwest and the south, I agree with Galounger. If you'd rather hang out with folks who have all the charm and politeness of the Soup Nazi, go for it. I much prefer those who are friendly even if I know that when they ask "how are you", it's a polite inquiry and not an invitation to give them a rundown of my life. I rarely get the feeling that people in my city are fake-friendly and my city has the unwarranted rep (esp on this site) for having the majority of residents being fake. Nothing wrong with a little civility and a smile.

[Towhee]

When I first moved here thirty years ago I think people were more friendly with you if you were just passing through. If you were a newcomer, they tended to be more suspicious of you. It took a long time to gain the trust of the 'locals' in most cases.
Now that I am 'one of them' I don't know if it is still that way...it may be.... I think I may tend to be that way.

[the_pines]

No it is not fake if you're going to generalize every southerner. People are people.

[maddy1980]

You have a valid point here. I personally believe us southerners are more friendly but we were trained to be that way from birth. When I lived in nyc and I would always answer to people with yes mam, yes sir they were shocked and disgusted at the same time lol. The people in nyc hate to be reminded of thier age so they prefer if we not be so formal when answering to them. Meanwhile in the south it is considered disrespectful to answer people without saying yes sir or yes mam. Especially if they or either older and or your school teacher, and employers etc.

[Bass&Catfish2008]

Originally Posted by Dingler

Every time I go to a Southern State I am impressed with how friendly most of the people are. When I go back home and tell people about it, the common statement is that the friendliness down South is not real. I am told the friendliness is actually a form of passive aggressive behavior and instead the people really do not like me but were told by their parents to act polite and friendly to everyone. In reality, they are talking nasty about me behind my back as soon as I leave.

Can this be true? Is southern hospitality a fake?

Nah, by in large southern hospitality is the real deal. There are some bad apples of course (just like anywhere) that are not genuine. For the most part, however, you will not find folks anywhere near as friendly and outgoing as in the South. And I'm not speaking as someone that has never moved out of my hometown....lived on East & West Coast and visited the Midwest and there ain't nobody like good 'ol southern folks. Of course, I'm partial to my south-central peeps from Oklahoma/Texas.:-)

[zeninthesmoke]

Originally Posted by vasinger

I think Fredericksburg is where it starts. You are exaggerating about northern Vigrinia. I have been to the Northeast, and its nothing like it. Its more Southern-Lite.

Southern-lite. That's pretty much right, although the sprawling developments of condos and McMansions and the ubiquity of Best Buys and malls and PF Changs and other assorted middle class banality give it the feel of New Jersey or suburban Philly.

I grew up in Falls Church, VA. Make no mistake people, it's not the "south" as it is commonly known. But then again, suburbs are suburbs regardless of where you are in the country. Northern Virginia (and likewise, suburban Maryland) are really just extensions of D.C.

It's the area that's caught between the South and the North. Pretty ambiguous.