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I'm looking to move to a city that would be good for a single girl in get 30's. I currently live in San Diego and I think I'm over California. I definitely don't want to move to a college town. I was thinking of trying Miami, Texas, or Chicago. Anyone have any suggestions or comments to help me out. Thanks!
Miami or Fort Lauderdale would be good options, but I recommend trying it out first as a lot of people find it tough to live here. It also depends on your interests? What I like about it here is that no one cares about your marital status or age. It's common to see people in their 40's still going to clubs and bars, whereas that might be frowned on elsewhere. As a woman, you will have to adjust to getting a bit more in the way of male attention than you may be used to as it's quite a different culture.
One city that doesn't get a lot of attention that is pretty good for singles is New Orleans. It's a great place to be single if you want to stay that way or want a low-commitment relationship. The party atmosphere extends for people well into their forties and fifties, and I think that's why there are so many good bars and restaurants there. People aren't having kids, by and large--it's a lousy place to raise a family because public schools are generally out of the question (even in most of the suburbs) and the crime is so high. And it's a great place for random hey-how-do-you-do situations at quirky events. New Orleanians really come out in droves for special events in the city, just to mingle. I know tons of people into their thirties and forties who are persistently single or not in a serious relationship, with no plans to have kids. That's not something you can say about most southern cities, where the people tend to settle down at a very young age, sometimes even in the early twenties or late teens. So New Orleans is an oddity in the Bible Belt in more ways than one.
Now, the Big Easy is not a good place for someone seeking to find a soul mate. People there just aren't interested in commitment. They'd rather let the good times roll than have to give that up and divert their drinking money to the act of raising children. The locals who grew up there and have stayed are persistently childless, while the ones who grew up but wanted to raise a family often moved to a city that's more conducive. Obviously this is all a generalization, but I'd still say New Orleans is great if you're into the single life.
As I am not American and have only lived in certain parts of the country, I wanted to gauge opinions on which cities and states are best for single people and which cities and states are worst, along with your reasos why.
I ask because I have generally found many parts of the US to be a tad more unfriendly to those choosing the single lifestyle, or those who have simply not found the right person, or who don't feel inclined to buy into the "you have to be in a relationship and have kids" crap.
Aside from the obvious choice, which would be New York (you can live any lifestyle there), Miami would certainly be up there, along with San Francisco and Los Angeles. In general, I have found California to be one part of the US where you can truly be yourself.
Not so favourable would be Massachusetts and New England in general. It is extremely family oriented here and most people you see in supermarkets are with a partner and/or their children. Even Boston itself seems very family oriented aside from the large student population.
I would also guess that much of the south is not so great for singles because of the more traditional lifestyles and the influence of religion?
At the end of the day, I would just want to live somewhere where I am not seemingly solely surrounded by people who are parents or soon to be parents. This can be particularly problematic at work when most conversations pertain to raising children. I also want to be able to not feel like parents look at me weird for good to state & national parks alone, as if I'm going to steal their children or give a damn about anything else but nature.
So what are your thoughts? Where would you live and not live in the US if you were single and wanted to be that way without feeling the pressure to conform? Recommend places where adults still have active social lives and hobbies well into their 30's, 40's and even 50's.
Wouldn't the answer be something like, 'the state that taxes singles more', 'states where singles can't get drivers licenses', 'states that charge families the same as singles for....anything', 'states where single servings containers are illegal', or some such?
Also, rarely do I see a man pay for a ladies drink
haha...
So, Miami it's easy to meet new people. People are generally friendly at bars and I always see people socializing with others they did not arrive with. Buying each other drinks instead of splitting one bill with 3 credit cards. The lifestyle is certainly more conducive to being single and may even make it difficult for one to want to stay in a committed relationship.
Men tend to pay for women's drinks.People in Miami like to dance and so many interesting people gravitate there, you'll be amazed at how many different types of people with different backgrounds you will meet at the beach, starbucks, or in your apartment building.
Relationships can be more superficial down there, but it's all about what works better for you.
hahaha lemme guess you're female
Men tend to buy girl's drink more in Miami because the lifestyle is more about flash and style and living large. A man buying a girl a drink right off the bat is as much bragging about his money as offering a kind gesture to get to know a person (and if he really doesn't have the money, he's just being desperate). Also, dating is more old fashioned in Miami, it's about men chasing girls and courting them hard. In Boston it's some sorta stuffy, weird PC dance.
I had a great time in Miami when I was younger. I loved to dance, and I had some money to burn and live large. But that doesn't change it, Miami is better for girls than for men in the singles scene. That outburst in the bar you described in boston is more appropriate in Miami than boston.
Here's a story for you to describe a scene in Miami (and while this goes all around, it applies to some cities more than others and Miami is ONE of them). I had some connections to the owners and bouncers of a famous club in south beach (Nikkis beach actually). On my way back inside with my friend to meet more of our friends in the club, and wading through the mess of people and girls waiting in desperation to enter, we just pick up 2 girls each without hesitation wrapped on our arms promising them nothing more than immediate entry into the club. Of course, it's all flash. I (nor him) were really rich. We were living fast and on fumes. But the girls got to live out a dream, we made them feel like princesses and they made us feel like kings. In the end, our subsequent relationships were all flash too. Quick, energetic but over like that.
That's Miami in a nutshell. For the guy with the stuff (or who can fake it for a bit like us) it's heaven but for the average guy looking for something more honest, miami will be hard. A girl will have much better luck strangely.
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