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Having lived in the area for seven years I found Raleigh had much more of a visible conservative/right wing underbelly that wasn't as appealing to be around being a gay male myself (as is the OP). Durham-Chapel Hill-Carrboro is more progressive and welcoming from that standpoint in my opinion.
Asheville pops to mind when someone says liberal but it falls down in these categories:
- A major state university within an hour (or in the university town itself)
- Big city within 2 hours (or in the big city itself) **** OK maybe Charlotte but is Charlotte a cultural draw? - I'd go 3 hours to Atlanta.****
- Housing I can afford on a $40,000 to $65,000 salary **** this could be hard in Asheville****
- Driving distance to a waterfront (ocean or lake) is a plus. **** there are some nice lakes in upstate SC, but not that close.****
I think the Nashville suggestion is good. Lots of universities, a big lake just east of town. Housing it getting pricey but it may be do-able. Some liberal leaning neighborhoods. It's getting to be a pretty big city, too.
Plus it is closest to your mom if she has a health crisis.