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I keep trying to finish this thread as I stated many posts ago, and people like you who don't bother to read previous replies keep replying (none quite as obnoxious as you).
No one is forcing you to continue the thread.
However, if you are truly concerned about your GD's health, then doing anything from an ocean away is going to be terribly difficult.
Talk to your son about it. Of course, if he is obese then he obviously doesn't understand healthy eating.
Other than that, I would send her books about adventurous girls (sort of like the old Nancy Drew mysteries), and in roundabout ways, WITHOUT mentioning weight, encourage her to do things that require movement.
Ballet, gymnastics, swimming, etc.
Perhaps you could pay for swimming lessons, tennis lessons, or the like.
If nothing works, you'll have no alternative but to accept that your GD is tubby.
Golly, I hate to say this, but we are in the same boat now as the OP! We just found out this morning on Facebook that our 12 yr old grandson is 5'7" and weighs 212 lbs! Like the OP, we live numerous miles away from grandson. From looking at photos on Facebook of daughter, she's a little plump, but that's it. From looking at photos on Facebook of grandson, we could tell some weight was there, but didn't think THIS much. Daughter and myself have had an estranged relationship for years, so I really don't want to bring up anything about this, but wonder why she doesn't see it......or maybe she does and simply avoids it. I'm 62, 6'1" and weigh 227. This kid is 12 and weighs close to what I do! Unreal!
Guess, somethings people can do things about and other things just have to be left alone!
Perhaps it's just my 'hood' (I'm from Ohio, but now in Utah) , but, all but one kid in my daughter's class are, what I'd call 'skinny'. The one kid isn't obese at all, IMO. He's more 'stocky' or 'husky'. Our school pushes veggies everyday & encourages exercise & gives kids in school (K-6th) a lunch recess, plus another. Well, K is 1/2 day, so, more just 1st-6th, 2 recesses. lol My kids don't eat the best, but, I do encourage them to go outside to play. We have snow now, but, my son & his friend sleeping over spoke of snowball fights on Sat. =) My kids just need boots now. lol
I adore my granddaughter and I hate to see her miserable and unhealthy. Her obesity is not her fault. Her mother equates food with love and nags her daughter to clean her plate even when she says she's full. She bribes her with chocolate bars. Favorite food, which she eats frequently - macaroni and cheese.
I don't know if I can report them - that would be very hard.
I will see them at xmas, and if my dil says one more time that her daughter is solid, I'm going to lose it!
You know what I would do? I would sit them down and not talk... but as you say Lost It. This is NOT a borderline issue. I am usually 150% in the stay out of it camp. But this is a life threatening issue. My brother is type 2 diabetic. (Adult though.) He is going BLIND. BLIND. Diabetes is a horrifying illness. And KIDS are getting type 2, usually brought on by obesity, diabetes.
Sit them down, TIE them down. Tell them you are my son and daughter in law. I love you. You are killing yourself with your life style choices. Your daughter is not "solid" she is FAT. Your are FAT. There is ismply no way her pediatrician has not told them that she needs to lose weight. If you can offer to pay for family counseling some Mom and Dad can get a healthy relationship with both food AND love, offer that.
No more hand wringing. This kid needs an advocate. When grand daughter says she is full at teh dinner table, say Ok honey and take her plate before Mom can do anything...
Quote:
She's not solid, it's all fat. Last xmas we went to a kids museum and they had a scale that my 10 year old niece got on, then my 3 year old granddaughter got on. The niece was just a couple of pounds more (and is very tall). My dil was shocked but nothing changed.
Sadly, I too have an overweight Granddaughter. She is 5 and is 80lbs. She is very active. However, my daughter and son in law work long hours and feed her and her sibling take out or quick junk food. I don't "say" anything, I just plant ideas by saying things like "here are some quick and easy healthy meal ideas." I also keep healthy snacks on hand here at my house. I also take her to parks and swimming. Her sibling is the opposite, so skinny, and doesn't each much!
Sorry, but say nothing. You will be seen as the evil Grandmother if you say anything. And the parents can isolate from your Granddaughter's life. Your best action is to develop a relationship with the child, maintain relationship with parents, and when your granddaughter is older, provide support for her if she is overweight and wants to diet.
Also, contrary to what most people think, overwieght people can be healthy, or healthier than "thin looking people", and can actually have happy, productive lives. Imagine that.
Withdrawn...........amazing necro on my part, more than a decade a record for me!
Sadly, I too have an overweight Granddaughter. She is 5 and is 80lbs. She is very active. However, my daughter and son in law work long hours and feed her and her sibling take out or quick junk food. I don't "say" anything, I just plant ideas by saying things like "here are some quick and easy healthy meal ideas." I also keep healthy snacks on hand here at my house. I also take her to parks and swimming. Her sibling is the opposite, so skinny, and doesn't each much!
If you call Child Protective Services and they feel that being fat is child abuse, they will remove your granddaughter from her home and place her in a foster home. Pediatricians are mandatory reporters of child abuse. Clearly the doctor doesn't feel this rises to that level.
Do you really think that's the best solution?
"When children are beaten or sexually molested, the justification for taking them out of the home is clear: the caretakers are violating the rights of their children. Similarly, with neglect, caretakers are failing to provide their children the necessities to which they are entitled. The central question that I want to address in this article is whether the actions (or inaction) of caretakers that allow a child to become obese are morally or practically analogous to physical abuse or neglect. Ultimately, I will argue that parenting that allows a child to become obese is so morally different from both abuse and neglect that it is best understood as falling outside these categories altogether. This conclusion has important moral, practical, and legal implications."
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