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Yank, unfortunately there really isn't anything you can do to make the parents change. Maybe they'll wake up when the child comes home from school crying and miserable because she's being made fun of. Maybe they'll open their eyes when the pediatrician tells them the blood tests shows the child has developed diabetes.
Do you ever have the child come visit you? Maybe if you have her over for a week, you can introduce her to a healthy way of eating --- -salads, fruit, etc --- and take her for walks, bike riding, or to a park to play.
I have a friend with 2 daughters 10/11 years old. The both of them are completely obese (about 4' 10" tall and 150-160 lbs). Neither can do any physical activities without becoming winded or turning bright red, and both could easily eat a trucker under the table. She sees nothing wrong. Yes, she knows they're both obese but she's "hoping" they'll outgrow it or "thin out". She refuses to admit it's not going to happen without her doing something about it. People (inluding her parents, her in-laws, her sisters/brothers, other family members) have spoken to her about it, but she won't take the time to do anything about it. It's really a shame because these are 2 great girls but they're having such a hard go of it now --- I can't even imagine what they're going to go through as they get older and kids get nasty with comments, not to mention the health problems they will develop.
I live in a different country than my granddaughter - I'm in Scotland, she's in the US. So I see her twice a year for a few weeks. When we are at relatives home, like at xmas, her mother is always surprised at how much my granddaughter loves grapes, other fruit, raw veg, and will sometimes ignore the other food in favor of it.
My granddaughter is not obsessed with food, her parents are. She is fed high fat food as the main part of her diet. I was chatting with her on Skype the other day and she helped herself to a giant chocolate chip cookie w/o asking her dad, so she has free reign.
I had hope last year when my obese son went to the doctor for a physical. I don't know what the doctor told him (he wouldn't tell) but I think it scared him as he went on a (part-time) diet. When we had that exchange a few months ago about granddaughter's BMI they said they were taking it seriously and would put her on a diet as well. But how long did that last?
I won't report them but it had crossed my mind. I can only hope her pediatrician scares the hell out of them sometime. I thought about sending them a book about raising a healthy child, or the consequences of childhood obesity. Bad idea?
They might take it as an insult. Just how much do you want to keep the relationship with the parents?
There is a point you cannot cross. I would however keep mentioning it in conversation but not to the point of nagging. Delicate I know.
Better to keep up the dialogue with the child but again dont nag her when you are not there to help her.
They might take it as an insult. Just how much do you want to keep the relationship with the parents?
There is a point you cannot cross. I would however keep mentioning it in conversation but not to the point of nagging. Delicate I know.
Better to keep up the dialogue with the child but again dont nag her when you are not there to help her.
Yea, that's the thing isn't it? The father is my youngest son and I don't want to jeopardize my relationship with him.
I don't think the book is a good idea. They'll get insulted/angry and may even acuse you of being obsessed over the issue.
Maybe for the holidays, you can send them an "edible arrangement" --- www.ediblearrangements.com ---- I don't know if you have them where you are, but they're fruit arrangements that look like flower arrangements. You can order them online and have it shipped to your grand-daughter as a Thanksgiving gift. They have different themes (Disney, Spongebob, etc) and they're filled with all sorts of fruit. Maybe if you get her one of these, she'll start asking her parents for more fruits to eat rather than junk food.
Send a book or if they have a commputer,hyperlink of different websites that are helpful to kids struggling with obesity. You can "speak the truth with love" whether they listen or not is a different story. Is there any chance you can build a closer relationship with your grand daughter through letter writing, phone calls, etc. and encourage/teach her about healthier eating habits. In other words, go around her parents but not in a disrespectful way?
Send a book or if they have a commputer,hyperlink of different websites that are helpful to kids struggling with obesity. You can "speak the truth with love" whether they listen or not is a different story. Is there any chance you can build a closer relationship with your grand daughter through letter writing, phone calls, etc. and encourage/teach her about healthier eating habits. In other words, go around her parents but not in a disrespectful way?
She's only 4 so discussing healthy eating will be a bit over her head. But I can buy her a fruit basket at xmas or send the family one for thanksgiving. She is a big fruit lover but her parents aren't so it's rarely in their house. I could give her books about food for xmas although she doesn't read yet.
My 4 year old granddaughter is obese and at the rate she is gaining will be grossly obese soon. Her parents are obese - my son began getting fat in his late 20's. They all have a horrid high fat, low exercise diet and they push their daughter to eat, even though she sometimes just wants fruit for a meal.
I'm very worried and everybody tells me to just stay out of it as there is nothing I can. It's hard to watch this as I know she's in for a very unhealthy, unhappy life. I live thousands of miles away so only see them twice a year.
Being thta you are so far away, there really isn't anything you can do. It is very sad that her parents are setting her up for a lifetime of unhappiness and possible chronic illness because of her poor eating habits. You can try to talk to the mom, but since she is essentially in the same boat, there is not much you can do.
Just try to get her to eat well when she is home. When she gets a little older maybe peer pressure will encourage her to lose some weight, but then you risk her falling into a pattern of an eating disorder so you have to be careful what you say there too.
She's only 4 so discussing healthy eating will be a bit over her head. But I can buy her a fruit basket at xmas or send the family one for thanksgiving. She is a big fruit lover but her parents aren't so it's rarely in their house. I could give her books about food for xmas although she doesn't read yet.
I speak to her on Skype with webcam.
After reading your post I was thinking that you might want to enroll them in a fruit of the month club for a Thanksgiving/Christmas gift. That way fresh fruit would be delivered to their house every month of the year for your dear granddaughter. I think sending a book or broaching this subject in any other manner would not be wise. They know what obesity is and they just don't seem to care. I'm sorry you have to deal with this.
After reading your post I was thinking that you might want to enroll them in a fruit of the month club for a Thanksgiving/Christmas gift. That way fresh fruit would be delivered to their house every month of the year for your dear granddaughter. I think sending a book or broaching this subject in any other manner would not be wise. They know what obesity is and they just don't seem to care. I'm sorry you have to deal with this.
Thanks. I'm going to pay for her to go to a soccer club, and maybe a preschool as she's not in one now.
They do know on some level that obesity is bad but they don't want to think about it, so their heads are in the sand.
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