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My 4 year old granddaughter is obese and at the rate she is gaining will be grossly obese soon. Her parents are obese - my son began getting fat in his late 20's. They all have a horrid high fat, low exercise diet and they push their daughter to eat, even though she sometimes just wants fruit for a meal.
I'm very worried and everybody tells me to just stay out of it as there is nothing I can. It's hard to watch this as I know she's in for a very unhealthy, unhappy life. I live thousands of miles away so only see them twice a year.
Sorry, but say nothing. You will be seen as the evil Grandmother if you say anything. And the parents can isolate from your Granddaughter's life. Your best action is to develop a relationship with the child, maintain relationship with parents, and when your granddaughter is older, provide support for her if she is overweight and wants to diet.
Also, contrary to what most people think, overwieght people can be healthy, or healthier than "thin looking people", and can actually have happy, productive lives. Imagine that.
Last edited by kek1993; 11-01-2009 at 02:21 PM..
Reason: sp
You can be healthy if you are overweight, but not if you are grossly obese. Just a few months ago I was told her weight and height and according to official sources on the internet she weighed 50% more than was healthy for her age.
Being really overweight is so hard for kids as they go through their school years. It just affects their whole social world and self esteem. I'm one of those kids of grandmothers who would say something regardless of whether my kids got mad or not. They have to know you are right....they just are in denial. For the sake of the child, perhaps you could just sit down and talk to them.
Obesity isn't all about how it looks or the psychological damage she'll suffer. Obese kids are at a very high risk of getting diabetes. Parents have their heads in the sand and don't want to know how bad it is for them and their kids to be obese and eat such a horrid diet--they don't want to see anything wrong with it. I did send them a comment on facebook months ago when they posted a pic of granddaughter looking so huge. My dil told me that her height and weight and said she looked up the BMI online and it said that her weight was fine for her weight (yea, for an ADULT with muscle and heavier bones). So I looked up how much for kids and got a long paragraph about how this child was at risk for diabetes, future heart problems etc etc etc and sent the details to DIL. Parents said they were taking it seriously and watching what she eats, especially since my son had been put on a diet by his doctor. That didn't last long.
In the UK there was a case where the child was so grossly obese social workers told the mother if something didn't change they would take her child and put him in a foster home. She would be charged with child abuse. Went to court but they didn't take the child away.
Family says I need to stay out of it, but am I supposed to watch my only grandchild's mental and physical health destroyed because her parents are addicted to high fat, crappy food and refuse to give it up. They look around and see that everybody else is fat and think it's okay. Was hoping when they take her to a doctor that he/she will jump all over them and scare them about the consequences of her weight.
It is really up to the parents to control their food so there is not much you can do about that. What you could do to help, besides praying if you are religious, is to give them toys to encourage them to be more active. If you can afford it buy them a Wii board and a Wii fit plus game or give them lessons (basketball, soccer, ice skating, swimming etc.).
My granddaughter loves to play soccer, ride the bike I bought her last xmas and just run around. But her lazy parents won't participate, so it doesn't happen often. I read somewhere recently that about 1 in 3 of American children born after 2000 will develop diabetes due to bad diet.
It's happening everywhere. It's not the US anymore - they are fat in the UK, in Australia, even in China. We're just eating differently than we used to years ago. Too much cheap junk food available.
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