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The big problem is not that they think too highly of themselves. Their bigger challenge is conflict negotiation, and they often are unable to think for themselves. The overinvolvement of helicopter parents prevents children from learning how to grapple with disappointments on their own. If parents are navigating every minor situation for their kids, kids never learn to deal with conflict on their own. Helicopter parenting has caused these kids to crash land.
That, and overpraising. The idea of "every child should get a trophy for participating" didn't do much good. Neither did "we should tell them they do a good job no matter what." That's why in elementary school, it was necessary to receive critique on our penmanship, how well we solved arithmetic problems, and how well we expressed our ideas in writing. There is a distinction between criticizing the child, and constructively criticizing the work. However somehow the line between the two got blurred and the correction to the problem was Make EveryBody Feel Happy.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jade408
I saw a thread in one of the forums. A 25 year old was lamenting that he didn't have the sort of professional success he felt he should have at that age, and he didn't think he would be successful in his career. I thought to myself, exactly what sort of professional success are you supposed to have at 25, isn't having a job and getting decent performance reviews pretty good progress?
Then we have people like Elliot Rodgers who feel "entitled" to women, sex and relationships.
Other young adults think they are failures if they aren't millionaires by 27.
They have grown up in a time where regular joes become reality stars and millionaires for doing nothing remarkable. And other people become millionaires by posting videos of their lives and opinions on youtube.
This generation of young adults is the first to grow up in the the "everyone is a winner" culture, where everyone gets a trophy for showing up. They were scheduled and scheduled from school to play making them both sheltered from reality, dependent on their parents for entertainment and transportation, controlled by helicopter parents afraid to let them cross the street alone or play outside, and had limited "unstructured time" to develop opinions and self identity.
Essentially the young people of today have been both coddled and treated like they were exceptional from birth. On the up note they are both confident, motivated and high achieving. But maybe we have groomed these young adult to expect too much and expect that it will all come easily.
So have we failed our young adults?
As a 26 year old millennial, I'll chime in my perspective.
As far as the question of "have we failed young adults?" My answer would be not necessarily. However, has there been a culture created that works to the detriment of millennials combined with an actual transition in the labor market that is hitting everyone below the belt.
As far as the culture goes, I really doubt that the "everyone is a winner and gets a trophy" thing is as widespread as people on here say it is. At least that was not my experience growing up in Virginia. A lot of people would say that I had more obstacles to deal with but I learned to be more independent and creative coming up in a single parent home as an only child. I spent my days after school either outside with my friends or inside with myself while mom was at work so I always found a way to entertain myself.
I think with the society at large becoming more materialistic and desiring fame more, millennials are just jumping in and wanting their share.
As far as the job situation goes. I think that is a combination of regional and peer pressure combined with the student debt crisis of today. My situation: I work in a entry-level banking job that does not require a college degree and I make around $40-41k from that job and I've been there two years. I have a Bachelor's degree in Business Management which I ended up with around $30k in loans to get, even after doing the "smart things" of going to community college and then transferring to an inexpensive private non-profit university. I feel frustrated because I cannot get out of the same level of job I've been doing for the majority of my working career, which started at age 17 in HS. Yeah, I have received good performance reviews, yeah I have a decent job in this economy, but I feel that no one wants or trusts me to do more. This after I volunteered for a lot of projects for work but I've gone for three promotions and it has always been just not ready or I wasn't the "right fit." Now I'm permanently jaded with my current company and will leave as soon as I find something better. I've made contacts with other companies. I'm going to grad school only because for the field I want to work in, the university has a top reputation and a lot of connections.
My peers who have had more advantages and/or had parents with deeper pockets, are in more "adult" jobs making $50-60k and more. It is a natural subconscious thing to compare myself to them, especially living here in the DC area. Plus being patient ain't going to get my student loans paid or help pay my rent in an increasing expensive metro area that actually has jobs.
As far as work-life balance, am I the only one who thinks in most cases if 10-12 hour days are frequent your boss should be slapping you upside the head instead of thinking you are a "dedicated worker?" I'm not going to work for show by staying from 7am-7pm. Moderator cut: language I work for efficiency. I should not be punished because it only takes me 7 or 8 hours to do what other idiots get done in 10 to 12 hours. I have a life outside the office, sue me.
So, rant over. Young adults were not failed because they still have time to turn around. However, there are a lot more obstacles than any other generation had to face at the same time, some of them created by the older generation.
So, rant over. Young adults were not failed because they still have time to turn around. However, there are a lot more obstacles than any other generation had to face at the same time, some of them created by the older generation.
Here is where we disagree. Did you see my earlier post about Vietnam and its influence on my generation? Granted, this recession is the worst in my memory, but it hit its trough in 2009 (the year both my kids graduated from college/professional school), and most of the YAs I know, including some who are in their early 20s, have jobs. I'm not sure what other obstacles you're referring to.
That, and overpraising. The idea of "every child should get a trophy for participating" didn't do much good. Neither did "we should tell them they do a good job no matter what." That's why in elementary school, it was necessary to receive critique on our penmanship, how well we solved arithmetic problems, and how well we expressed our ideas in writing. There is a distinction between criticizing the child, and constructively criticizing the work. However somehow the line between the two got blurred and the correction to the problem was Make EveryBody Feel Happy.
Absolutely. Same with giving awards to all children who participate. That never existed before. Who started that unreasonable, fairy tale view of the world? It doesn't allow children to learn any reality, so they're unprepared for the real world.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Katiana
Here is where we disagree. Did you see my earlier post about Vietnam and its influence on my generation? Granted, this recession is the worst in my memory, but it hit its trough in 2009 (the year both my kids graduated from college/professional school), and most of the YAs I know, including some who are in their early 20s, have jobs. I'm not sure what other obstacles you're referring to.
Gen Y had Afghanistan, Iraq, the financial crisis, Sept 11, hyper-inflated tuition and rent, automation all at the same time.
Gen Y had Afghanistan, Iraq, the financial crisis, Sept 11, hyper-inflated tuition and rent, automation all at the same time.
Afghanistan and Iraq involved volunteers, not draftees.
There's always something. Yes, Sept. 11 was bad, the largest act of terrorism on US soil. l But unless you were involved in it, how does that play into things?
Automation? People have been complaining about that for half a century!
That, and overpraising. The idea of "every child should get a trophy for participating" didn't do much good. Neither did "we should tell them they do a good job no matter what." That's why in elementary school, it was necessary to receive critique on our penmanship, how well we solved arithmetic problems, and how well we expressed our ideas in writing. There is a distinction between criticizing the child, and constructively criticizing the work. However somehow the line between the two got blurred and the correction to the problem was Make EveryBody Feel Happy.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Saritaschihuahua
Absolutely. Same with giving awards to all children who participate. That never existed before. Who started that unreasonable, fairy tale view of the world? It doesn't allow children to learn any reality, so they're unprepared for the real world.
"Everyone gets a trophy" doesn't really exist.
This continued refrain of 'everyone gets a trophy' ~ has no basis in reality IF one has ever raised a middle school or high school athlete. MANY - don't make the team. MANY - sit on the bench if they do make the team. MANY realize far too young their pecking order in high school and middle school. If you've ever consoled a teen-ager in this situation - you would quickly realize that NOT everyone gets a trophy. Ugh. So tired of hearing that.
The pressure on these 'athletes' is ENORMOUS from overzealous parents, I'll give you that.
There is a HUGE focus on athletics beginning in first grade, I'll give you that too.
But it's a fallacy to think that every middle school/high school athlete 'get a trophy'. Most don't even make the team.
They know where they stand in terms of ability; it's hammered home at every game, every meet, etc.
This continued refrain of 'everyone gets a trophy' ~ has no basis in reality IF one has ever raised a middle school or high school athlete. MANY - don't make the team. MANY - sit on the bench if they do make the team. MANY realize far too young their pecking order in high school and middle school. If you've ever consoled a teen-ager in this situation - you would quickly realize that NOT everyone gets a trophy. Ugh. So tired of hearing that.
The pressure on these 'athletes' is ENORMOUS from overzealous parents, I'll give you that.
There is a HUGE focus on athletics beginning in first grade, I'll give you that too.
But it's a fallacy to think that every middle school/high school athlete 'get a trophy'. Most don't even make the team.
They know where they stand in terms of ability; it's hammered home at every game, every meet, etc.
Are you kidding me? It exists even if we don't want it to. Have you seen how offended parents get when they see other people have "Proud Parent of an Honor Student at Blahblah school"?
The trophy thing ends in middle school. There is a lot of philosophy in elementary schools to award children just for making an attempt, instead of how well they worked and their achievements. Children start to formulate their ideas about achievement and expectations well before middle school. Why else is the pecking order so rough on many of them in middle school and high school? It's not because they learned to compete, achieve, receive criticism or be awarded for high quality hard work.
This continued refrain of 'everyone gets a trophy' ~ has no basis in reality IF one has ever raised a middle school or high school athlete. MANY - don't make the team. MANY - sit on the bench if they do make the team. MANY realize far too young their pecking order in high school and middle school. If you've ever consoled a teen-ager in this situation - you would quickly realize that NOT everyone gets a trophy. Ugh. So tired of hearing that.
The pressure on these 'athletes' is ENORMOUS from overzealous parents, I'll give you that.
There is a HUGE focus on athletics beginning in first grade, I'll give you that too.
But it's a fallacy to think that every middle school/high school athlete 'get a trophy'. Most don't even make the team.
They know where they stand in terms of ability; it's hammered home at every game, every meet, etc.
Maybe not in high school and college?
I have been present at various events in which everyone received a prize or award because I have nieces and nephews.
no. A persons failure at the end of the day is all on them, however...
This generation of adults was raised either by parents who spoiled them or not raised at all.
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around. However, there are a lot more obstacles than any other generation had to face at the same time, some of them created by the older generation.
