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I really don't like chatty servers either. Sometimes we initiate conversation with servers and have fun but when we're talking to each other I really don't like being interrupted.
Not sure if this thread belongs on this particular forum. But this question is for waiters in USA. Why do American waiters talk and have conversations with the table they are waiting on? I don't think its for better tip but I find it very rude. If its a party then why can't the waiter just take our order. This happens so much in the states. I lived there long time so now I am in Europe and it doesn't happen here. Is there a places or region in the states where this is not common?
Well, in Europe a restaurant server is professional career choice; they are trained as such, treated as such, and paid as such (with salary, not tips).
Most servers in the U.S. are younger and most likely just trying to be friendly because most likely the restaurant told them to be. Some might be trying to "work your table" for extra tip money but honestly they are just likely being friendly.
Not sure what you mean by "talk and have conversations". If the waiter actually has the time to have a conversation with a table than it most be really slow and all (or nearly all) side-work done.
Quote:
Originally Posted by reneeh63
So true! And here's the variation on this - I hate being asked "Are you done yet?" or even worse "Are you still workin' on that?" At least ask if I'm "finished" or look to see that my flatware is arranged on my plate!
They also don't know to wait to take your order until you've put your menu down. So many times when I'm at a new restaurant they come back 30 seconds after giving me the menu...when you're not ready, then they make you wait 15 minutes before coming back around!
When you work as a sever you literally deal with all kinds of people on a daily basis. Some want you to take their order and then not talk to you again until they want to pay their check. Others will think it rude if you do not stop by the table every few minutes and ask if they are done, need something, and so on. Some will ask you very random, and sometimes personal, questions and others will shoot darts at you if you come anywhere near their table. The truth is that it is not the 1940s anymore and dining etiquette is non-existant; what one customer abhors another wants and another fully expects. You cannot be everything to everyone customer so you adopt to doing things one way--usually the one that seems to be a good medium--and set that to be your default customer-service mode.
And yes, some customers will get miffed if you do not ask them "are you still working on that?"
Quote:
Originally Posted by etacarinae
Some waitstaff do , but it does not bother me. You never know , you may end up with a good friend , or any multitude of possible scenario may arise from banter.
Yup, like comp'd drinks, free appetizer next time you are in, etc. I suppose this is less common in chains, though. In general, the cooler you are to the waitstaff, the cooler the restaurant will be to you.
For same reason they do not in other places; the culture. Rude is opinion based like most things. Then if one goes across US you find different cultures and how many things are viewed differently.
I understand waiter is trying to be friendly and its not like he/she is beneath me. I was a waitress for a few months before. But I just find it rude when one is eating and the waiter trying to compliment me or how the weather is.... It boggles my mind! Once it scared my friend who is French when we ate in the states.
Then the waiter isn't very good. A waiter should read the people at the table for how much interaction they are wanting. It's the same thing if you are out to a romantic dinner you don't want to make small talk.
There is a fine line between being friendly and being too friendly. I have had waiters and waitresses who were over the top and thought they were being cute with their little remarks and jokes. I've even had one waitress tell me to move over so she could sit down and take the order ! But a little friendliness and light conversation is fine.
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They also don't know to wait to take your order until you've put your menu down. So many times when I'm at a new restaurant they come back 30 seconds after giving me the menu...when you're not ready, then they make you wait 15 minutes before coming back around!
If I have something that annoys me about waitstaff, it's that. You sit down, the host hands you a menu, and literally 30 seconds later, the waiter comes around wanting to know what you'd like to drink. I have no idea! I haven't even been able to see your drink options on the menu yet!
I'd rather they ask too soon than too late. And those that are chatty usually do so thinking it is wanted/polite and that by doing so they may get a better tip or just provide a better experience for the customer. If they're bothering you, just say something like, "Hey we need some time to ourselves and we know you're busy with other tables, could you just check in with us every x minutes or so to see if we need anything? Thanks!" They don't think they're being rude, they think the opposite. Waiting tables is a tough, often thankless, job that everyone feels free to critique. Kind of like teaching - people were students so they think they know about teaching - same for waiting tables - people have been customers so they think they know about waiting tables. But they don't really.
From what I have heard from friends who have visited Europe, the culture is very different. People are generally rude and colder, and many of them see themselves as smarter than "fat, lazy, Americans" and so they feel any type of non-useful interaction is a waste of time. The rest of the world is totally different than America. Many of these countries have terrible economies, and are cold all the time and so the people act miserable because they ARE actually miserable. I have had some nice conversations with non-Americans on the internet, though most of them seem to be from countries such as Australia, New Zealand, and even parts of Croatia.
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This happens so much in the states. I lived there long time so now I am in Europe and it doesn't happen here. Is there a places or region in the states where this is not common?
. It boggles my mind! Once it scared my friend who is French when we ate in the states. 
