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Not sure if this thread belongs on this particular forum. But this question is for waiters in USA. Why do American waiters talk and have conversations with the table they are waiting on? I don't think its for better tip but I find it very rude. If its a party then why can't the waiter just take our order. This happens so much in the states. I lived there long time so now I am in Europe and it doesn't happen here. Is there a places or region in the states where this is not common?
Not sure if this thread belongs on this particular forum. But this question is for waiters in USA. Why do American waiters talk and have conversations with the table they are waiting on? I don't think its for better tip but I find it very rude. If its a party then why can't the waiter just take our order. This happens so much in the states. I lived there long time so now I am in Europe and it doesn't happen here. Is there a places or region in the states where this is not common?
I like when waiters and waitresses talk to me. I especially like the diner kind of older waitress, who's been around for ages and calls me "Honey" and knows all the funny jargon for shouting things to the kitchen
At Disney (MGM to be specific) they have a restaurant where the waitresses are like moms from 50's TV shows...they ask you if you washed your hands then try to catch you lying by asking what color the soap was. If you don't finish your vegetables they come over and do the "Here comes the airplane" thing, even to men, it's hilarious.
I think Americans just have a more casual attitude maybe...I'm sure I would get on everyone's nerves in Europe, I *** to strangers all the time.
When I was a waiter I rarely went into deep conversations with tables-if I did it was the customer that initiated it.
Sure, I'd make small talk at first, but that would be seen as rude by most if I didn't.
We go out to eat too, and understand that a good waiter is one that takes your order but you hardly notice is there. Yet everything is brought out timely and nothing is longly needed during the meal.
I have lived in Ohio, Alabama, Colorado, California, and Maine (and traveled to or through about half the remaining states), and it has been my experience that waiters in expensive restaurants do not usually do this. They will greet me, be very attentive, and might tell me his or her name, but that is usually all.
Personally, though, I would rather have a friendly waiter than one who acts as though it is beneath his dignity to serve you. Once we went to a very expensive Boston restaurant, and the waiter was so "snooty" that we vowed never to go to that particular restaurant again. (We had requested a souffle that needed to be ordered ahead, and when the busboy had cleared our entree dishes and the waiter appeared, we asked about the souffle, and he very rudely said, "It is coming" -- as though how dare we question it.)
I do agree, though, that an overly friendly waitperson can be annoying, especially if one is trying to have a private conversation.
Last edited by katharsis; 03-18-2015 at 02:30 PM..
Not sure if this thread belongs on this particular forum. But this question is for waiters in USA. Why do American waiters talk and have conversations with the table they are waiting on? I don't think its for better tip but I find it very rude. If its a party then why can't the waiter just take our order. This happens so much in the states. I lived there long time so now I am in Europe and it doesn't happen here. Is there a places or region in the states where this is not common?
For the obvious reason that some people and parties like it.
I generally don't care to chat with the server, but I also don't think my personal preferences are some sort of objective gold standard that everyone should observe or else they're inherently wrong.
In 90% of cases it's pretty easy to politely yet effectively signal that you're not interested in chatting. And the other 10% of cases? Well, that's life...
I understand waiter is trying to be friendly and its not like he/she is beneath me. I was a waitress for a few months before. But I just find it rude when one is eating and the waiter trying to compliment me or how the weather is.... It boggles my mind! Once it scared my friend who is French when we ate in the states.
How odd....it seems like you got the 'luck of the draw' and just happen to get the overly social butterflies. I have waited tables for years off and on, I am friendly and only get into conversations if the person starts it. Otherwise, wow, how could a waitperson even have time for such conversations. Waiting tables is hard busy work and lots of running around. Where is the time for a conversation?
Serving staff who are friendly and treat their customers like they actually care about then do tend to get better tips. Of course it depends somewhat on the kind of restaurant you are in. A higher end place is probably going to have more formal service.
I like when waiters and waitresses talk to me. I especially like the diner kind of older waitress, who's been around for ages and calls me "Honey" and knows all the funny jargon for shouting things to the kitchen
At Disney (MGM to be specific) they have a restaurant where the waitresses are like moms from 50's TV shows...they ask you if you washed your hands then try to catch you lying by asking what color the soap was. If you don't finish your vegetables they come over and do the "Here comes the airplane" thing, even to men, it's hilarious.
I think Americans just have a more casual attitude maybe...I'm sure I would get on everyone's nerves in Europe, I *** to strangers all the time.
I have no idea what they out asterisks there. I said an animal's name with 3 letters, starts with "y", ends with "k", has an "a" in the middle, and means talk, gab, whatever. I can't think of any R-rated thing it could stand for.
I don't care to have a discussion with the wait staff beyond what is particularly good on the menu, and nothing pisses me off more than having a conversation with my spouse rudely interrupted by a server. When I see you approach the table I will make a point of curtailing whatever it is that I am saying, but if you talk over me, I will cut you off at the knees. Not literally, of course, but I will certainly not be shy about verbalizing my displeasure.
Furthermore, please restrain yourself from clearing my plate before I have finished eating. Just yesterday, I took my daughter out for breakfast. There were multiple plates of food, including one filled with pancakes my daughter and I had planned to share. The nitwit server took my flatware in the middle of the meal. I realize that the typical college-age server is not familiar with the flatware placement that indicates a diner has finished his meal, but could you at least ask before you start taking things away?
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This happens so much in the states. I lived there long time so now I am in Europe and it doesn't happen here. Is there a places or region in the states where this is not common?
. If you don't finish your vegetables they come over and do the "Here comes the airplane" thing, even to men, it's hilarious. 
. It boggles my mind! Once it scared my friend who is French when we ate in the states. 
