Welcome to City-Data.com Forum!
U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Great Debates
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Closed Thread Start New Thread
 
Old 08-04-2015, 07:21 PM
 
21 posts, read 26,306 times
Reputation: 34

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by murksiderock View Post
What? This isn't true, but for a minority, and extreme minority at that, of black men. This is not true...

First of all, it is mostly black women, by FAR, who obsess over things like hair texture and skin tone. Black men do not have this degree of self-loathing at all. It is black women who moreso perpetuate this "light vs dark" complex; it is black women who desire their children to have non-black features. These things are relatively issueless in black male culture. It is an issue that exists, but DEFINITELY less so than it does with black women...

I have to ask, how old are you? Because we may be having a generational disconnect here. I've lived in seven states, and again, I am younger, and I have NEVER heard "negro bed wench". That isn't even something the "new" generation would say, and sounds like an older phrase. I have heard black men stereotype and put down black women in favor of non-black women, even in the presence of non-blacks, and will concede this is something that is far less common to hear black women do (put down black men in favor of non-black men in the presence of non-blacks)...

However, it's bs that black women allow brothers to "do as they please" in this context. Both sexes are known to bad mouth the other when we date non-black. But again, I want to stress this point, that in my generation, this is not the norm. We are far more open to free expressions of love or lust, without finger pointing and disdain for one another's preferences. This double standard you mention just simply doesn't exist. It is human culture in general for men to be viewed as being able to get away with actions that women can't; that double standard exists. But not this black men/women dating interracial thing...
Whether or not people want to admit it, white women have the highest social value in the USA. Black men are at the very bottom. That's why black men feign sky-high confidence. Sometimes it is enough to fool a white woman, especially those with low self-esteem. Colorism, skin color discrimination, is rampant in the black community. Most whites don't know this. Black men seek white women because they want to have lighter-skinned children, which in the black community equates to higher status and higher attractiveness. (See the documentary Dark Girls if you doubt this, or read about the brown paper bag test.) Ironically, the white woman's children will be seen by the rest of society as simply "black," so they will inherit their father's low social status. Some black men manage to convince a white woman he is "high status" and "race doesn't matter," but sooner or later she figures out he's secretly insecure about being black, his "confidence" is all an act, race does in fact still matter to most people even if they won't publicly admit it, which is why black man/white woman marriages divorce at twice the rate of white man/white woman marriages. The truth hurts.

 
Old 08-04-2015, 07:24 PM
 
Location: La lune et les étoiles
18,258 posts, read 22,530,120 times
Reputation: 19593
Quote:
Originally Posted by murksiderock View Post
What? This isn't true, but for a minority, and extreme minority at that, of black men. This is not true...

First of all, it is mostly black women, by FAR, who obsess over things like hair texture and skin tone. Black men do not have this degree of self-loathing at all. It is black women who moreso perpetuate this "light vs dark" complex; it is black women who desire their children to have non-black features. These things are relatively issueless in black male culture. It is an issue that exists, but DEFINITELY less so than it does with black women...

I have to ask, how old are you? Because we may be having a generational disconnect here. I've lived in seven states, and again, I am younger, and I have NEVER heard "negro bed wench". That isn't even something the "new" generation would say, and sounds like an older phrase. I have heard black men stereotype and put down black women in favor of non-black women, even in the presence of non-blacks, and will concede this is something that is far less common to hear black women do (put down black men in favor of non-black men in the presence of non-blacks)...

However, it's bs that black women allow brothers to "do as they please" in this context. Both sexes are known to bad mouth the other when we date non-black. But again, I want to stress this point, that in my generation, this is not the norm. We are far more open to free expressions of love or lust, without finger pointing and disdain for one another's preferences. This double standard you mention just simply doesn't exist. It is human culture in general for men to be viewed as being able to get away with actions that women can't; that double standard exists. But not this black men/women dating interracial thing...
In the past black women have been berated, badgered and bullied by black men into never contradicting their LIES about why they date/marry out but those days are over.

Black women generally do not put skin color and hair texture requirements on their potential mates that are the complete OPPOSITE of themselves. If anything, black women state a preference for DARK SKIN men. While those same DARK SKIN men state a preference for anything but a black woman (dark skin or otherwise). Ask 100 black men what physical features they prefer and maybe 10% will prefer a woman who shares his similar coloring.

Prior to the Civil Rights Movement most black men did not have access to white women so the preferred standard was light skinned black women with more European facial features and straighter hair textures. Light skinned black women were the de facto stand-in white women. It was even illegal for blacks/whites to marry in some states until Loving v State of Virginia. The Lovings were a White man and Black woman married couple who actually had the guts to fight for the recognition of their interracial marriage. Once black men had access to white/non-black women then no black woman would ever be "enough". Our hair was too nappy, skin too dark, features too African, etc. So more black women chemically straightened our hair, wore long silky weaves, used skin bleach, etc. but to no avail we were still black. We still visual reminders to black men that they are also black. And our black children would be further reminders that black men are.....BLACK.

And as for the "negro bed wench" insults that are hurled at any black woman who dares to even been seen with a non-black man. Just do a quick google or youtube search. Black men DESPITE black women who have the audacity to even associate with a white/non-black man. And YOUR generation, which is the product of 20 years of misogynistic, anti-black woman rap/hip-hop, is at the forefront of denigrating black women.

But true be told, this has been going on for a very long time....

“Too many colored men entertain very careless, if not contemptible opinions of the colored girls...no protection against the libelous attacks on their characters, and no chivalry generous enough to guarantee their safety against man’s inhumanity to women. Is the colored man brave enough to stand out and say to all the world, "Thus far and no farther in your attempt to insult and degrade our women"?...Let her be loved, admired, encouraged, and above all things heroically protected against the scorn and contempt of men, black as well as white." Fannie Barrier Williams, 1905


"There is a great stir about colored men getting their rights, but not a word about the colored women; and if colored men get their rights, and not colored women theirs, you see the colored men will be masters over the women, and it will be just as bad as it was before...They go out washing, which is about as high as a colored woman gets, and their men go about idle, strutting up and down; and when the women come home, they ask for their money and take it all, and then scold because there is no food." Sojourner Truth, 1867
 
Old 08-04-2015, 07:25 PM
 
Location: North Raleigh x North Sacramento
5,822 posts, read 5,630,594 times
Reputation: 7123
Quote:
Originally Posted by LiveLife2Fullest View Post
Whether or not people want to admit it, white women have the highest social value in the USA. Black men are at the very bottom. That's why black men feign sky-high confidence. Sometimes it is enough to fool a white woman, especially those with low self-esteem. Colorism, skin color discrimination, is rampant in the black community. Most whites don't know this. Black men seek white women because they want to have lighter-skinned children, which in the black community equates to higher status and higher attractiveness. (See the documentary Dark Girls if you doubt this, or read about the brown paper bag test.) Ironically, the white woman's children will be seen by the rest of society as simply "black," so they will inherit their father's low social status. Some black men manage to convince a white woman he is "high status" and "race doesn't matter," but sooner or later she figures out he's secretly insecure about being black, his "confidence" is all an act, race does in fact still matter to most people even if they won't publicly admit it, which is why black man/white woman marriages divorce at twice the rate of white man/white woman marriages. The truth hurts.
There is so much wrong in this post, I don't even have the energy to address it all...
 
Old 08-04-2015, 07:31 PM
 
Location: La lune et les étoiles
18,258 posts, read 22,530,120 times
Reputation: 19593
Quote:
Originally Posted by LiveLife2Fullest View Post
Whether or not people want to admit it, white women have the highest social value in the USA. Black men are at the very bottom. That's why black men feign sky-high confidence. Sometimes it is enough to fool a white woman, especially those with low self-esteem. Colorism, skin color discrimination, is rampant in the black community. Most whites don't know this. Black men seek white women because they want to have lighter-skinned children, which in the black community equates to higher status and higher attractiveness. (See the documentary Dark Girls if you doubt this, or read about the brown paper bag test.) Ironically, the white woman's children will be seen by the rest of society as simply "black," so they will inherit their father's low social status. Some black men manage to convince a white woman he is "high status" and "race doesn't matter," but sooner or later she figures out he's secretly insecure about being black, his "confidence" is all an act, race does in fact still matter to most people even if they won't publicly admit it, which is why black man/white woman marriages divorce at twice the rate of white man/white woman marriages. The truth hurts.
And this is why black men/white women marriages have the HIGHEST divorce rates of any racial coupling (same race or interracial).

Its also interesting that white men/black women marriages have the LOWEST divorce of ANY interracial coupling and the only other coupling with a lower divorce rate is Asian men/Asian women.

White men/black women divorce rates are even LOWER than white men/Asian women; black men/black women; and even lower than white men/white women.

This speaks VOLUMES.
 
Old 08-04-2015, 07:33 PM
 
Location: La lune et les étoiles
18,258 posts, read 22,530,120 times
Reputation: 19593
Quote:
Originally Posted by murksiderock View Post
There is so much wrong in this post, I don't even have the energy to address it all...
You will not address it because you can't. The smoke screen has lifted and the crowd sees that the emperor has no clothes.

The blind loyalty that black men have enjoyed from black women is rapidly evaporating and now many of you are feeling naked and exposed.
 
Old 08-04-2015, 07:35 PM
 
21 posts, read 26,306 times
Reputation: 34
Quote:
Originally Posted by murksiderock View Post
There is so much wrong in this post, I don't even have the energy to address it all...
How else do you explain that 92% of black-mixed children are illegitimate and over 90% are raised by their non-black mothers without the black father around to help out. These are the most dysfunctional pairings when black men get with non-black women. It rarely works out because they are not based on love and are more about lust, rebelling or as a way to seem progressive and cool. I live in L.A. and trust me there literally hundreds if not thousands of white and Hispanics single (never married) mothers with mixed-black kids. These women are now paying the price for their lust as no man wants them. So much for LOVE.
 
Old 08-04-2015, 07:38 PM
 
21 posts, read 26,306 times
Reputation: 34
Quote:
Originally Posted by calipoppy View Post
And this is why black men/white women marriages have the HIGHEST divorce rates of any racial coupling (same race or interracial).

Its also interesting that white men/black women marriages have the LOWEST divorce of ANY interracial coupling and the only other coupling with a lower divorce rate is Asian men/Asian women.

White men/black women divorce rates are even LOWER than white men/Asian women; black men/black women; and even lower than white men/white women.


This speaks VOLUMES.
True love wins as opposed to relationships based on lust.
 
Old 08-04-2015, 07:49 PM
 
Location: North Raleigh x North Sacramento
5,822 posts, read 5,630,594 times
Reputation: 7123
Quote:
Originally Posted by calipoppy View Post
In the past black women have been berated, badgered and bullied by black men into never contradicting their LIES about why they date/marry out but those days are over.

Black women generally do not put skin color and hair texture requirements on their potential mates that are the complete OPPOSITE of themselves. If anything, black women state a preference for DARK SKIN men. While those same DARK SKIN men state a preference for anything but a black woman (dark skin or otherwise). Ask 100 black men what physical features they prefer and maybe 10% will prefer a woman who shares his similar coloring.

Prior to the Civil Rights Movement most black men did not have access to white women so the preferred standard was light skinned black women with more European facial features and straighter hair textures. Light skinned black women were the de facto stand-in white women. It was even illegal for blacks/whites to marry in some states until Loving v State of Virginia. The Lovings were a White man and Black woman married couple who actually had the guts to fight for the recognition of their interracial marriage. Once black men had access to white/non-black women then no black woman would ever be "enough". Our hair was too nappy, skin too dark, features too African, etc. So more black women chemically straightened our hair, wore long silky weaves, used skin bleach, etc. but to no avail we were still black. We still visual reminders to black men that they are also black. And our black children would be further reminders that black men are.....BLACK.

And as for the "negro bed wench" insults that are hurled at any black woman who dares to even been seen with a non-black man. Just do a quick google or youtube search. Black men DESPITE black women who have the audacity to even associate with a white/non-black man. And YOUR generation, which is the product of 20 years of misogynistic, anti-black woman rap/hip-hop, is at the forefront of denigrating black women.

But true be told, this has been going on for a very long time....

“Too many colored men entertain very careless, if not contemptible opinions of the colored girls...no protection against the libelous attacks on their characters, and no chivalry generous enough to guarantee their safety against man’s inhumanity to women. Is the colored man brave enough to stand out and say to all the world, "Thus far and no farther in your attempt to insult and degrade our women"?...Let her be loved, admired, encouraged, and above all things heroically protected against the scorn and contempt of men, black as well as white." Fannie Barrier Williams, 1905


"There is a great stir about colored men getting their rights, but not a word about the colored women; and if colored men get their rights, and not colored women theirs, you see the colored men will be masters over the women, and it will be just as bad as it was before...They go out washing, which is about as high as a colored woman gets, and their men go about idle, strutting up and down; and when the women come home, they ask for their money and take it all, and then scold because there is no food." Sojourner Truth, 1867
First of all, the desire of non-black women isn't a characteristic the black man created or placed on himself. It was institutionally bred and built into society, so let's just stop right here. What is it with you black women and the hatred of us so much to blame us for all black problems? It certainly isn't the black man's fault that some dark skinned black women hate their appearance, or that some light skinned black women hate theirs as well. Come on, now. We (black men nor women) didn't create these superficial standards of beauty or self hatred...

I agree that black women don't place these same standards of appearance for their mates. But black women do place these limits on themselves. That 10% statement is false. At the end of the day, light skinned is still black (definitely if they come from two black parents) and I don't view a preference for light skinned blacks as self hate. Also, many light skinned blacks prefer dark skinned mates as well. Is that an example of self hate? I'm not understanding because I believe your anger is misplaced. Definitely more than 10% of black men prefer black women...

You do a lot of talking about the "lies" of why some black men prefer non-black women. When were you a black man? Because by and large, it is not for an elevated social status or acceptability. Maybe in 1950, but not today. i will say, the weakest and worst type of black man is the one who parades non-black women over black women as if non-black women have some special power the black woman doesn't have. But AGAIN, while these brothers exist, they are the minority of black men. Most black men like all kinds of women. It is black women who seem that box themselves from dating non-black because of the stigmas of the past, of which you've mentioned some. Yet even to that end, I can't tell you how many sisters I've grown up with or am acquainted with who have dated non-black or still do. It is you older blacks that wish to keep this **** going. And of course, whites. They read **** like this and because your posts sound angry (stereotypical), or mine sound like I prefer non-black women (stereotypical), they infer that we hate each other and love every second of this. Stop playing into the hype...

Is a good thing you cleared up that hip-hop statement, because not only is it completely false, black men nor any other type of man needed music to denigrate women. These are global issues that existed long before hip hop...
 
Old 08-04-2015, 07:56 PM
 
Location: North Raleigh x North Sacramento
5,822 posts, read 5,630,594 times
Reputation: 7123
Quote:
Originally Posted by calipoppy View Post
You will not address it because you can't. The smoke screen has lifted and the crowd sees that the emperor has no clothes.

The blind loyalty that black men have enjoyed from black women is rapidly evaporating and now many of you are feeling naked and exposed.
Goddamn, what is up with all this hatred? Give it a rest, please...

I won't address his comments because MANY of his assertions are FLAT OUT WRONG. And I don't have the energy to fight an unknowing, sarcastic, non-black individual who really cares nothing about the issues within the black community, even though he continues to post under a caring guise, at the same time I'm fighting a hateful, over the top feminist black woman who is stuck on the ideals and statuses of past generations...
 
Old 08-04-2015, 07:59 PM
 
Location: Somewhere
8,069 posts, read 6,969,794 times
Reputation: 5654
Quote:
Originally Posted by LiveLife2Fullest View Post
Whether or not people want to admit it, white women have the highest social value in the USA.
Not if you look like Rosie O'Donell or Honey boo boo's mother. I think many men would prefer to date Beyoncé or Arlenis Sosa instead.

Reality is that many people are not interested in dating outside their race. People are not gonna date someone just because they are white. The are plenty of unnatractive white people.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Closed Thread


Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Great Debates

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2024, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Contact Us - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 - Top