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Death is the greatest gift you'll receive on this planet! It took me awhile to digest this one, but it makes a lot of sense!
I work in a Long-Term Care facility and I, occasionally, run into some patients who were tyrants, impossible to please, their health severely compromised, and I remember one dictatorial, thankless man, who, was perhaps a bully most of his life, commented one time: I'll bet if you had the chance, you'd kill me!
And? How did I respond to him, ironically? "Oh, no, no! I'm too sadistic to kill anyone!"
And it left him with a puzzled look on his face! And I didn't elaborate!
Knowing how much he was suffering, healthwise, tube connected, I only wish this as*hole to "live" another 20 years. Another 20 years of suffering, pain and misery, as he probably deserves it!
I actually laughed at my mother's death! When she came down with liver cancer, an unknown amount of time left, I asked her: What can I do to give you a happy death? And so we raced against time, I took her to Hawaii, Alaska, a fall color trip to New England, the Appalachian Mountains, and to California a couple times. Her last days were spent relishing the memories of those trips, and a happy death she had! And that should be a goal for us all: the happiest death possible!
I literally rejoiced after hearing of the death of my Mother's stepfather 40 years ago. To make a long story short, he was a mean drunk and a child molester (I found out years later he had sexually assaulted my sister when she was four years old). I have no use for him and take comfort in the fact that he is barking in hell.
I work in a Long-Term Care facility and I, occasionally, run into some patients who were tyrants, impossible to please, their health severely compromised, and I remember one dictatorial, thankless man, who, was perhaps a bully most of his life, commented one time: I'll bet if you had the chance, you'd kill me!
I had a patient like that once--and he was the first one I had ever gotten back into his face after he had ran off the majority of my staff with his profanity-laced tirades and bullying. I informed him in no uncertain terms that I was no longer going to tolerate his behavior. He was screaming and cursing at me as I turned around and walked out the door. As soon as I told my boss what had happened, she ordered me to contact his family and give them three weeks' notice to find another agency to care for him.
Had a boss like that once. So bad I had to revise my boss scale to include evil. Not just bad or incompetent, but evil. There was great rejoicing when he retired. If he got hit by a truck today and squished into a little bitty grease spot, the only thing those who worked under him would feel was that it was too quick and painless.
These people thrive in business because they have a protector. He retired within a month of his protector retiring.
To answer your question: I think the proper way to feel is sad. Not sadness for them, so much as simply sadness that they could not have been a different person and that things could not have worked out differently.
Life is a complex thing. Most often, even our blood enemies have some positive quality. Its a shame that they couldn't have put those qualities to use in a constructive manner that would have been of more benefit to others..
Some people really are just bad people. However, often bad managers and department heads are pushed by people who you don't see. They have been told if they don't act a certain way that their own job is in jeopardy too.
Many years ago, I lost a job inside a small organization. I had hoped to become a partner and when I was notified this was not going to happen, I was pretty angry. It took literally years for all of this anger to dissipate. Recently, I spoke to one of the people who laid me off. He is much older. He is now divorced, in poor health, has few friends, and has repeatedly been passed over when he has applied for higher positions. On the other hand, I am happily married with two children, working for myself, and in generally good health. In talking with him, I learned why he had been eager to lay me off many years ago. His family finances were a disaster. His first marriage was falling apart. He had other personal problems. He saw getting rid of me as a way to save a small organization some money. It doesn't change the fact that he has made poor life choices and harmed others. However, I at least understood his point of view and given all the time that has gone by, I am at peace.
My advice to others is to try to let go of these negative feelings. They do no good. People can be real screw ups, but often you don't know the whole picture.
I never get the dilemma. Only in certain religions can you be a horrible person, ask for forgiveness, and be granted it for only a few extra minutes or prayer without making proper amends. In reality you own the wrongs you commit until you make amends or die. And if you die first, the wrongs still define you to those affected by them.
Clearly you still carry more anger for this person than would seem healthy, but not being sorry he died doesn't define you, it defines him.
It reminds me of similarly flawed way of thinking. I was counseled as a young child to "not speak ill of the dead", why? Did dying somehow make a horrible person nicer, better, saintlier?
Years ago I had an extremely, abusive evil female "mentor" at my firm. I didn't wish her dead but I often fantasized about slapping her hard across the face and then dropping her naked in Skid Row with dollar bills glued to her mean ass. If I heard she died, I would honestly have a mean smile on my face and think "good riddance, you cow." No, I wouldn't feel bad about it one little bit.
To the OP. It reads like you just let off a ton of steam which is a good thing.
Your boss was a rotten jerk.
I wouldn't feel badly at all if I were you just chaulk it up to KARMA.
Sadly it is usually the good people that die young while the rotten ones continue to suck air and make others miserable.
Death and how it makes one feel can be an odd thing. Here on CD we often see stories where someone broke into a house and was met by a person with a gun and the criminal was shot dead. Who feels badly for that? We all should out of empathy but the guy put himself into mortal danger, he choose his deeds knowing the risks and he paid the ultimate price. The same can be said for a police shooting where the person pulls a gun on the cops, refuses their orders and is put down.
It is hard to feel badly for these people.
Your boss was rotten and Karma caught up with him. Don't feel bad.
Personally, I'm delighted when a bad person dies. I often applaud and say, "Good riddance," out loud.
In accordance with my spiritual beliefs, if I hear of the death of anyone whose evil affected me personally in any way, I actually make a proclamation to Spirit, stating how this person harmed me and asking for them to be reminded of it in their life review. I also ask for some type of compensation after they are in a position to provide it to me.
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