Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I hesitated to put this here or the Relationship Forum, but I prefer to run it here as it's so debatable.
I try to downplay the statement (You Never Say No To Your Wife or PBT/Power Behind The Throne) but I see it too often, the fear of saying No to the wife.
I've done massage for 30-40 years and have had many a married man on my table and I've heard too many stories.
One of my massage clients would love to join me on one of my 1-day trips to L.A., going to museums, as he loves Art. Wife not interested, and? She won't allow him to go without her!
My cousin is snowbirding it in western AZ this winter, and I've offered to pay their RT fares to L.A. from Vegas for a 2 day venture, since neither has ever been there. He'd love to go with, but the wife is not interested, and she's the boss! So as not to create friction, he's not going.
Having read a bio of Michelle Obama, Barrack was so smitten with her, he called her The Boss from the beginning of their marriage. "No, your smoking days are over!" "Yes, Boss!"
I learned very late on, that my Father never wanted children (my mother had 3, which explains why he never had much time for us, can't blame him!) and he wanted to move far away from family to Colorado, and she wanted to remain close to family. And? Who won that battle?
When I put my house up for sale, a couple came to look at it, the husband went wild with job at seeing my work bench and storage area in my garage, saying "Perfect!" The wife grimaced, and the agent told me, privately: You should know, it's the woman who makes these decisions! House not sold!
What's your take on this "mystery"?
It's been said, true love is wanting the other to be as happy as possible, and?
I think it's bullspit reinforced by the media with the hands of feminist behind it back in the early days of womens liberation. In the early days of television and good 'ol american gender roles, women were more or less subserviant, women's lib came along demanding they be treated like humans. Out goes Ralph Cramden, Ricky Ricardo, and James Evans...hello Heathcliff Huxtable, Al Bundy, and Fred Flintstone. The media flips portrayal and creates the stereotype of the bossy housewife and the easily breaking husband. Even Darren had Samantha in control and she was a witch. Not to mention women wanting their voice being heard and many are not push-overs willing to stand up for themselves. They see it on tv and are sick of the reality, which is in part where I think it stems from. Not saying we need to hop in the wayback machine...just something I noticed and is just a small factor.
I hesitated to put this here or the Relationship Forum, but I prefer to run it here as it's so debatable.
I try to downplay the statement (You Never Say No To Your Wife or PBT/Power Behind The Throne) but I see it too often, the fear of saying No to the wife.
I've done massage for 30-40 years and have had many a married man on my table and I've heard too many stories.
One of my massage clients would love to join me on one of my 1-day trips to L.A., going to museums, as he loves Art. Wife not interested, and? She won't allow him to go without her!
My cousin is snowbirding it in western AZ this winter, and I've offered to pay their RT fares to L.A. from Vegas for a 2 day venture, since neither has ever been there. He'd love to go with, but the wife is not interested, and she's the boss! So as not to create friction, he's not going.
Having read a bio of Michelle Obama, Barrack was so smitten with her, he called her The Boss from the beginning of their marriage. "No, your smoking days are over!" "Yes, Boss!"
I learned very late on, that my Father never wanted children (my mother had 3, which explains why he never had much time for us, can't blame him!) and he wanted to move far away from family to Colorado, and she wanted to remain close to family. And? Who won that battle?
When I put my house up for sale, a couple came to look at it, the husband went wild with job at seeing my work bench and storage area in my garage, saying "Perfect!" The wife grimaced, and the agent told me, privately: You should know, it's the woman who makes these decisions! House not sold!
What's your take on this "mystery"?
It's been said, true love is wanting the other to be as happy as possible, and?
I actually don't think it's fear at all. LOL, I do want to point out the Barak still smokes so obviously he's still doing very much his own thing.
First I think a lot of guys go along because they are wimpy and it doesn't really matter to them. Sorry I use to tell my hubby all the time, if you say "I don't care" don't get mad if I make a decision you don't like. Your cousin might have been pleasantly surprised had he said he wanted to go and made an effort to find things his wife would like. don't blame her if he was lazy and too the easy way out.
Now as far as vacations, there are a lot of dynamics. Are their kids involved? what's the money situation like? what's the vacation time like?
I do agree with the house sale analysis but then remember who's doing the "housekeeper" thing. I'd say in most of the marriages I see it's 85% of the wife. If I'm doing 85% of the daily work (and sorry guys in studies it shows most women still in 2017 do the majority of daily work) yeah, I think I should have a large say. once again , don't know the full scenario but work bench? uhmm can the kids sleep there, what about the kitchen....who's doing the cooking
My husband is like this. He is willing to go along with whatever I say. So, I have to make an effort to find out what he really wants. For instance, he mentioned in passing that his cousins were going to meet up in Chicago. I said, "Don't you want to go?" He said, "I don't know. Whatever." We've been married so long, I know I have to encourage him to go in order for him to do it. For whatever reason, he is overly worried about upsetting me.
On the other hand, I have to watch what I say. If I make a comment in passing about an item I like, he will run right out and buy it. I have to be careful or we will end up broke!
Women who have husbands like mine and take advantage of it and keep their men under their thumb are awful. Then they brag about it. I want mine to be happy, but I have to pry it out of him to find out what he really wants.
My husband uses the "wife won't let me" excuse all the time to get out of things he himself doesn't care to go to so I'm wondering if this is really as prevalent as suggested.
This is common in the US, not so common in other countries -- I've heard others from other countries say that in a tourist crowd they can pick out couples from the US by the body language/dynamic of the husband ans wife -- and a direct result of feministic principles of the woman is always right, men are always wrong. If a man has an opinion that differs from his wife's he is an idiot who can't deal with a "strong woman." Generally speaking that is. I'm sure there are couples that just prefer it this way, but I'd say the majority are because US men were brought up to be subservient to women lest they be accused of misogyny.
You may be reflecting on the difference between men and women - and not fear or an unwillingness to stand up to their wives. Men tend to operate more on logic, while women are more emotional. Engaging in a logical discussion with a woman who feels emotionally attached to her point of view is a 'no win' situation. It's often better to save the battles for things the man really cares about - and compromise on the things she cares about - (Based on 50-years of marriage).
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
