When is it time to let go? (Pickling our seniors) (independent, money)
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Bottom line is, I should have the choice for my death only. I should not have any input whatsoever about when someone else should die. That's their business.
That is one of the reasons why it is very important to write up a legal document that states exactly how we want to die. Do we want to be put on life support? These are things that even if you were in your right mind while you were in the ER and you could make this decision rapidly, you still want that piece of paper somewhere written by you years ago when you certainly were in your right mind, stating that "I want X, Y and Z to happen in case I become incapacitated."
If everyone did this, it removes the burden of the family for the guilt of either keeping a loved one alive or letting them pass. The decision is our own. No one should be able to change that.
My mother had COPD for over 14 years. During that time, her quality of life continued to decline. But there were some good moments too.
In the last year of her life, it was very difficult. I could no longer care for her at home as it had become too difficult, so she was in a nursing home where I kept very close tabs on her care. During one of her COPD flareups, she was hospitalized. The doctor was frank with me, that her body had simply reached to point of no real return, and to just consider letting her live her remaining days as comfortable as possible and to NOT hospitalize her again as it only would be prolonging her agony. The doctor thought she had a very short time to live, under 3 mos. She was ready to go both physically, emotionally and spiritually.
However, she managed to surprise the medical community even with her limited treatment. She lived another 10 months before passing on this spring. She did not want further treatment, made that quite clear as she did not have dementia, and had a very solid DNR/advance directive regarding her treatment. While I did have her Healthcare proxy and could have overridden her wishes, I did not even consider it.
While it is a very painful topic, more people truly need to discuss their ideas concerning final treatment. It doesn't mean that they are giving up; it does mean they are accepting reality. We as their family and survivors need to be able to accept and let go when the time is near.
Additionally, the medical needs to be more honest and open about death. Death is going to happen to everyone eventually. I think some doctors avoid the reality of death, since they are not comfortable with it, or don't want to be sued. In order to best assist the patient and their family, this difficult topic needs to be addressed.
On a final and somewhat amusing note, whenever a new doctor appeared on the scene one of the things he/she had to do was discuss my mother's DNR. She would generally freak them out by announcing that she was a fan of Dr. Jack Kevorkian. I would simply sigh on this, as she and I had many discussions on this topic as I thought he went too far, and she didn't.
That is one of the reasons why it is very important to write up a legal document that states exactly how we want to die. Do we want to be put on life support? These are things that even if you were in your right mind while you were in the ER and you could make this decision rapidly, you still want that piece of paper somewhere written by you years ago when you certainly were in your right mind, stating that "I want X, Y and Z to happen in case I become incapacitated."
If everyone did this, it removes the burden of the family for the guilt of either keeping a loved one alive or letting them pass. The decision is our own. No one should be able to change that.
I am 70 years old. My mother lived to be 97, and I do not wish to endure that indignity. Please do not inflict any heroic procedures that will keep me alive for 27 more years. If I do not die spontaneously before that time, please do not place me under a 24-hour suicide watch. You can use your money for better purposes than keeping my monitors blinking.
Being a relatively young 63, I'll say right now, "don't no body worry about letting me go" That decision is between me and my Maker. Folks can go busy themselves with other more pressing issues. If I want yer help, I'll ask for it. Until then, don't be unplugging nothin.
Here are my thoughts: It's not so much about age. It's about..their overall health. There are times I speak with someone who is like 94 and they are alive and kicking it! They are with it. They are ALL there. They are capable of helping themselves... so shouldn't money be spent more on THOSE people who may have another 10 years left rather than letting someone live for another year---even though they are practically in a coma 24/7?!
It probably looks simple when you're young and death seems far away, but you might feel differently when you're old and someone decides you're not worth any further effort. I'm not willing to define who is worthy and who isn't.
I am 70 years old. My mother lived to be 97, and I do not wish to endure that indignity. Please do not inflict any heroic procedures that will keep me alive for 27 more years. If I do not die spontaneously before that time, please do not place me under a 24-hour suicide watch. You can use your money for better purposes than keeping my monitors blinking.
OMG I agree with you, I'm 65, my mother is 90. My older sister was taking care of her until she had a stroke. Now both are about broke. The Baby Boom is coming and soon 30% of the population will be over 65. I don't know how our economy will survive this. In the past people worked to 65 and got maybe 5 years of retirement before they died and left the store, farm or business to their heirs. In many cases it was that wealth that made the next generation progress.
I read an interesting History of the Incas immediately prior to Pizzaro. A cult had arisen that denied death. The mummified the dead and kept them around the house as if they were alive. Nothing passed from father to son and the economy ground to a halt. There was a a civil war and Auapa defeated his brother and the cultists but the economy was in a shambles when the Spanish arrived.
It's all due to technology I guess, there was a time when science wasn't up to the task of prolonging life, now the patient is really put through the paces to ensure the great God technology is satiated. We don't end up on the altar of medicinal ego as much as we are offered up to the Medical Mystic's misguided efforts to aleviate the horror of being sued for not saving our butt.
That abyss of tubes, pumps, and induced comas, is not the most pleasant place to end our lives, but it's guarenteed evidence to show that every effort was made to keep you alive. Maybe we'll see the tide turning on our notions of life and death, untill then I wouldn't consider anyones life to be a thing they deserve or don't deserve, nor would I ever be so presumptious to say that prolonging life is up for debate except for those who stand in deaths doorway, waiting, it's their call...........
Life should simply be lived--not artificially prolonged. Make room for the next generation. Get out of the way, scoot.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
