Sometimes just bursting into tears?

[TRosa]

Do you have moments like this, even though your loved ones have been gone for several years? For some reason just minutes ago I just burst into tears. I mean I really know it's the holiday season at this moment causing it, plus watching that stupid Duck family and all their holiday cheer. I found myself laughing then crying in the very next minute. I guess I'm coming out of the sad moment, but, it sure felt bad for a few seconds. I sooooooo miss my sisters.

Sorry if this isn't making much sense, think I'm about to cry again.

[toryturner]

My mom has been gone for four years but this time of year brings so many memories...good ones, but they still can grab me at the oddest moments and I start crying. But I feel that it is healthy to get the emotions out rather than thinking I shouldn't still be so emotional. It hurts less than it did but I still miss her so much.

[tamiznluv]

Funny you should star this thread, Rosa. I looked this morning for a thread to post what I felt last night and didn't find anything appropriate.

I didn't "just burst into tears" though. I had a little nudge.

I watched a 3 hour Barbra Streisand "Great Performances" on PBS. I love her and my mother loved her. I made tapes for her before she died so she could listen to Barbra. I kept thinking "You'd love this Momma". After about 1/2 an hour I just started to cry and weep for my mother. I wanted my Mommy. I felt so lonely without her. June '14 will be 22 years that she's been dead and I couldn't believe it felt like it was almost yesterday last night!

I understand your bursting into tears though. You hit the nail on the head about it being the holidays. They seem to widdle away the shell most of us have made to protect ourselves from the pain and then we dissolve for a minute or two. They make us think about the past and those we've lost who we shared it with and we get lonely for them. Nothing wrong with that I don't think. We just have to shake it off and go on again.

(((HUGS))) to you, my friend. I am thinking of you.

P.S. Writing this made me cry again so don't feel like you're alone.

[Marcy1210]

I still just burst into tears sometimes when thinking about Bob. I get a lump in my throat, and I'm suddenly crying. If I talk about him to my kids, I can't do it without crying. I'm okay talking to friends, but with family, I'm crying. I've been thinking a lot about people who've gone.

Tami, I miss my mom so much and it'll be 25 years this January. I've been thinking about her a lot lately for some reason. I hear her voice, remember how she walked, laughed, and was always so upbeat and happy. I don't know why she's been on my mind so much...

I was adopted, and in the early 2000's, I found my birth mom (two years too late, unfortunately), but I met her sister, and found out I had an older brother (also adopted out), and two other siblings -- younger, who she had with her husband. We were (at the time) 51 (brother), 49 (me), 47 (sister) and 37 (brother). The youngest one died of a heart attack in 2004 at age 40 (I loved him~~we got to be really close and I'm still close with his wife and daughter); the sister of a heart attack in 2008 at age 55 (she refused to acknowledge me); and then on Dec. 2nd this year, the oldest one (lung cancer~~never met him but am close with his daughter) died at age 63. This really got to me. I was thinking, three of my birth mom's kids are gone as are she and her husband, my birth dad (never knew I existed) and my oldest brother's dad (never knew he existed), and here I am. What a lonely feeling to be the last one standing...that and the holidays and missing Bob, my mom, and I've been crying a lot. Halloween through New Year's was always a stressful time, but now with a few anniversaries of loved ones, it's even harder...

{{{Hugs}}} to everyone who's feeling a little blue and sad this time of the year.

[TRosa]

Thank you all, I almost erased this thread before I headed off to bed. I cringed thinking OH NO I did it again boo hooed and whined about my siblings again in a public arena. You all made keeping it up worth while, I don't feel so alone in the matter and my heart goes out to each of you.

Thank you many times over for not making me feel like a complete idiot and for sharing your heartfelt feelings. You are all in my thoughts.

HUGS TO YOU ALL!

PS, Tami, when I was in HS, I used to wake up and go to bed singing Evergreen most every, I was a huge Streisand fan. Believe it or not some young guys that were hanging out in our family room even asked me to join their band after hearing me sing it. I believe they were tone deaf.

[tamiznluv]

LOL, Rosa, I bet your singing was lovely. Those guys were probably anything but tone deaf.

I'm sure glad you didn't take down this thread. It was exactly what I needed. Don't forget, God works in mysterious ways and He works through us.

Don't ever feel bad about expressing your feelings here. We are here for each other.

[Pikantari]

Yes, it happens to me sometimes as well. After all of these years, though, sometimes they are happy tears.

I have begun to be able to think of the good memories of my parents nd can shed a few happy tears. The event of their deaths does not affect me as badly these days.

What I have realized over the years is the way you are feeling emotionally makes a huge difference. If you are depressed in life, you will be depressed in grief. If you are happy in life, you can think of those good times with a smile on your face....

That is me, anyway...

[tamiznluv]

Originally Posted by Pikantari

Yes, it happens to me sometimes as well. After all of these years, though, sometimes they are happy tears.

I have begun to be able to think of the good memories of my parents nd can shed a few happy tears. The event of their deaths does not affect me as badly these days.

What I have realized over the years is the way you are feeling emotionally makes a huge difference. If you are depressed in life, you will be depressed in grief. If you are happy in life, you can think of those good times with a smile on your face....

That is me, anyway...

Very true words, Pik. I deliberately put a smile on my face when I walk out that door and sometimes even in the house, that I think that has helped me get over some of the sadness in my life. I've "faked it" for so long it's become reality. Most of the time. It must work because no matter where I go strangers look at me and smile back. That's a good thing to be able to make others smile and it feels good to have people smile at me too.

[TRosa]

Originally Posted by Pikantari

Yes, it happens to me sometimes as well. After all of these years, though, sometimes they are happy tears.

I have begun to be able to think of the good memories of my parents nd can shed a few happy tears. The event of their deaths does not affect me as badly these days.

What I have realized over the years is the way you are feeling emotionally makes a huge difference. If you are depressed in life, you will be depressed in grief. If you are happy in life, you can think of those good times with a smile on your face....

That is me, anyway...

More often than not, when I purposely bring on the memories they are happy, but during the holiday season, it just brings out more of the longing to have those special people present. Just the night prior, I had a dream about one of my siblings it was such a pleasant dream, in early years they were alful dreams but these years, when I have dreams and I'm spending time with family, they 99 percernt of time glorious and I wake with a warm comforting feeling as if I've just spent some quality time with family. I love those moments.

[flower54]

I was glad to see this thread, I sometimes feel that same way. But with the holidays, it is worse. Or if I hear a certain song that reminds me of the ones that have passed. I get that lump in my throat. At that point I do try to think happy memories. It is hard.