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Phonelady had SOME good advice, but the part I've quoted is just wrong. Please do not take your husband's name off the bank accounts, unless you have opened an estate and there is a bank account for the estate.
My husband passed away last February, and a couple of months later I went to the bank to take his name off the checking account. A very kind bank employee advised that I not take his name off the account for several more months. She said that it was possible that some random check could come in, made out to him, and I'd need his name on the account in order to deposit that check.
She was right. I did receive a couple of checks made out to him -- a partial refund for paid-up insurance, for example -- so I was glad his name was still on the checking account so that I could deposit the checks.
His name is still on the account, and it's been almost 8 months. I'll probably have his name taken off the account before the end of the year. But for you, it's too soon.
I was speaking from my exp and my husband did not have any of that !!! and also I will stop trying to be helpful to ppl because someone always has something to say about what I said being wrong ...can you see if someone was speaking from their exp ??? did you think of that before correcting me ? thanks but I will from now on not come here because someone always has something to say I said was wrong !!!
So sorry to hear of your loss, and it will get better. Your new reality will not be the same as it was, but that doesnt mean it cant be good.
As a similar aged man, this is my worst nightmare, not for my death, but for my surviving wife. I just know she would not be able to get things done. I have done all I can to make it easier, but I know it isn't going to be enough.
Put on your big girl panties and deal with the world. He would have wanted that for you. Make him proud. Go on with your life.
Probably not timely advice to someone that lost their husband 10 days ago...That may be
good advice a year later...
I had someone tell me 2 weeks after my loss that they were afraid I was "stuck" in my grief..
It made me worry I was letting my late husband down by being a basket case..
You should get a pet bird. Unlike dog or cats, birds are much easier to take care of and when you wake up, there something right in your house for your to look forward to take care of and to enjoy.
Get a small parrot like a cockatiel, parrotlet, green cheek conure, or a budgie. Make sure you get them young so they are easily trainable.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Quaker15
Why did you quote me and not mention anything I said?
LOL, when I re-read my post I realized I had quoted you and then forgot to address it! Oh how I love getting older...not.
What I meant to say regarding your post is to say I think that was bad advice. Parrots are very hard pets to have. They are social creatures and require much more interaction than say, a parakeet or finch. They also bite. No matter how lovely a parrot may seem, it will bite if the mood hits. A parakeet or finch won't hurt nearly as much as a parrot. Even smaller parrots like a Conure, Senegal, etc. bite HARD. My Senegal's vet tested his jaw strength...It equaled that of a Macaw. THAT is STRONGE. That is finger losing, nose losing, ear losing strong.
So if you want to suggest a bird, IMO it should be a small, non dangerous to body parts bird. This is why so many parrots of all kind are in sanctuaries that are over flowing because of advice like that. Parrots are NOT cuddly pets like dogs and cats. I love my parrot but I would not get another if he should happen to die before me which, I doubt he will.
LOL, when I re-read my post I realized I had quoted you and then forgot to address it! Oh how I love getting older...not.
What I meant to say regarding your post is to say I think that was bad advice. Parrots are very hard pets to have. They are social creatures and require much more interaction than say, a parakeet or finch. They also bite. No matter how lovely a parrot may seem, it will bite if the mood hits. A parakeet or finch won't hurt nearly as much as a parrot. Even smaller parrots like a Conure, Senegal, etc. bite HARD. My Senegal's vet tested his jaw strength...It equaled that of a Macaw. THAT is STRONGE. That is finger losing, nose losing, ear losing strong.
So if you want to suggest a bird, IMO it should be a small, non dangerous to body parts bird. This is why so many parrots of all kind are in sanctuaries that are over flowing because of advice like that. Parrots are NOT cuddly pets like dogs and cats. I love my parrot but I would not get another if he should happen to die before me which, I doubt he will.
A budgie is okay.
I certainly thought this too. I know where the poster was coming from, though. When the OP has time to settle in and arrive at her peace, she may benefit from having something to take care of. It could be a bird or a bird feeder in her yard, or a cat or a dog. I get it. It is still too soon for her, though.
I am so sorry for your loss. We all grieve in our own way but don't do so alone. Call a friend just to talk. People often don't know what to do when someone dies but if you let them know they're more than willing to be there.
So sorry for your loss. Just hold on, don't force yourself too hard into something. Maybe you can think about what your husband would like you to finish, if he was doing something and didn't have chance to finalize, like, maybe, writing something, or making a birdhouse, or whatever he liked. Cut this grass and think of him. Think that this is how his body moved, thank him for doing this before. Grieve, grieve in full, you did not separate from him yet, let you mind accept the fact of separation, accept the idea of some future without him. Make a little memorial of him in your home, care about it, change flowers. Give his clothes to charity, but keep something dear, like his favorite old jacket, for yourself, to wrap in during long cold winter evenings. Think about your connection, think about his love for you (20 years together speak of it), think that he would like to see you are holding up, keeping going, maybe even smiling a bit.
With these bills - jus sort them, pay utilities and insurance, pay minimum on ccards, disregard everything else because your mind isn't working properly now and it is totally normal. Only heartless and the bravest ones can wake up net day after a funeral and function as usually. For bravest ones, it comes with high cost, though.
Claims can probably wait, just look for filing deadlines, highlight it, put in a pile with a date a week before the first deadline.
Let yourself think if him, remember your life together, things you both loved, think of what you can do for his memory.
When you will be back at work, you'll become more active, but for now, do small things, and movies aren't bad.
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Oh how I love getting older...not. 
