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I think I'd just do a card. But make it a handwritten card, not a store-bought sympathy card. Maybe even a whole short letter, talking about how you wish you could be there, and about your memories of the daughter.
This will probably sound crazy, but this is the way I feel....
love flowers outside in my garden, but when someone sends me flowers, I hate it, it's a waste of money and they die...and reminds me of death....(I'm sorry but I really hate it when someone sends me flowers)
If you feel you would like to purchase something for them, then send a card, telling them your thinking of them, before the anniversary, and send them a gift card, asking them to maybe go out to eat...or to a movie, or both...
I would rather have a gift card, over any old flowers that would die, and enjoy the evening, instead of sitting around depressed....
Personally, I would not send flowers, but would send a hand written card. I think it is really nice of you to remember your friends' loss a year later. Letting them know that you are thinking of them is a kind and meaningful gesture. I have nothing against flowers, but something written from your heart would be more personal.
Agree with Grasshopper.....nice of you to let them know you are thinking of them.
If we DO give flowers which is rarely, it is part of a potted plant arrangement that will keep on growing and flowering, otherwise we don't.
I also think that flowers are a waste of money, but one bouquet draped across the top of a closed coffin with a good photo of the deceased person looks nice. (I don't like open coffins-I'd rather remember then like they used to look)
Just a quick update. I decided to take Cida's advice and just send a hand written card with a short note letting them know that I was thinking about the entire family. I also called on the anniversary date, which turned out to be perfect as the unveiling was the next day. We had a nice conversation, sharing some happy memories of their special daughter. My friends mentioned that no one else had called, and that it was nice to get my call on that date. I really appreciated everyone's thoughts and advice on this. It really helped me decide what to do -- thank you all.
I like your tree idea too...along with a heartfelt message.
I think anything you do to let them know you are thinking of them and that their daughter is not forgotten is the right thing to do.
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