Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I moved away from my old state almost two years after my son died. It was difficult for me to keep explaining that he was diabetic and didn't take care of himself. His choice.
One day I woke up and realized there was nothing tying me to my state anymore. I stayed to be close to my son. I had personally had enough of the cold and snow, so I left.
It's been a year and a half since then and I've gotten to know some people but not that many yet. I just moved into a new complex and somehow forgot it's Mother's Day weekend. A few neighbors have asked if I'm a mother and I hesitate to answer.
That's a yes and no. I still feel like his mother, even though he's gone, but technically I suppose I'm not.
I'll be glad when today is over and the question quite coming up.
You will always be a mother, as you have borne a child. So be proud and reply with yes, and then whatever you want to say.....I had a son but he has passed, or I have a son, then explain if asked about him. I feel you can participate in child discussions as well if you desire......when my son was 2 he XXXX.
Mothers Day is every year. Enjoy your memories of the good times with you son.
You will always be a mother, as you have borne a child. So be proud and reply with yes, and then whatever you want to say.....I had a son but he has passed, or I have a son, then explain if asked about him. I feel you can participate in child discussions as well if you desire......when my son was 2 he XXXX.
Mothers Day is every year. Enjoy your memories of the good times with you son.
^^ You were his mother. That doesn't go away because he died.
Mothers Day. It may not be happy, but it's still a Hallmark Holiday.
I hadn't heard from my son for a week - he lives about 20 miles away, so when he came here this evening, I fed him spaghetti red, a nice wine, and asked him to take out the trash. I also told him that since it was mother's day that he should clean my toilet bowl. He did. I thought he was going to say something like, "Are you freaking serious?"
You will always be a mother, as you have borne a child. So be proud and reply with yes, and then whatever you want to say.....I had a son but he has passed, or I have a son, then explain if asked about him. I feel you can participate in child discussions as well if you desire......when my son was 2 he XXXX.
Mothers Day is every year. Enjoy your memories of the good times with you son.
Thank you, lodestar. Even after all this time I'm still not used to his being gone. I never know what to say when people ask if I have children.
I moved away from my old state almost two years after my son died. It was difficult for me to keep explaining that he was diabetic and didn't take care of himself. His choice.
One day I woke up and realized there was nothing tying me to my state anymore. I stayed to be close to my son. I had personally had enough of the cold and snow, so I left.
It's been a year and a half since then and I've gotten to know some people but not that many yet. I just moved into a new complex and somehow forgot it's Mother's Day weekend. A few neighbors have asked if I'm a mother and I hesitate to answer.
That's a yes and no. I still feel like his mother, even though he's gone, but technically I suppose I'm not.
I'll be glad when today is over and the question quite coming up.
I'm sorry for your loss. I'm sure that you were a very good mother. I hope that God gives you peace.
Meo----I recall your posting about your son some moons back.....
Would it help to know that so often we identify with roles we carried a life time . Such as MOM or cousin.
When I lost my mom I was bewildered.....Every fiber of my being kept saying...I am an orphan now. (yes at the ripe age of 50...I descended into a lonesome state of mis identity. ). Then a poster on the grief thread said, you will ALWAYS be HER daughter. And somehow it gave such comfort to know I still belonged ....and was a part of her history ...as she is mine. Your Son is still your son, that hasn't changed. His essences is with you ...and validates that you are his Mother..
I know if I sat and listened to you I'd be humbled .....
Thanks nov. I felt so different when my mom died. It was such a relief when she was finally at peace.
She had dementia and when she was lucid, she was so sad that the things she loved to do, reading, gardening and fishing, she was no longer able to handle. So, it was a blessing.
With my son, he insisted he was going to eat and drink (a lot of pop and candy) whatever he wanted to, no matter the consequences. It was hard to know he was harming himself in that manner. But there's nothing a person can do when someone is self destructive. Just love them through it.
Thank you, lodestar. Even after all this time I'm still not used to his being gone. I never know what to say when people ask if I have children.
You hit the nail on the head.
I hope this will come across the way I intend, which is with great sympathy for your loss. But you will never be used to his being gone. And you shouldn't be. It's just not within us to get past the loss of a child, because that goes against the order of things. So with deepest sympathy, I also want to urge you to be more gentle on yourself, and not hold yourself to an arbitrary and unnatural standard. Be as kind to yourself as you would be to a friend in the same circumstances. And I hope that on balance, the memory of your clearly beloved son can bring you more joy than pain.
I moved away from my old state almost two years after my son died. It was difficult for me to keep explaining that he was diabetic and didn't take care of himself. His choice.
One day I woke up and realized there was nothing tying me to my state anymore. I stayed to be close to my son. I had personally had enough of the cold and snow, so I left.
It's been a year and a half since then and I've gotten to know some people but not that many yet. I just moved into a new complex and somehow forgot it's Mother's Day weekend. A few neighbors have asked if I'm a mother and I hesitate to answer.
That's a yes and no. I still feel like his mother, even though he's gone, but technically I suppose I'm not.
I'll be glad when today is over and the question quite coming up.
I am so sorry for your loss. As a parent, I can not begin to imagine the pain.
Everyone says the holidays are always the worst, hope you are doing well and are able to heal.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
