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My Mom died in 1999 and I still miss her every day. I still talk to her and buy a gift for her every now and then, a what-not that I see that I know she would like. I know she is with me ever day but I never stop missing her.
Mom died of cancer and we kept her at home. Me and my sister took care of her until the end. Hospice wasn't called in until 3 days before she died. Taking care of Mama as she was dying was some of the best times she and I ever had. I would get in the shower with her and we would act like a couple of kids in there and have a ball. We would sit on the porch in the evening and talk about things, kid and joke with each other. She told me many times she had a great life and was ready to "go". I would discuss her dying with her openly (where my sister couldn't), I pre-arranged her service and told her what I had planned for her and where we were going to bury her and she got excited that she was going to be close to my brother who had died several years before. Those were some of the best times we ever had and we were closer than we ever were.
I still have Mama's cat that she loved dearly and feel like I still have a piece of Mama's heart with me. Boo stayed by her side until the end and was laying on her chest when she died. We had to remove her when they came to take Mama away and I talk to her about Mama all the time.
Nothing in life prepares you for the loss of your parent but I do not grieve for that loss. I was at peace with her dying and her death.... I just miss her!
What you did was a great idea! I know she is looking down, laughing her butt off at what you are doing bragging "That's my baby!"
I am glad you had a special bond with your mom at the end. My sister and I took care of my mom. They wanted to keep her in the hospital but she wanted to be at home. I am glad that is what we did.
Both my parents passed away suddenly..I was 25 when my father died and 39 when my mother went. The hardest part for me is that I never felt as if we'd communicated as three adults. I always felt like the 'kid' and I think now that it was more to do with the sort of person I was, even though I know we are always the 'child' to our parents.
After my mom died, I started having dreams in which the 3 of us were together, and chatting as 3 adults, not as equals, but differently to how it actually was. I understand so much more now about why they thought the way they did, and would've liked to have shown them this. Hopefully they know somehow.
And now I've made myself cry.
What got to me after my father died was all the stuff I found out about his experiences as a soldier in the German Army in WW2. I'd assumed so much, because like most soldiers, he never spoke about it. And I was completely wrong. He really went through hell. My mother went through the depression with her mom and sister..they were a lot tougher than I gave them credit for.
I think realizing all these things was a form of closure/resolution/whatever you want to call it, for me.
Thanks for the thread.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts. With Christmas coming it is going to hard this year.
My father and mother dying was hard to take but i always remember that they lived to a very old age. I really think it must be a competely different experience for those that have them or another loved one die young.
Yes...age does have a bearing on the whole thing. My Dad was 82....but his Dad lived to 94...so my thoughts initally were "If I had my Dad until he was 94, then I would have had him 12 more years, he would have saw my kids graduate from college and he would have become a great Grandpa." I got over that thought and was thankful that he died peacefully, that we never had to take his car keys away from him or amputate his legs due to diabetes.
My heart does break for those who loose their parents early in life and for those who bury a child...no matter what age.
It is always hard to lose that one you love! I lost my dad when I just got out of high school. And mom to cancer in 06', as much as I would love for them to be here and see my first child.... I know deep down in my heart they are still with me every step of the way!
i remember the day before my mom passed away. she was dying of brain tumors at home. it was so bad to see her suffer. but anyway she was'nt talking much but i had gone over after work to see her and just layed with her in bed snuggled next to her.(i can still smell her)out of the blue she says:I love you debbie.. i said i love you too.and that was the last thing she said. she passed away that night about 2am. she was my best friend. the world is a lonely place for me without her. my dad has a little shrine of sorts. so every christmas we decorate it. that was her favorite time of year. its only been 2 years but i will never get over it. how i dealt with it too was not good. i got into a very bad habit of drinking,its gotten better i look to healthier things to get me through it.
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