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A lot of threads and posts on this site seem to have a love it or hate kind of theme to them, so I thought I'd add a "it's okay" theme thread to it. lol
I don't hate Hawaii, but I don't love it either. I just like it.
Do you think moving to hawaii and living here is something you should do only if you're highly motivated and love Hawaii? I've been pretty lukewarm about the whole thing (although during the first month I loved it). It's really pretty out here, but the novelty has been wearing off after a few months, and, when it comes down to it, it's really just another place to live.
I guess I kind of came out here with stars in my eyes, but, in my defense, I was given the opportunity to live out here for the summer for a ridiculously low cost. I just graduated college last year with two impractical degrees and I really didn't have much tying me down and I had money saved up, so I jumped at an opportunity to give Hawaii a trial run (I moved from Utah).
I've gone surfing a bunch, went skydiving, gone hiking, enjoyed how friendly people are, and overall seen some cool things. I've also seen or taken into account some of the more negative aspects of it, such as all the theft, the high cost for substandard housing/apartments, poor job market, little opportunity, beaches full of homeless people, slight racial tension, and so on.
I think the thing that really gets me is I'm afraid of getting stuck on this island living paycheck to paycheck just to be able to say I live in Hawaii. Consequently, I can't really bring myself to buy a car or a bike or anything that I can't just throw in my suitcase.
I'm still reluctant to go though, since this is kind of a once in a lifetime opportunity, but then, I don't really want to live here just to say I live here. I could continue living here with a pretty good deal in rent, but honestly I guess I just don't see the big deal. I guess I feel this unspoken pressure that I'm supposed to love Hawaii and think it's the greatest thing ever, but that's not how I feel about it. And while I could stay and get a good deal in rent, I could get a better one in the state I previously lived in.
I don't know. I've been going back and forth about this for the past month, and it seems to me that if I'm doing that, then I already have my answer. Am I wrong?
A lot of threads and posts on this site seem to have a love it or hate kind of theme to them, so I thought I'd add a "it's okay" theme thread to it. lol
I don't hate Hawaii, but I don't love it either. I just like it.
Do you think moving to hawaii and living here is something you should do only if you're highly motivated and love Hawaii? I've been pretty lukewarm about the whole thing (although during the first month I loved it). It's really pretty out here, but the novelty has been wearing off after a few months, and, when it comes down to it, it's really just another place to live.
I guess I kind of came out here with stars in my eyes, but, in my defense, I was given the opportunity to live out here for the summer for a ridiculously low cost. I just graduated college last year with two impractical degrees and I really didn't have much tying me down and I had money saved up, so I jumped at an opportunity to give Hawaii a trial run (I moved from Utah).
I've gone surfing a bunch, went skydiving, gone hiking, enjoyed how friendly people are, and overall seen some cool things. I've also seen or taken into account some of the more negative aspects of it, such as all the theft, the high cost for substandard housing/apartments, poor job market, little opportunity, beaches full of homeless people, slight racial tension, and so on.
I think the thing that really gets me is I'm afraid of getting stuck on this island living paycheck to paycheck just to be able to say I live in Hawaii. Consequently, I can't really bring myself to buy a car or a bike or anything that I can't just throw in my suitcase.
I'm still reluctant to go though, since this is kind of a once in a lifetime opportunity, but then, I don't really want to live here just to say I live here. I could continue living here with a pretty good deal in rent, but honestly I guess I just don't see the big deal. I guess I feel this unspoken pressure that I'm supposed to love Hawaii and think it's the greatest thing ever, but that's not how I feel about it. And while I could stay and get a good deal in rent, I could get a better one in the state I previously lived in.
I don't know. I've been going back and forth about this for the past month, and it seems to me that if I'm doing that, then I already have my answer. Am I wrong?
Every place is just that -- a place. It will have its goods and bads and it's up to you to determine if you like (or dislike) it enough to stay. One thing you should remember is that no one but you cares where you decide to live. So don't fall for some perceived "pressure" to live somewhere. Also, you are young and are not a prisoner meaning you can come and go as you please. So if you are unhappy or want to try out a different place, by all means make that decision for yourself.
You can always come back to a place if you figure out it's the best fit for you.
I think what you might be encountering, when you feel pressured to love Hawaii, is a common need to belong to something, or to identify oneself with others. People do it with the place they live, where they work, their religion, and of course any physical aspect (race, age, sex, hair color, whatever). Maui no ka oi, Texas love it or leave it, Youth rocks, Older and wiser, Blondes have more fun... you get the idea.
Most of us like to be both the same as others, and also unique. Feeling happy to live in Hawaii, proud to be a Hawaiian citizen... for some those might be bragging points, or ways to distinguish oneself from others while still belonging to a group.
I know I get envious comments when I tell some where I live. I mention it during business trips, and people might remember me more because of it. It's a great conversation starter, and something I enjoy saying to get a certain reaction and flow going.
Now, do I like living here because other people like that I live here? No, however much fun it might be to say so. I like living here because I like it here. If you don't like it here, or don't like it enough, then if you can go somewhere else, you should. Not because you aren't welcome, but because you should be happy and excited (or at the very least content) to be where ever you are, especially if you have the resources and freedom to do so.
It does sound like you are unfettered and able to relocate. What a wonderful experience you will have, trying out another spot. And if that doesn't engage you, move again.
Of course if you never find any place where you find continual enjoyment and stimulation, then you'll have to do some internal investigation. Sometimes it's not the surroundings causing boredom and discontent, it is ourselves. But you're probably a long way from that.
Write down all the things you must have in a place.
Write down all the things that would be nice but won't kill the deal if not always available.
Write down all the things that you could take or leave one way or the other.
Write down all the things you don't like but can live with in very small doses.
Write down all the things you won't accept.
Check each one against what Hawaii honestly has to offer. If you have more negatives than positives, you need to think real hard about the move. If it's a balance, decide if any of those negatives would be just too much to take if it happens. If the positives outweigh the negatives, start packing.
Second, that maybe your fear of becoming "trapped", as demonstrated by your reluctance to buy a bike, car, etc., might have the result of making your life here more 'blah' than it would have to be. I mean, if you think it would be nicer to have a bike, and you can afford it, buy a bike - you can always sell it (or even take it with you) if you decide to leave. Same for a car, stereo, whatever. You can't really know what it's like to live in a place unless you are actually LIVING there, not just living out of a suitcase. (Now I'm not saying buy a house, or go overboard - just chill a bit with the worries about being able to "take it with you").
Third, you're absolutely right. And so is Calico Salsa. Living in Hawaii is kind of 'cool' but that's not enough reason to stay here. Another thing is that because tourism is SO big here, and because of the unique history, we're bombarded every day with reminders/propaganda about how "special" Hawaii is. Hawaii is more "Hawaiian" than most states. For some people that is a plus, for others a minor annoyance, maybe for some it is unbearable. But it does tend to make you think that there's "something wrong with you" if you don't think Hawaii is the greatest thing since sliced bread. (There's not.)
Live out the summer here, try to really live here, without dwelling so much on whether you're going to stay. Keep your eyes open for opportunities, such as low-rent deals, good jobs, etc. that might continue into the fall. As you have been, enjoy what Hawaii has to offer. You can always go somewhere else after the summer, and if you discover that you really did like Hawaii best, well, come back. Or you can stay a little longer and then leave. If you can, save a little money from each paycheck and you'll have more flexibility - not be living 'paycheck to paycheck', and have an escape valve.
It sounds like you have made a very honest personal assessment! That's a very good thing. Going with the general belief will frequently not fit everyone which will leave the folks not making their own assessments in not quite right situations.
Usually when folks list the pros and cons, one side will be significantly higher than the other giving a clear answer. In your case, it sounds like it comes out more even in the short term but more con than pro in the long run. Actually, what you are talking about might be one of the reasons so many people move here for a year or two and then go back to the mainland - although you at least didn't start out at the "I'm moving to Paradise!!!!" level to begin with.
I think places aren't appreciated as much unless you've left them for a bit. You may really enjoy Utah if you move back there. Of course, you can also move back and find out it doesn't fit and then since you will have left Hawaii, you can then move back to Hawaii and it will fit there. That involves a lot of moving! Ack! How about making a list of what you want out of life and then figure out the best place to be for that sort of life to occur?
I'm fifty or sixty years past your time of life, and your post makes me try to remember about how I felt about where I was, back then.
I guess it really depended on what I was doing and who I was spending time with then, and only partly on where I was.
When I first came to Hawaii, I was ordered there, by the Navy, and I was tickled pink - I had asked for a submarine homeported in Pearl Harbor, and I got one. I was newly married. It was my first submarine.
I really liked Hawaii - still do, but thinking back on what made those days good or bad (there were both), it was the people and the job that really drove the equation.
My best advice is to look for a great job, look for great friends and a great gal (assuming you're a guy), and see what develops. If it doesn't go well here, move, but look for the same things after you move.
Don't know if Hawaii could ever be "just another place to live." Too many extraordinary aspects - from it's location, local culture (music! dance! food!), mix of races, incredible beauty, weather and a premier world destination for visitors from around the globe.
It's easy to take all of the above for granted and the unique can become commonplace after awhile if you don't have other interests or family or a circle of friends or a job you enjoy. It guess like any other place, it could become a lonely place if you have no established ties or roots or interest to keep you there.
Wonderful posts. I'm impressed with the intelligence and thoughtfulness expressed in them.
Firstly, you guys are probably right that friends and a girlfriend would make me more likely to stay. But, I can make those pretty much wherever I go (I'm really not trying to sound cold here), and I'm not sure that's a good enough reason to live in a place with a high cost of living.
Secondly, I will be staying here for another month and a half. I'm hoping I'll have a clearer idea of whether I want to stay or go by then (I'll see about making a list of pros and cons and what I want out of a place to live). Maybe I'll find a better job than the two menial ones I have right now, and maybe that will make me more likely to stay. *shrugs*
Thirdly, I should have access to a car for a little while in a few weeks when some more of my family comes to visit my brother, who I'm living with. I thought about buying a car, but then I remembered the horrible parking, the traffic, I'm on a small island (I'm on Oahu), it would cost an arm and a leg to ship it, and I'm not sure I can be bothered to buy and sell one when I'm not even sure I'm going to stay here. I could buy a cheap bike though, so maybe I'll do that.
Fourthly, Hawaii is a really beautiful place (and I really don't mean to be flippant when I say it's really just another place to live), but I'm realizing that it's beautiful in its own way, much like Utah is beautiful in its own way. Being out in the water on my surf board and looking around at the scenery can be an incredible experience. Likewise, being on my snowboard up on a mountain resort in Utah can also be an incredible experience. I'm sure the same could be said of other places. I guess what I'm saying here is that Hawaii is beautiful, but not so beautiful that it would be the determining factor in staying here.
Lastly, I'm thinking I might try living in some other places. I really don't want to reside in one place my entire life, without knowing whether I would have fit better with another place.
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