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You mention your father has had a stroke and now has some limitations (like getting into the water).
Is there the possibility he will require increasing medical care in the coming years? If so, I would make that a priority in deciding which island to move your father to.
Or at least which town to move to on the island you choose.
You could also consider renting a house for yourself, move your father into the home you rent, and then rent out his existing house. That way, he would still have his house to go back to if you and the kids decide you can't make a go of it or want to return to The mainland.
In your original post you said that your father lives "on" Kona, so I guess you meant the Big Island, because he actually lives in Pahoa. Kailua-Kona, aka Kona, is a town on the opposite side of the island from Hilo and is a lot different than where your father lives now.
I still think that you would benefit GREATLY by reading the many informative threads on this forum before spending tons of money island hopping around for 30 days. It will cost you at least $150 round trip from Kona to Honolulu, as an example, plus you will spend around $30-$40 a day for a rental car on each island. I also suggest that you look at housing prices on realtor websites on-line to give you a better understanding of what your money will get you on the various islands.
I think the most important thing for you at this point is not "how to get involved in the community" but "how will I find affordable housing for my family" and "how will I have an income". Just because you are earnest and hard working does not mean that you'll be able to find work that will both support your family and give you time to play with your kids. In fact, a lot of people work two or three jobs just to make ends meet.
PLEASE read through this forum and read books that are suggested to you. It's not that easy here!
I do apologies, not being from that area my locations/ terminology might be slightly off.
Hummmmmm. I must be mistaken. I thought I informed employment is not a concern, for I work from home, online. My means to provide for my family was established some time ago, but thank you all for your concerns over my financial situation. I will not be island hopping for 30 days but only 3 out of 30, all scheduled and priced out. I HAVE put in much research books and online, and have put together a budget, just know there is still much to learn, this forum is not my first stop. Never asked for it to be "that easy" and dont have much expectations. Just touching all resources. Seems I have upset you and not my intent.
I am finding plenty of homes in my budget. I will reiterate, looking for nice communities to take a look at with desired amenities, without a commercialized vibe. I have been reading through the forums, still not finding the info I am exactly looking for, but I will keep searching. Tell me something Wikipedia cant, plz Being new here, maybe you can give me better direction to how to find these threads I am apparently missing. Oh wait... That might be me asking too much, dont want to go and make things easy for myself, now do I?! hahahha!
I can see basics online and in books. Looking for the inside perspective from someone who has experienced. Where "abouts" did you raise your kids? What did you enjoy doing there? I find houses in areas I want to live without the amenities I am looking for and vise versa. No one can offer an inside scoop before I arrive or point me in a better direction?
I know if anyone wanted to move/visit San Diego, I could tell them the areas to stay away from, great places to visit, live, visit but dont live Good bachelor areas, or family oriented areas, what climate and nature has to offer. Confused why I cant find the answers Im looking for.
You mention your father has had a stroke and now has some limitations (like getting into the water).
Is there the possibility he will require increasing medical care in the coming years? If so, I would make that a priority in deciding which island to move your father to.
Or at least which town to move to on the island you choose.
You could also consider renting a house for yourself, move your father into the home you rent, and then rent out his existing house. That way, he would still have his house to go back to if you and the kids decide you can't make a go of it or want to return to The mainland.
I like where you are going with this! I will say medically WAS a HUGE concerned, although now he doesnt require much medical attention, beside routines visits for his meds and is between doctors. He has ensured me it is not a concern to him, but we will be lining him up a new doctor as soon as we relocate.
He currently rents a room from a couple and will be moving in with me once we are situated.
Recap of Topics (read above for more details)
1.) Affordable Temporary Housing
2.) Island/Location & Housing Recommendations
3.) Getting Involved in the Community
4.) Slowing Our Lifestyle Down
1,2 - Can't help with the Big Island, as I live on Oahu. I can say that Oahu has alot of the things you mention you are not interested in...can be touristy and has a higher population. But at the same time Oahu does have a great mix of restaurants/amusement opportunities. From what I have read of what you want, Kailua keeps coming to mind. It's more suburb'ish than Honolulu, yet still has access to stores and some of the nicest non-surfing beaches on the island.
3 - Beach Clean-ups and Non-Profits. Both of which are easy ways to contribute to the community.
4 - My lifestyle has sped up living here. I work harder and more professionally than I did on the mainland. It's my patience level that has slowed (grown) considerably.
Sometimes I wonder when people talk about slowing down....if they just became more patient, they would probably achieve the same results regardless of where they live.
Note: To get mainland-type inernet speeds you have to pay a premium. The two primay providers on island are Hawaiian Telcom, and Oceanic Cable (aka Road Runner).
I do apologies, not being from that area my locations/ terminology might be slightly off.
Hummmmmm. I must be mistaken. I thought I informed employment is not a concern, for I work from home, online. My means to provide for my family was established some time ago, but thank you all for your concerns over my financial situation. I will not be island hopping for 30 days but only 3 out of 30, all scheduled and priced out. I HAVE put in much research books and online, and have put together a budget, just know there is still much to learn, this forum is not my first stop. Never asked for it to be "that easy" and dont have much expectations. Just touching all resources. Seems I have upset you and not my intent.
I am finding plenty of homes in my budget. I will reiterate, looking for nice communities to take a look at with desired amenities, without a commercialized vibe. I have been reading through the forums, still not finding the info I am exactly looking for, but I will keep searching. Tell me something Wikipedia cant, plz Being new here, maybe you can give me better direction to how to find these threads I am apparently missing. Oh wait... That might be me asking too much, dont want to go and make things easy for myself, now do I?! hahahha!
I can see basics online and in books. Looking for the inside perspective from someone who has experienced. Where "abouts" did you raise your kids? What did you enjoy doing there? I find houses in areas I want to live without the amenities I am looking for and vise versa. No one can offer an inside scoop before I arrive or point me in a better direction?
I know if anyone wanted to move/visit San Diego, I could tell them the areas to stay away from, great places to visit, live, visit but dont live Good bachelor areas, or family oriented areas, what climate and nature has to offer. Confused why I cant find the answers Im looking for.
Sorry, I thought that you were also looking for employment when I saw this in your original post: "I would like to slow our lifestyle down, perhaps work/live on a ranch/farm, caretaker, or run a more enjoyable family business/ assist another family with theirs, an option that can provide for our financial obligations without sacrificing our time together as a family. Any ideas?! Or know anyone who could benefit from a vivacious, hardworking/efficient, and determined family… Send them my way! *wink*"
In answer to your original question, then -- you probably can find what you are looking for on any of the islands. As I said, the Kona side of the Big Island is entirely different from the Hilo side where your father lives. Kona side has white beaches and you can probably find what you are looking for in one of the many neighborhoods there or in Waimea. Or maybe even a smaller place like Hawi.
Where your father lives now (Pahoa) it's as rainy as it is in Kauai. When he wants sunny sandy beaches, it's Waikoloa for you on the Big Island (where he lives). This area also has the islands highest disposable income, best airport, best big box stores (Waimea, Kailua Kona) in driving distance.
Maui would be the second choice (Kahului).
I would check and also post on craigslist.org for affordable accommodations. Also airbnb.com
Is there room for you to stay with your dad? Does he know of any housing nearby? Since you don't know where you'll be looking, that might be a place to start. Does he have any friends he will want to stay in contact with?
You may not find everything you are looking for in one spot and if you find everything you want, it isn't likely to be affordable because if it was, we'd be there. Overall, the Big Island is most likely to be affordable and yet still have anything reminiscent of amenities. Not over populated or touristy translates to "rural" usually. Still, "not over populated" can mean many different densities of population depending on your reference set.
Nearby beach access with white sand just pretty much put it out of the "affordable" range. You may want to try Kailua in the Kona district. There might be some semi-affordable rentals over there and there are several sand access beaches there. You'll have to drive to the beach, though, although perhaps you may be able to find a condo near enough to walk, but it won't be cheap.
No wildlife. Hawaii doesn't have wildlife, unless you want to count mongoose and cockroaches big enough to be wildlife. There might be feral pigs, but that probably doesn't count as "wildlife" either. Technically, they are "feral" and not "wild" although there's enough of them out there.
Indoor laundry area might be more of a condo thing, it's not really typical of single family residence. Most laundries are in the carport or garage. Central A/C?!! Are you out of your ever loving mind? When you've gotten the cost of electricity ingrained into your psyche from the first electric bill, you'll know why A/C is as rare as it is around here. Dishwashers are kinda an endangered beastie, too, but you could probably find one.
Getting involved with the community probably depends on which community you end up in. And it will be pretty apparent what the dominant social groups are once you're there.
One of the major problems with living in Hawaii is that the high cost of living means you'll spend more time working to get money. Which in turn, means less time with your family. I don't know if you'd be considered for a caretaker position since you've already got several dependents as well as an elderly relative to take care of and won't have much time to take care of anything else.
If you want to slow down and spend more time with your family, taking the online work that you have and moving to somewhere with a low cost of living, you'd then be able to have more time to spend with them.
How long are you people going to go back and forth saying the same thing?
Her father rents a room.
I guess he has limited income so no help here.
She implies she makes tons of money sitting at her keyboard.
So why is there a problem.
She has the typical Pollyanna attitude that most have about Hawaii.
I feel sorry for her home schooled children which you all have seemed to forget.
Good thing you showed up to set everyone straight.
Imagine trying to sort out a move without all of this invaluable input?
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Being new here, maybe you can give me better direction to how to find these threads I am apparently missing. Oh wait... That might be me asking too much, dont want to go and make things easy for myself, now do I?! hahahha! 
Good bachelor areas, or family oriented areas, what climate and nature has to offer. Confused why I cant find the answers Im looking for.
