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Ok so my first time posting on this forum. So anyways I'm 31 and me and my fiance have been having sex for a year and a half. We are both each others first. Well anyways sex hurts all the time and I"m always ticklish. So I went to the geno and got everything looked at and so far everything is good. Also I went to a specialist and she gave me cream for to relax my muscles for my vagina. She said my opening is a little tight so when a penis enters it will hurt a little bit. So I try the cream and still nothing.
I do get wet when we have sex but for the whole thing I don't think I do. Also we always use lube just incase. So anyways we would kiss and do foreplay and sometimes its ticklish. Then when he enters we have to do it very slowly. We go in inch by inch and we wait a little bit before he goes farther in. Every time he goes in and out its annoying actually. Also when he fingers me and rubs the clit it feels like a hurt tickle. Also he rubs on the outside still nothing. Sex is suppose to be fun so why I'm I missing out on this?
Also I don't think I never really get horny and I never had a orgasm. It wasn't till a few years ago that I tried masterbation. I tried putting a ***** up there and also just trying a vibrator on the outside. I get wet sometimes doing that other times I don't. Also I"m sitting there masberbating and I"m like ok this is boring? I don't feel anything from this? Same thing when he fingers me. I get that hurt tickle and want him to stop. When we are having sex I would rather him hurry up and *** so that way he isn't going in and out of me. That way sex is over and it don't hurt. I think sexy thoughts when having sex and distract my self from saying that it will hurt all the time. I want sex to feel exciting and fun but I don't feel that. So hopefully in the next month I can go to a specialist and hopefully they can figure out what is wrong. I don't think he is doing anything wrong and I think it could just be me?
Ok so my first time posting on this forum. So anyways I'm 31 and me and my fiance have been having sex for a year and a half. We are both each others first. Well anyways sex hurts all the time and I"m always ticklish. So I went to the geno and got everything looked at and so far everything is good. Also I went to a specialist and she gave me cream for to relax my muscles for my vagina. She said my opening is a little tight so when a penis enters it will hurt a little bit. So I try the cream and still nothing.
I do get wet when we have sex but for the whole thing I don't think I do. Also we always use lube just incase. So anyways we would kiss and do foreplay and sometimes its ticklish. Then when he enters we have to do it very slowly. We go in inch by inch and we wait a little bit before he goes farther in. Every time he goes in and out its annoying actually. Also when he fingers me and rubs the clit it feels like a hurt tickle. Also he rubs on the outside still nothing. Sex is suppose to be fun so why I'm I missing out on this?
Also I don't think I never really get horny and I never had a orgasm. It wasn't till a few years ago that I tried masterbation. I tried putting a ***** up there and also just trying a vibrator on the outside. I get wet sometimes doing that other times I don't. Also I"m sitting there masberbating and I"m like ok this is boring? I don't feel anything from this? Same thing when he fingers me. I get that hurt tickle and want him to stop. When we are having sex I would rather him hurry up and *** so that way he isn't going in and out of me. That way sex is over and it don't hurt. I think sexy thoughts when having sex and distract my self from saying that it will hurt all the time. I want sex to feel exciting and fun but I don't feel that. So hopefully in the next month I can go to a specialist and hopefully they can figure out what is wrong. I don't think he is doing anything wrong and I think it could just be me?
try the urologist for him and another obgyn. usually there is some mechanical issue. it's come up in my past cuz of my size and SO's unique anatomical shape of her reproductive system (titled uterus), not bragging just saying when there is reoccurring pain involved it's usually a sign of physical and sexual incompatibility due to the pieces of the puzzle not fitting together quite as well as you would like. usually a him and her issue i think and sometimes you can "fix" by doing only positioning, that can be a challenge long term though. sucks when it's someone you wanna be connected to. good luck.
I can't say for sure. But do you have problems with penetration in general OP?
I have problems with that as well. Couldn't have any kind of penetration for any reason. Some women are very tight, possibly have Vaginismus, in which case, work needs to be done before sex. Dilators are sold on amazon that some women use to stretch a bit, but also to practice working and controlling vaginal muscles so during sexual activity, you'll be a bit more prepared and seasoned.
Then, you could be tight, on top of your fiance being over average in size, which won't help the issue.
But like I said, I can't say it's Vaginismus for sure.
A muscle relaxing cream? Did one of you go out and buy a regular bottle of lubricant? It's normal to use that even if your body's doing its job. That's going to be step 1. Step 2 is you need to learn how to relax. If the doctor confirmed you're fine, but a little on the small side, that just means you two need some time and a lot of patience to find how to make it work. You're probably frustrated and anxious and stressed. Three things that will make it very hard to enjoy sex.
Yes, sex is supposed to be fun and not hurt. But if your body has never experienced it, you're going to fall off the proverbial horse a few times. Some women who remain celibate until marriage still masturbate. This gets your body familiar with things that come with sex later on down the line. And more importantly, you learn what your body likes and doesn't like. Right now it sounds like you're working with a completely blank slate. It will help you immensely if you take private time to explore your body on your own, and then bring the hubby in to help. You have to ask the doctor about this, but it's possible it will help with physical discomfort if you warm up with toys before regular intercourse.
There's a trillion ways to rub a woman in certain places. He'll probably figure out the way that's pleasurable for you eventually, but it'll be quicker for you to do it on your own. This board is PG-13, so you'll have to consult Google or another forum for details on how to get there.
Don't leave it up to him. You're not a car he's driving. Nothing is his fault and nothing is your fault. You guys just have a lot of exploring to do and possibly some heavy reading to guide the way.
I can almost guarantee you it'll help immensely if you learn how to bring yourself to orgasm so that you can teach him. There's no way for a newly sexual man to navigate a woman's body with enough skill to get it done himself.
VanillaChocolate also mentioned "on top," which reminds me to ask whether you've tried that position yet. :P Tell him to stay still while you take the reigns and move at the exact pace that's comfortable for you. He can enjoy the view while you figure out what feels best without him getting unintentionally pushy.
If you are unable to achieve orgasm even from masturbating, I suspect it will be very difficult for you to do so with a partner. I'm no sex therapist, but I would suggest exploring what turns you on and trying to achieve orgasm solo, and then take what works and try it with your significant other.
Sounds like your hormones are out of whack. You should get more pleasure from the foreplay if everything was working correctly.
Talk to your doc about the whole problem, not just penetration. You can get a prescription for something with more estrogen and testosterone that will increase your sex drive.
You're not on antidepressants, are you? That can also mess up your sex drive.
I don't think its Vaginismus because I asked the geno about that and she said if that was the case she wouldn't be able to do any test on me. But yes I do have problems with penetration in general. The muscle relaxing cream was a cream that my doctor gave me to try. For the lube we just went to a store and picked up regular tube. But yes I did try on top a couple times and it feels the same to me. Also I'll ask about the hormones as well. That way they can check and see how they are and also I"m not on antidepressants.
Dr. Clean mentioned what I'm thinking. Is your SO bigger than average? You don't have to answer here, and you can Google to find out what average is. LIke another poster said, I'm no therapist, but between a smaller than average entrance and a larger than average, umm, man, you could have the answer right there. IIRC, 5.1" is considered the average length of an erection based on a 1996 study conducted by the Journal or Urology. Different studies have produced different results ranging from 5.1" to 6.3". Girth may also be a huge factor, possibly more than length.
Thank you everyone for your replies. I'll look into it and see how everything works out.
Good luck OP Enjoy!!!!
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I'll look into it and see how everything works out.
Enjoy!!!!
