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Oh yeah, baby! What could be hotter than a guy who doesn't shower, doesn't brush or floss and has dead skin hanging off his body? You'd go for it too if you were given the opportunity!
I would start out with a strong solvent, like gasoline, and a stiff wire brush.
After you get the worst of it off, you can go to a milder treatment, like Ajax or Bon Ami.
Of course this will just get off the crud.
The stink will require a more extreme procedure.
I haven't laughed this hard in a loooong time, actually I still am!!!
What you need is a good G.I. shower. Like the ones we used to give guys who wouldn't shower in the Army. With a scrub brush and lysol soap.
Then apply bear grease to get rid of the dry skin.
Hedge trimmers should take care of the hair and beard.
Wipe off bear grease before making love to wife. It will make you slide off.
You can leave a little in one certain area if you need help sliding in.
I would start out with a strong solvent, like gasoline, and a stiff wire brush.
After you get the worst of it off, you can go to a milder treatment, like Ajax or Bon Ami.
Of course this will just get off the crud.
The stink will require a more extreme procedure.
Would you suggest regular,premium,or super unleaded?
Yeah, really! BTW, where is our good friend Stacy? Haven't seen him/her around lately. Maybe his parents busted him and he went back to playing video games with his teenage pals.
I have been most often living in the wild to the point that I spend months without showering. I am used to it but now I feel bad that I don't take basic care of myself such as getting a regular shave, brushing my teeth and the usual stuff.
What do I need to do to remove all these dead skin on my body before my wife realizes that while away I lived a terrible life. We are anxious to "hop on the good foot and do the bad things" after 10 years of separation and only satisfying each others sexual needs via video cam,email and phone calls. I don't want my kids to look down on me but alias something we field technicians make sacrifices and possibly poor judgments.
I took my first real shower and was shocked as to the amount of debris on me. Now I am hesitating to meet my family. What happens if my wife wants sex immediately. If I deny she would become suspicious-something is wrong. I don't want this hence what are my options.
For her sake: Let the separation lapse into an immediate divorce and let her fly free.
For your sake: Donate yourself to the nearest zoo and start mating with a female gorilla!
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