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Old 02-15-2008, 11:43 PM
 
33 posts, read 106,774 times
Reputation: 24

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I have been most often living in the wild to the point that I spend months without showering. I am used to it but now I feel bad that I don't take basic care of myself such as getting a regular shave, brushing my teeth and the usual stuff.

What do I need to do to remove all these dead skin on my body before my wife realizes that while away I lived a terrible life. We are anxious to "hop on the good foot and do the bad things" after 10 years of separation and only satisfying each others sexual needs via video cam,email and phone calls. I don't want my kids to look down on me but alias something we field technicians make sacrifices and possibly poor judgments.

I took my first real shower and was shocked as to the amount of debris on me. Now I am hesitating to meet my family. What happens if my wife wants sex immediately. If I deny she would become suspicious-something is wrong. I don't want this hence what are my options.

 
Old 02-15-2008, 11:49 PM
 
1,655 posts, read 3,398,261 times
Reputation: 1827
Eww...surely you jest !?!?
 
Old 02-16-2008, 12:01 AM
 
Location: Western NC
651 posts, read 1,416,925 times
Reputation: 498
To heal your dry skin, start out by using a mild body wash while in the shower to prevent your skin from drying out anymore. Next, use a full body exfoliator twice a week while in the shower to remove the dead skin. Finally, apply lotion to your entire body every day after you shower and before bed. Your skin should start looking and feeling better soon.

ETA: Try to find a lotion specifically made for dry skin to use on your body. Body butter or body cream is even better, but a good lotion will work. For your face, make sure to use a facial lotion to prevent clogging your pores. Good luck and I hope your wife appreciates your efforts.

Last edited by Maia160; 02-16-2008 at 12:11 AM..
 
Old 02-16-2008, 12:10 AM
 
783 posts, read 2,587,550 times
Reputation: 340
is he for real or what?
 
Old 02-16-2008, 12:13 AM
 
Location: Western NC
651 posts, read 1,416,925 times
Reputation: 498
I don't know if he's for real or not but he sounds sincere. There's no harm in answering his question in any event. Your answer might help somebody else as well.
 
Old 02-16-2008, 12:19 AM
 
Location: Ocean Shores, WA
5,092 posts, read 14,832,394 times
Reputation: 10865
I would start out with a strong solvent, like gasoline, and a stiff wire brush.
After you get the worst of it off, you can go to a milder treatment, like Ajax or Bon Ami.

Of course this will just get off the crud.
The stink will require a more extreme procedure.
 
Old 02-16-2008, 12:20 AM
 
783 posts, read 2,587,550 times
Reputation: 340
Quote:
Originally Posted by Maia160 View Post
I don't know if he's for real or not but he sounds sincere. There's no harm in answering his question in any event. Your answer might help somebody else as well.
true, helping him helps a billion others.
 
Old 02-16-2008, 12:22 AM
 
783 posts, read 2,587,550 times
Reputation: 340
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fat Freddy View Post
I would start out with a strong solvent, like gasoline, and a stiff wire brush.
After you get the worst of it off, you can go to a milder treatment, like Ajax or Bon Ami.

Of course this will just get off the crud.
The stink will require a more extreme procedure.
LMAO this I never knew of.
 
Old 02-16-2008, 04:11 AM
 
2,776 posts, read 3,984,503 times
Reputation: 3049
I'd say that visiting a dentist to get your teeth taken care of would also be a top priority after so much neglect.
 
Old 02-16-2008, 12:54 PM
 
Location: Somewhere.
10,481 posts, read 25,286,775 times
Reputation: 9120
And after he does all of the above, I suggest regular daily showers after that!!!
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