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I find it ironic that women are giving medical advice under the premise that googling stuff makes them an expert on male sexuality.
THIS woman had a sexual relationship with a wonderful man who'd had a sexless marriage and no other women for years. And yes, I do believe him on that. We've known each other since college. He was surprised and unhappy when he was unable to attain orgasm during our otherwise very enjoyable encounters- chalked it up to his stressful job and not getting enough sleep. Then he had a serious stroke. He had high BP (which he sort of knew but wasn't managing), was overweight and was diabetic (which he didn't know). He's now on the other side of the country where his family can take care of him. He was only 64 when it happened.
Lets cut to the chase OP. Do you like foreplay? If not then its natural to not be able to keep the erection throughout the entire process. Foreplay can last a long time and even a spry 20 year old can lose interest after a prolonged period of time. In new relationships it seems like foreplay is mandatory so that the lady doesn't feel objectified, so we're forced to participate. Once you get comfortable with your partner and can get passed having to do this, then you can determine if you have ED. The problem is not necessarily ED but your lack of interest in foreplay.
If you want to try to keep it going through the foreplay then speak to your Urologist about getting you some pills. There's nothing wrong with that.
Forced to participate? There IS foreplay that is pleasurable to the man as well, you know.
So after the relationship I was referenced in the OP I didn't date anyone for a few months. Then in November I started dating a woman that I was really physically attracted to. The first two times we attempted to have sex I lost my erection both times after foreplay was extended. In both cases the evening ended before I was able to see if it returned later. Just prior to this I had gone to the doctor for an unrelated issue and when I when they weighed me I was shocked to see that I weighed 215 lbs. I don't have a scale at home, but I had never known myself to weigh more than 200 lbs before. Well I decided to do something about it. I started exercising and eating generally healthier. I steadily lost weight. At the end of January I weighed 193. I also started dating someone new at this time. I have not had the slightest hint of any performance issue. Not only have I never lost my erection, but have been able to have sex 3 and 4 times in one night. Hard to believe that losing 25 lbs could have this dramatic of an effect. So I don't know if some of it was mental. Guess I will never know.
Diet and lifestyle are probably major. But one true test is whether a dude can self-pleasure without said problems. If such is relatively easy, then all the plumbing is OK and it can relate to the mind (different partners, performance anxiety, etc.).....
My personal opinion is that nature really didn't care what we could do after 50 - but our culture is so highly sexualized that many think sex is "natural" to whatever age the article they read told them.
I'd say it's not. Whether "the end" comes at 50 or at 70 or at 80 may be a combo of lifestyle, luck of the draw and other factors.
I think all men and women should stop measuring themselves (pun intended) by such things after a certain age...unless that happens to be their major goal in life or one of their top 3 methods of recreation and entertainment.
One needs to consider the very basics - sex is for reproduction. The "fun" factor was just there so you WOULD reproduce.....
Yep. But people will ignore this 99% of the time. They just don't want to hear it.
Could also be BECAUSE of pills. Some medicines can do that to men. I've read Wellbutrin (depression) can cause it, a medicine commonly prescribed to men.
Actually, Wellbutrin (bupropion) is one of the antidepressants LESS likely to cause issues compared to others like Prozac, Paxil, Zoloft, Celexa, Lexapro, or Luvox.
So after the relationship I was referenced in the OP I didn't date anyone for a few months. Then in November I started dating a woman that I was really physically attracted to. The first two times we attempted to have sex I lost my erection both times after foreplay was extended. In both cases the evening ended before I was able to see if it returned later. Just prior to this I had gone to the doctor for an unrelated issue and when I when they weighed me I was shocked to see that I weighed 215 lbs. I don't have a scale at home, but I had never known myself to weigh more than 200 lbs before. Well I decided to do something about it. I started exercising and eating generally healthier. I steadily lost weight. At the end of January I weighed 193. I also started dating someone new at this time. I have not had the slightest hint of any performance issue. Not only have I never lost my erection, but have been able to have sex 3 and 4 times in one night. Hard to believe that losing 25 lbs could have this dramatic of an effect. So I don't know if some of it was mental. Guess I will never know.
You say "foreplay" very generically. Are you losing it when you're doing foreplay for her? Don't you kinda do mutual foreplay? Or is THAT when you have issues?
You need to enjoy what you're doing for her (because her enjoying herself is exciting for you) and you need to enjoy whatever she's doing for you. So you need to both be communicating what you like and don't like. BTW, as men get older, they may need more foreplay to get going - it may not be as "automatic" as just seeing her naked like when you were younger. If so, make the adjustment.
You say "foreplay" very generically. Are you losing it when you're doing foreplay for her? Don't you kinda do mutual foreplay? Or is THAT when you have issues?
You need to enjoy what you're doing for her (because her enjoying herself is exciting for you) and you need to enjoy whatever she's doing for you. So you need to both be communicating what you like and don't like. BTW, as men get older, they may need more foreplay to get going - it may not be as "automatic" as just seeing her naked like when you were younger. If so, make the adjustment.
Well when I first wrote the post it had only happened when I was doing foreplay for her for a fairly long time and nothing was being done for me. Then when I was, or better said she was, finished and she wanted to either return the favor or we were going to actually have sex I had lost my erection and could not get it back right away. A few times I was still erect after foreplay but lost it as soon as I put the condom on. But as I said the problem has completely vanished now. No matter the circumstances I have had no issue maintaining or reviving an erection.
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